My mum has just been diagnosed with dementia. My sister and I have been advised of this, but we have yet to have the interview with the memory assessment team, who will go through it all with us and tell mum. She is in denial that there is anything wrong with her and particularly she is very angry that she has been advised that while the assessment was going on she should not drive. Can anyone give me any advice on this please?
denial
- Thread starter manlou
- Start date
This is so tough. My dad was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's this year and he feels the same about the driving thing. In fact, my mom hasn't been able to stop him!!! Apparently, the illness could make the insurance null and void. It worries me. He will be getting a drivers assessment done though and I can't wait. The result of that...he will have to live with and comply. All I can suggest is maybe it will get easier after your mom has her assessment?? Sometimes the professionals opinions are more accepted by the patients during their "denial" process.
It's different for you as you have the driving issue and your mum's safety and that of everyone else is paramount. My mum will accept she has all of the problems associated with dementia so long as we blame them on her heart disease, brain vessel damage, falls and bangs to her head. The dementia word is banned as she won't accept it. If mum doesn't accept dementia could you find another reason for her symptoms maybe?
Mum was so angry when the memory man mentioned A and D as causes she all but chucked him out.
Mum was so angry when the memory man mentioned A and D as causes she all but chucked him out.
The doctor at the hospital told me this week that it is more important for mum to accept her symptoms, to feel safe in discussing her symptoms, her confusion, her hallucinations as they were down to physical reasons, if she thought they were dementia she'd hide them and they would be less able to help her.
They play along if you like, with the physical reasons, because she opens up about what is happening to her. If it was dementia she'd keep it secret.
Such a hard call.
There is nothing easy about this disease.
re car insurance
Of course if the driving assessment says he is not a fit driver he will have to stop
anyway. I hope this helps. Gabrielle.
Hi! My husband was told by the specialist when his diagnosis was confirmed that we should immediately inform the insurance company or the policy would be invalid. Saga were brilliant and made no change to the price for that year or the next two. Eventually this year he accepted that he had to stop driving and it helped to keep reminding him of how much money he was saving! He has accepted not having the car any longer amazingly well. I do all the driving now.
Of course if the driving assessment says he is not a fit driver he will have to stop
anyway. I hope this helps. Gabrielle.
I totally agree with Noorza, my wife's in denial and it's easier I find to forget the diagnosis and focus on the everyday problems she has and find ways to make things easier for her to deal with. I wouldn't keep reminding someone if they had cancer or something, if discussing the symptoms and the problems they cause works for her just do that, the last thing you want is her hiding symptoms and becoming distrustful of you. When I went through all this with my Mum she acknowledged she was past making decisions but was never happy discussing her diagnosis some people are happier that way.
