Desperate for advice I am exhausted

Alyson1955

Registered User
Mar 6, 2016
6
my husband has come home from hospital with a catheter attached as he is waiting for a prostate proceedure. He is on the ‘urgent ‘ list but he could be waiting six weeks.
He is fine during the day but just can’t cope at night. He will not let me sleep, I’ve tried sleeping with him but he wakes me asking to go to toilet (he is hooked up to night bag which I keep in a bucket in case it bursts) he can’t understand he doesn’t need the toilet. If I sleep in my own room he just shouts for me. I unhooked him at 5 am this morning and he came downstairs but still came to seek me out three times coming in my room waking me, I am exhausted
He was given Mirtazapine 15mg two weeks ago but after 5 days I stopped it as it was making him even more confused he didn’t know where he was and was really scared.
I do not know where to go for help, has anyone been given sleeping tablets for their spouses I guess probably not as the way I am feeling today i would probably take the lot myself!!
My husband is 78 fourteen years older than me. Don’t know how I would have coped if I had been 78 too.
 

ebas

Registered User
Aug 8, 2019
71
my husband has come home from hospital with a catheter attached as he is waiting for a prostate proceedure. He is on the ‘urgent ‘ list but he could be waiting six weeks.
He is fine during the day but just can’t cope at night. He will not let me sleep, I’ve tried sleeping with him but he wakes me asking to go to toilet (he is hooked up to night bag which I keep in a bucket in case it bursts) he can’t understand he doesn’t need the toilet. If I sleep in my own room he just shouts for me. I unhooked him at 5 am this morning and he came downstairs but still came to seek me out three times coming in my room waking me, I am exhausted
He was given Mirtazapine 15mg two weeks ago but after 5 days I stopped it as it was making him even more confused he didn’t know where he was and was really scared.
I do not know where to go for help, has anyone been given sleeping tablets for their spouses I guess probably not as the way I am feeling today i would probably take the lot myself!!
My husband is 78 fourteen years older than me. Don’t know how I would have coped if I had been 78 too.
 

ebas

Registered User
Aug 8, 2019
71
I was in the same situation as you.My OH has vascular dementia & was in hospital for 4 weeks.He came out with catheter attached. I had hardly any sleep. After 3 days at home he pulled his catheters out in the night.Back to hospital he went.The social worker said he would be coming home last week.I asked how I was expected to sleep.No answer.My OH has got worse in the night since then & he is being put on different medication.I know how you feel but unfortunately I don't have any answers.I know when he comes home the same thing will happen again
 

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
661
Basingstoke, Hampshire
I'm sure we can cope reasonably well if given enough sleep. My problem is that I need to get up with my husband when he needs to go to the toilet at night. I've always automatically woken up when he tries to get up from the bed but since he had a fall last November I always get up with him now. Some nights he only sleeps for 3 hours before needing the toilet, other nights he will go 5 hours. It's so hard when after a visit to the bathroom I can hear that he is asleep again whereas I am struggling to get back to sleep. So I find sometimes it's hard to stay awake during the day.