Dementia

[catgoondog]

Hi. My mum has dementia, on top of very childlike challenging behaviour issues. She’s in a care home. And have screaming fits when she’s triggered. Usually over her clothes, clothes been taken etc. is it normal for the care home to call when she having these tantrums? I’m on the phone phone, having to deal with screaming women for 44 mins..

Has anyone one else have this clothes issue? Where she thinks the carers are steeling them, taking them away, is this a common behaviour with dementia??


Any advice will be very welcomed for I’m so upset and don’t know where or what to do…

 

[Louise7]

Hello @bird hart and welcome to the Dementia Support Forum. It is quite common for someone with dementia to think that someone is stealing things from them, but the care home staff shouldn't be calling you to deal with this, they should be managing the situation themselves. The fact that they don't know how to deal with challenging behaviour does suggest that this may not be the right care home for your mum. Some homes say that they deal with dementia but don't actually want those with any type of challenging behaviour.

I think the best thing to do is have an honest conversation with the care home manager to let them know that staff are calling you to deal with your mum rather than managing the situation themselves and how upset you are about this. If this is due to a staff training issue then the manager can take this forward, however if they do not want residents with challenging behaviour then at least you will know this, and can take steps to find a care home that will meet your mum's needs. Sorry that you are going through this, it's difficult to think about a change of home but sometimes it's necessary to ensure that someone is in the best care environment for them. Other care homes will be able to deal with this behaviour better and settle your mum without needing to call you to help.

 

[catgoondog]

Hi
Thank u for ur response, already raised with manger about not be able to handle mum, and unfortunately I have no say where mum can go as it’s down to social services…. Who I’ve been on to and say because she’s safe shes a low priority.. I didn’t think it was right to be calling me, and I’m grateful to know that’s it’s normal with this heart breaking disease..

Thank u. X