hi all,
I have been browsing for a while and you have unknowingly provided me with great support over the past while and I want to thank you all for that.
My Mum has vascular dementia and unfortunately has deteriorated very fast. It is strange as in some ways she seems fine but in other ways she is totally changed. We were advised that she had to have 24 hour care and I found a nursing home close to where I live that is excellent. So she went in, and whilst she has settled in lots of ways (taking part in activities etc) she still is constantly telling me how heartbroken she is to be there and can she come home, and how browned off she is.
I feel so mean that I am locking her up. I know if she wasn't in there she would have had a very bad accident (came close to it a lot of times) and we tried other supports but she just needed 24 hour care. I have small children and work, and just couldn't do it. The guilt is killing me, maybe if I had tried harder I could have done it.
Not sure what the point of this post is, I just wonder how you cope with seeing someone you love so upset. I hate visiting her as it is just so hard seeing her upset, although the nursing home tell me she is fine during the day, and it is only in the evening, also compared to lots of the residents she is actually quite calm.
Do they ever settle?
thanks for reading, umc
I have been browsing for a while and you have unknowingly provided me with great support over the past while and I want to thank you all for that.
My Mum has vascular dementia and unfortunately has deteriorated very fast. It is strange as in some ways she seems fine but in other ways she is totally changed. We were advised that she had to have 24 hour care and I found a nursing home close to where I live that is excellent. So she went in, and whilst she has settled in lots of ways (taking part in activities etc) she still is constantly telling me how heartbroken she is to be there and can she come home, and how browned off she is.
I feel so mean that I am locking her up. I know if she wasn't in there she would have had a very bad accident (came close to it a lot of times) and we tried other supports but she just needed 24 hour care. I have small children and work, and just couldn't do it. The guilt is killing me, maybe if I had tried harder I could have done it.
Not sure what the point of this post is, I just wonder how you cope with seeing someone you love so upset. I hate visiting her as it is just so hard seeing her upset, although the nursing home tell me she is fine during the day, and it is only in the evening, also compared to lots of the residents she is actually quite calm.
Do they ever settle?
thanks for reading, umc