1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. hunter

    hunter Registered User

    Oct 20, 2004
    5
    Kent
    Hello I am a new member, this is the first time I have ever been on a discussion website so please bear with me.

    My Grandad has dementia, he is 85 years old, and has deteriorated very fast. He is a shadow of the former man he was.
    You couldn't have imagined a better grandad to have, he was always telling stories, jokes and so kind he literally wouldn't hurt a fly (he would catch them and put them in the garden!)

    He now has become agressive, he does have his good and bad days but sometimes he doesn't even know who my nan is, they have been married 63 years.

    It is really my nan that I am concerned about, as my grandad wouldn't even imagine that he had a problem, he recently had a fall and brushed it off to nothing, even though he can now barely walk as well as having trouble breathing but he never complains, he has no worries really himself, he is happy as long as he is at home with his pets and (when he remembers her) my nan.

    But it is my nan that I am worried about, she often becomes scared of him when he is agressive, he cannot get into the bath, but does go to a home once a week where the carers bathe him when there is enough staff. He also keeps my nan up most of the night with strange routines he has, he will change his pyjamas 3 or 4 times a night, convinced that they are soaking wet with sweat but they are bone dry, he also checks every door and window to see if it is locked many times as well as other strange things

    Can anyone tell me of any help that my nan can get, as she is not coping well at the moment, they have looked into getting a walk-in bath/shower but the people never show up. Are there others things out there which she is entitled to?

    Thank you for taking the time to read this very long message but I wanted to set the scene a little first.
     
  2. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Hunter,

    Welcome to TP. Please firstly have a quick look at our Initial Pack for Carers Thread and hopefully this will give you a few ideas. Also the Fact Sheets are very helpful sources of information.

    You really need to contact your grandfather's GP initially and ask him to set in motion some referrals to Community Support and Social Services, as well as your grandfather having a full medical checkup and possibly some AD prescriptions.

    Do this as soon as you can. Keep in touch here on TP and we all will help you through.

    Very best wishes,

    Jude
     
  3. Katy44

    Katy44 Registered User

    Sep 14, 2004
    134
    I don't know if the Alzheimer's Helpline is linked to the Alzheimer's Society (http://www.alzheimers.org.uk) but it's worth getting in touch with your local branch. Mine said they hold coffee mornings etc and if I could convince my grandparents to go, I hope that my Grandad (the carer) would realise from swopping stories that some of the hurtful stuff is very common and just a symptom!
    Well that's my hope anyway.
     
  4. Katy44

    Katy44 Registered User

    Sep 14, 2004
    134
    Nada - it obviously is - sorry!

    Hunter, good luck, and keep us informed of what is happening.
     
  5. hunter

    hunter Registered User

    Oct 20, 2004
    5
    Kent
    thank you very much everyone for all your useful help! I will certainly pass this information on to my nan as well as checking it out myself.

    I think the coffee mornings is a brilliant idea, as my nan feels very lonely as they can no longer converse together and she relys on us, her family to be there which does put pressure on us.

    I know that he was going to a clinic where they were prescribing 'memory pills' I don't know what they are called but I shall find out. They were testing his memory as well and I think this is where he was diagnosed. There seems to be a lot of obstacles with everything they have tried though, but I am going there tonight and I shall get myself up-to-date with what is going on.

    Thank you again, I hope I can give just as practical help in the future!
     
  6. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Hunter,

    Good luck and don't despair. Keep on posting with any questions you have.

    Jude
     
  7. hunter

    hunter Registered User

    Oct 20, 2004
    5
    Kent
    Hi,

    I printed off almost all the information that you had pointed me to, ie, the support page and the local branch numbers as well as the helpline etc. I gave this to my nan who found it extremely useful.

    I do know now though that they have taken quite a few of the steps already outlined ie Social Services have made one call, and the proper assessment is going to happen at some point, but they have indicated that there is a long wait, so far it has been about 3 months. What SS have done though is set up a day where my grandad goes to a home once a week, gets a meal, and bathed etc, which certainly does give my nan a well earned break and he finally now does enjoy it.

    What was especially useful is the fact that it says in the getting support page that the local council is duty bound to ensure that the house has the adaptations that they need, so if it is beginning to take even longer, my nan can write to them quoting this which helps.

    On a positive note as well, yesterday my grandad had a very good day, he was happy and was watching his favourite programme The Weakest Link where he was actually answering some of the questions, which I was really pleased by. It feels like on a bad day the whole world has ended but on a good day, yesterday is forgotton, so there certainly is hope.

    After reading all your messages my family and I were very touched by the help that people a willing to give. Thank you
     
  8. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Hunter
    the consultants team has within it an OT.
    They can assess the need for aids and adaptations and provide them.
    Enquire about this from the CPN It may be possible and quicker.
    Norman
     
  9. Jude

    Jude Registered User

    Dear Hunter,

    You may also be able to get a faster assessment if you ring your local authority and speak to the Social Community Care Team.

    Best wishes,

    Jude
     

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