Hi. I haven't posted for a while but I'm still caring for my 90 year Mum with advanced stage Vascular Dementia, at home with me, 6 years down the line. I was told 3 years ago, she was at end of life but somehow she is still here, despite being extremely frail, and just weighing 6 stone. As difficult as it is, I will care for her until the end, but she sadly has very little quality of life now and it's totally heartbreaking.
Some of you may recall from my posts a few years back, Mum and I had a dreadful time when after my Mums partner died, she was removed from her home by my sibling (who hadnt been in contact with Mum for over a decade) who moved her into their home then financially and emotionally abused her. I had to get the police and social services involved, and it all went to court with 3 hearings in London. It was one of the worst times of my life but eventually the Judge saw through all the lies and poisoned statements, and eventually, I was given guardianship of Mum to live with me, a solicitor appointed as a Financial Deputy to look after what is left of Mums money, and despite Mum not wanting contact, fortnightly contact sessions of 2 hour duration were set up for my sibling in my home (I have to go out) overseen by a social worker. About 60% of contact meetings have happened, the rest of the time my sibling has cancelled for various reasons. They only stay an hour as Mum gets so distressed and tired.
Due to Covid, we obviously had to stop contact to keep myself and Mum safe. In 6 months there has only been 2 texts from my sibling to enquire how Mum is. No present on Mums 90th, no card or present on Mothers Day, no phone calls, no suggestion of setting up Facetime to keep in contact with Mum. Nothing.
However my sibling now wants to start up visits again and has sent a text suggesting sitting in the front garden with Mum. I am unsure what to do as I know they have been isolating but I do not know why (we do not speak). I do not know who they mix with or where they go and feel after all this time of my being so careful to protect Mum and I, this could be a risk. Also I doubt Mum will go out into the garden and sit out there especially if it's chilly and with the colder weather coming this is not something that could be continued. She hardly ever sits out with me anymore. I could purchase a gazebo and put that out there with a table and a couple of well spaced out chairs but Mum doesn't understand all this and I really don't know what is the best thing to do.
I would appreciate your comments.
Some of you may recall from my posts a few years back, Mum and I had a dreadful time when after my Mums partner died, she was removed from her home by my sibling (who hadnt been in contact with Mum for over a decade) who moved her into their home then financially and emotionally abused her. I had to get the police and social services involved, and it all went to court with 3 hearings in London. It was one of the worst times of my life but eventually the Judge saw through all the lies and poisoned statements, and eventually, I was given guardianship of Mum to live with me, a solicitor appointed as a Financial Deputy to look after what is left of Mums money, and despite Mum not wanting contact, fortnightly contact sessions of 2 hour duration were set up for my sibling in my home (I have to go out) overseen by a social worker. About 60% of contact meetings have happened, the rest of the time my sibling has cancelled for various reasons. They only stay an hour as Mum gets so distressed and tired.
Due to Covid, we obviously had to stop contact to keep myself and Mum safe. In 6 months there has only been 2 texts from my sibling to enquire how Mum is. No present on Mums 90th, no card or present on Mothers Day, no phone calls, no suggestion of setting up Facetime to keep in contact with Mum. Nothing.
However my sibling now wants to start up visits again and has sent a text suggesting sitting in the front garden with Mum. I am unsure what to do as I know they have been isolating but I do not know why (we do not speak). I do not know who they mix with or where they go and feel after all this time of my being so careful to protect Mum and I, this could be a risk. Also I doubt Mum will go out into the garden and sit out there especially if it's chilly and with the colder weather coming this is not something that could be continued. She hardly ever sits out with me anymore. I could purchase a gazebo and put that out there with a table and a couple of well spaced out chairs but Mum doesn't understand all this and I really don't know what is the best thing to do.
I would appreciate your comments.