Difficult situation

[Pitcher15]

Hey, I'm new, so ill introduce myself a little! I'm 22 and my dad is 63 and has Alzheimer's. I've kind of been thrown into being his carer as my mum passed away very unexpectantly last year. As I still live at home with my 2 useless brothers, I seem to have stepped into the mother role in the house, even after telling everyone I didn't want to! Dad got diagnosed about 2 years ago now, didn't think much of it when he was cos i knew mum would always be there to look after him, but now it seems its my job! The thing is I work full time, to keep the house going as for some reason we're not entitled to may benifits despite having no money! With my brothers also either working evening or daytime, dad is left on his own a lot and I always worry about him. He's not that bad yet, as he looks after our 2 dogs still as after mum died they seem to be his life, he still pops to the shops on his own and can still remember his own PIN number! The thing I'm most worried about is the future. I have an understanding on how this horrible disease is going to take over his life but I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to handle his care. Still being young and after speaking to him we've all decided that I won't quit my job to be his full time carer, as this is something both he and mum wouldn't of wanted. But I have no idea of how to go about getting care for him. He says he doesn't want to go into a care home which I respect but what other help is there? Also what is it like for cost? As its only my wages that is keeping the house afloat at the mo, I can't afford to run 2 house and care! Sorry if I have waffled on, but I am getting extremely run down at the mo. any help is much appreciated
Sarah xx

 

[rjm]

Hi Pitcher,

Welcome, I'm glad you found your way here. You have certainly been thrown into the middle of it. Sorry to hear about your mum, and now you have to worry about caring for your dad. I think if you contact the local society you will get a lot of advice and direction, there is a branch in Bridport. (http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/custom_scripts/branch.php?branch=true&branchCode=14516). There is also a lot of info on the Factsheets here on this site, there is a link on the top of this page.

Good luck with it all,

 

[Vivienne3]

I was in a similar situation with my husband and managed to get a personal assistant who initially came to keep him company but then assisted more as time went on. First we were sign posted to a social worker who was absolutely great and we got 10 hours but in the end we got 40 hours help. I have managed to keep my job and my 53 year old husband at home for as long as possible. Maybe contact the alzheimers society first as accept help from the social services in your area. There is help out there. His assistant used to take him out on trips bowling, pool etc which was really helpful.

 

[k bendahan]

response

I empathize with your predicament . It is very difficult to be thrown into a situation that you were not expecting. You need to find out about all available services that you can access including treatment centers with day care programs, social workers who are skilled in this area(the government should have free programs available for you), also a neurologist who can diagnose your parent and prescribe medication that may slow the progress of Alzheimer's. Good luck . It is a difficult journey your on but one that can be rewarding as well.

 

[Bodensee]

Your Local Mental Health Team

Hello Pitcher15,

Perhaps you could contact your local mental health team, they deal with people of all ages with various dementia diseases, they can visit you and your dad at home and offer you advice which could be invaluable. Your dad is very young to have AD, there may be research trials he could go on, again the mental health people should be able to help in this area.