Gosh, Kim, your post does not come across as selfish at all, not one little bit. I am also devastated at losing the strong, feisty, loving and totally reliable parent that my mam used to be. It has hit me very hard, and also watching my dad making himself ill with his determination to care for her himself at home with as little help as possible has given me many emotional problems. You are not alone.
On a practical level, there may be financial help available, depending on your dad's personal circumstances, in the form of attendance allowance, carer's allowence, council tax reduction, etc. You need to get both your dad and your mum assessed, separately, to see what is available to them. Your dad is entitled to an assessment of his own needs, and your mum is, too, as a carer. You do this, I believe, by contacting Social Services and getting them on board.
Good luck, and do please let us know how you get on. I am sure people with more experience than me will be along shortly with other ideas to add to those already given by the other posters.
Remember to take care of yourself, too.
Xx
Well after 18 months we finnally got the results of my dads brain scan and they have confirmed Alzhimers with LBD... Although my mum and I knew it had to be something like this I cant tell u how much of a shock hearing those words from th Consultant was for us both... My mum cares for him 24/7 and they are both in thier 70's up till now I have not been able to get any help from anyone... I live 90 miles away and have managed to get careline put in and I pay for this, I have bought a walking frame for dad, taken doors off and put slidding doors on so he cant get locked in bathroom, I have tried endlessly to get information for some help for my mum I even had to buy a wheelchair for her to take my dad out. I can't believe there is no financail help or support that they can get to make life a little easier for them. The Consutant has reffered my dad to the dementia team and I'm not sure if this is something they will do or if people have to find out for themselves? I am worn out lol... Im sure if I can get them a little help finaically it would lift my mums spirit. We were told yesterday that dad is medium stage but goodnees knows what that means, all I know he is getting worse daily he doesnt eat cant hold a conversation falls often, and I just want to enable my mum to care for him at home with some assistance but i'm struggling to get my head round all this can anyone give me some advice please?? 
