Hi there,
I have some concerns about my lovely Dad and I am worried that he has dementia. I don't live with him - he lives in sheltered housing the floor below his mum (my nan). My nan is 96 and has increasing heart problems and requires alot of assisstance. Dad has been living with nan and helping her with medications and shopping/daily tasks for years.
Only the other day, he said "Sometimes I think i'm kidding myself that I don't have dementia" and the penny dropped.
I thought, 'how can I have been so stupid!? How have I missed this?"
Now he has named it, it all seems to make sense from what I have been reading. He is 75 and very forgetful (which he always has been). However, over recent years and particularly so now, he is becoming worse with his short term memory. He will go out into town and not come home with the shopping (or some items). He will forget where he has parked the car (he even told me the other day that he walked home and forgot that he drove in.) He wanders around like a lost puppy sometimes. We went into town for some shopping for nan the other day and we had to go into the co-op, the bank, boots pharmacy and other places. He looses track of where he is so easily and seems almost disorientated sometimes. He battles with himself and racks his brains trying to remember everything. He makes lists of things he and nan needs and leaves the shopping list at home and then doesn;t come home with what they need
His flat is a state. He hasn't hoovered in weeks. He had 3 bin bags of rubbish in his flat that were causing a rancid smell. I asked him in a frustrated way why he hadn't taken them out. I have taken issue with the state of his flat before, but he just doesnt seem to be taking care of it and it's getting beyond a joke. Perhaps to him it feels like an insurmountable task? Perhps he doesn't know where to start? I've offerd to help but he refuses and says "I need to go through things in my own time etc" so I back off, not wanting to be the casue of any pressure or embarassment.
I know that he has alot to think about with nan and it's constant and he is starting to get increasingly irritaed by her (which to a degree is understandbale when you are caring for a person). His long term memory is as sharp as a flint. He was a scientist and he remembers everything about silicones and formulas and machines. He can recite huge long monologues from his school days, word perfect.
Every time I see him, he continues to tell me jokes that he has told me literally a hundred times before and I have started to get frustrated with him and i'll say 'yes dad you told me that before". And it seems like he just doesn't remember!
As I am writing this I know increasingly that I must go to the doctors with him to assess all this, but it's knowing how to broach the subject with him sensitively. He needs guidance and help and no-one else but me (in the immediate) will be able to help him like I can. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I might start the conversation sensitively enough but with firmness?
It's such a horrible thought all of this, I've never even thought that this could be a possibility for him but it's all beginning to add up.
Thank you.
Melanie
I have some concerns about my lovely Dad and I am worried that he has dementia. I don't live with him - he lives in sheltered housing the floor below his mum (my nan). My nan is 96 and has increasing heart problems and requires alot of assisstance. Dad has been living with nan and helping her with medications and shopping/daily tasks for years.
Only the other day, he said "Sometimes I think i'm kidding myself that I don't have dementia" and the penny dropped.
I thought, 'how can I have been so stupid!? How have I missed this?"
Now he has named it, it all seems to make sense from what I have been reading. He is 75 and very forgetful (which he always has been). However, over recent years and particularly so now, he is becoming worse with his short term memory. He will go out into town and not come home with the shopping (or some items). He will forget where he has parked the car (he even told me the other day that he walked home and forgot that he drove in.) He wanders around like a lost puppy sometimes. We went into town for some shopping for nan the other day and we had to go into the co-op, the bank, boots pharmacy and other places. He looses track of where he is so easily and seems almost disorientated sometimes. He battles with himself and racks his brains trying to remember everything. He makes lists of things he and nan needs and leaves the shopping list at home and then doesn;t come home with what they need
His flat is a state. He hasn't hoovered in weeks. He had 3 bin bags of rubbish in his flat that were causing a rancid smell. I asked him in a frustrated way why he hadn't taken them out. I have taken issue with the state of his flat before, but he just doesnt seem to be taking care of it and it's getting beyond a joke. Perhaps to him it feels like an insurmountable task? Perhps he doesn't know where to start? I've offerd to help but he refuses and says "I need to go through things in my own time etc" so I back off, not wanting to be the casue of any pressure or embarassment.
I know that he has alot to think about with nan and it's constant and he is starting to get increasingly irritaed by her (which to a degree is understandbale when you are caring for a person). His long term memory is as sharp as a flint. He was a scientist and he remembers everything about silicones and formulas and machines. He can recite huge long monologues from his school days, word perfect.
Every time I see him, he continues to tell me jokes that he has told me literally a hundred times before and I have started to get frustrated with him and i'll say 'yes dad you told me that before". And it seems like he just doesn't remember!
As I am writing this I know increasingly that I must go to the doctors with him to assess all this, but it's knowing how to broach the subject with him sensitively. He needs guidance and help and no-one else but me (in the immediate) will be able to help him like I can. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I might start the conversation sensitively enough but with firmness?
It's such a horrible thought all of this, I've never even thought that this could be a possibility for him but it's all beginning to add up.
Thank you.
Melanie