I have a much loved Aunt who becomes forgetful and confused, cared for soley by equally much loved Uncle. They have been struggling to cope for a while now. There are no family members nearby (I am over 100 miles away). Their doctor is aware and has offered day centre help (refused), neighbours no longer visit. My aunt would be appalled if she realised how unkempt she and her home now look, and what a strain uncle is under. At the end of the day it has to be their choice, but do I have to wait for a catastrophe to force the issue?