Diagnosed 6 months ago

[LHP]

Hi everyone
My mum (75) was diagnosed 6 months ago, we’ve always been exceptionally close and I had suspected something was going on for at least a year before the diagnosis. GP was treating her for anxiety and I eventually managed to speak to the GP and told her my fears, memory clinic appointment was arranged and we got the diagnosis.
Initially I dealt with the diagnosis well, but as the months are going on I can see things changing. She’s forgetting more and more. She lives with my dad and all they seem to do is bicker and argue over the silliest things. It’s so so difficult for them both and my heart is breaking. How do you cope? I seem to manage a few weeks of being okay and them it feels like my whole world is falling apart. I do everything I can to help them both, physically and emotionally. Sorry for the rambling first post, just needed to get it out.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello LHP, it’s a shame you have had to find Talking Point in such circumstances but I’m sure you will find the forum a friendly and informative place.
Is there any support in your parent’s area? When my wife was diagnosed the clinic arranged a visit by a Dementia Navigator who gave us a lot of information about our local support network. Our first contact with the Alzheimer’s Society was at a Memory Cafe where we met other people with dementia and their careers. Talking to people at the Cafe helped us understand what we were dealing with and this is important in calming the situation. A visit from a Community Psychiatric Nurse also helped to explain what was going on in our lives. Without this type of understanding the bickering may continue as you dad may get frustrated by the situation and your mum may become confused, upset, anxious or depressed.
I think there is a web system for locating things like Memory Cafes in an area using postcodes and someone may be able to post this for you later.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @LHP
welcome to TP
it's quite an adjustment for all when a diagnosis has been made; it takes time to find your way
here's a link to the main AS site's listings of local services that karaokePete mentioned
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/homepage/168/dementia_connect#!/search
you may also find it helpful to contact Admiral Nurses
https://www.dementiauk.org/get-support/admiral-nursing/
and I found compassionate communication helped me with grasping what it was like for my dad, though it isn't the answer to everything
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/sho...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired
http://www.ocagingservicescollabora...te-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired.pdf

and posting on TP with whatever is on your mind will help, so feel free to ramble as much as you need to

 

[Mipsydoo]

hello @LHP my mums been recently diagnosed and it is hard to cope emotionally . some days i think " ive got this , we're getting there " then the next i feel ive hit a brick wall and emotionally hanging by a thread . i think what ive discovered from this forum is , we are all doing our best , not to beat yourself up over things & theres no rule book just trial and error.
ive found it a comfort to know youre not alone in how you feel and this forum has some very kind , caring individuals who are happy to share their experiences to help others ,
take care

 

[Duggies-girl]

Hi, I am the same, dad diagnosed 6 months ago but he has had dementia for probably at least six years. He is on his own and will be 88 in April. It is just so sad, I am the only one who bothers with him and he takes up all my time.
I would like to be free but he is my dad and he has always been lovely and still is.
It feels lonely and endless and a bit thank less. I worry about him but he is happy as Larry most of the time. He has forgotten that he has dementia.