Dementia sufferer and dog?

[et1949]

Good afternoon

Some of you may know me already and of our circumstances.

We had a visit from my sister for a week, she went home on Saturday. She brought her little mini Schnauzer this time as she drove rather than taking the train.

My husband who has dementia and has been pretty inactive and uninterested lately, really got on well with the dog. The dog seemed to take to him straight away (I sometimes think dogs know things). He really enjoyed the week and seemed to brighten up and enjoyed having the dog around, she kept following him, mostly because my husband drops food a lot.
Sam kept saying 'that dog really loves me because I drop food', I think some was dropped deliberately.

My question is, do people think it would be good for me to adopt a small dog, Its something I've wanted to do for a while but didn't as we used to travel abroad a lot. We wont be doing that anymore now though.

My only slight reservation is if Sam gets much more 'disabled' will I still be able to cope and will he?

Experience and advice would be really welcomed.

Much love
Eileen

 

[Blissy]

Although we haven't ever had a dog of our own my husband does like it when he sees friends dogs. However, I would be very cautious about adopting one at this stage. Sadly in time you will find your husband needs more of your time and to deal with him plus the dog might prove just too much. Dog will need walking and what would you do if time comes when you couldn't go out and leave your husband. Sorry to put a downer on things but I have heard other carers say this.

 

[jac69]

Good afternoon

Some of you may know me already and of our circumstances.

We had a visit from my sister for a week, she went home on Saturday. She brought her little mini Schnauzer this time as she drove rather than taking the train.

My husband who has dementia and has been pretty inactive and uninterested lately, really got on well with the dog. The dog seemed to take to him straight away (I sometimes think dogs know things). He really enjoyed the week and seemed to brighten up and enjoyed having the dog around, she kept following him, mostly because my husband drops food a lot.
Sam kept saying 'that dog really loves me because I drop food', I think some was dropped deliberately.

My question is, do people think it would be good for me to adopt a small dog, Its something I've wanted to do for a while but didn't as we used to travel abroad a lot. We wont be doing that anymore now though.

My only slight reservation is if Sam gets much more 'disabled' will I still be able to cope and will he?

Experience and advice would be really welcomed.

Much love
Eileen

I have 3 dogs 2 mini schnauzers and a mini poodle I find they bring me a bit of light relief. They make me smile every day and I can get out in the fresh air and walk them My o/h can walk one of them but not unsupervised in case he gets lost. I tell him he can get lost but not with my dog. Although the dog has an id tag so they would know where both came from lol. If you have a garden and think you could cope with an older rescue dog then go for it. The rescue centres will help you get the right one for your circumstances. I have just helped a 74year old lady with a mobility scooter give a home to an older dog after she lost hers last year. Not the one she asked for but a match made in heaven. Older dogs are often house trained and content to sit at your feet all day they still have a lot of love to give just at a slower pace. I would advise against a pupy or young dog as they are a lot of work

 

[et1949]

Although we haven't ever had a dog of our own my husband does like it when he sees friends dogs. However, I would be very cautious about adopting one at this stage. Sadly in time you will find your husband needs more of your time and to deal with him plus the dog might prove just too much. Dog will need walking and what would you do if time comes when you couldn't go out and leave your husband. Sorry to put a downer on things but I have heard other carers say this.

Thank you Blissy, I did think this may be a bit ambitious it's just that he was so much more alive with the dog here. It was lovely to see.
My sister said she noticed such a change in him. I said about walking the dog and her answer was to get someone to walk for me if I couldn't when the time comes although a quick walk alone would be good for me to. She used to use a dog walker when she was still working.
Thank you again
It needs a lot of thought.

 

[et1949]

I have 3 dogs 2 mini schnauzers and a mini poodle I find they bring me a bit of light relief. They make me smile every day and I can get out in the fresh air and walk them My o/h can walk one of them but not unsupervised in case he gets lost. I tell him he can get lost but not with my dog. Although the dog has an id tag so they would know where both came from lol. If you have a garden and think you could cope with an older rescue dog then go for it. The rescue centres will help you get the right one for your circumstances. I have just helped a 74year old lady with a mobility scooter give a home to an older dog after she lost hers last year. Not the one she asked for but a match made in heaven. Older dogs are often house trained and content to sit at your feet all day they still have a lot of love to give just at a slower pace. I would advise against a pupy or young dog as they are a lot of work

Thank you Jac69

I had an older small dog in mind. Husband has his own tracking watch but doesn't go anywhere on his own 😉. He's not very good at walking but I sometimes drive him somewhere that we can have a very short walk.

We do have a garden big enough for a small dog to chase a ball or something.

It was so lovely to see him perk up each morning when the dog rushed to greet him. Very moving.

We get attendance allowance which we could use for a dig walker if necessary but I really need the exercise, and escape, myself at the moment.

I will give it some more thought.

Thanks a lot for the advice.

 

[Veritas]

All I will say on this one is that I am now the dog carer as well as caring for my PWD, who is obsessed with the idea that the dog hasn’t been fed and constantly tries to feed him more. In order to protect the dog, I’m spending a lot of my time listening out and intervening when necessary. It is unbelievably annoying and frustrating, and currently I can’t do anything at all without expecting to be interrupted. It doesn’t matter if in the end I’m not interrupted, it is just as distracting.

If you really want a dog for yourself, fair enough, but be aware of the implications.

 

[tc1]

Hello, my wife has middle stage alzheimers, we are both 74 years old, l bought my wife a shih tzu puppy, she loves it. l now are a carer to my wife and the puppy, it means extra work, but it is worth it, when she is upset and crying, the dog is a great help in calming her

 

[et1949]

All I will say on this one is that I am now the dog carer as well as caring for my PWD, who is obsessed with the idea that the dog hasn’t been fed and constantly tries to feed him more. In order to protect the dog, I’m spending a lot of my time listening out and intervening when necessary. It is unbelievably annoying and frustrating, and currently I can’t do anything at all without expecting to be interrupted. It doesn’t matter if in the end I’m not interrupted, it is just as distracting.

If you really want a dog for yourself, fair enough, but be aware of the implications.

Thank you fir the advice. It all helps.

 

[et1949]

Hello, my wife has middle stage alzheimers, we are both 74 years old, l bought my wife a shih tzu puppy, she loves it. l now are a carer to my wife and the puppy, it means extra work, but it is worth it, when she is upset and crying, the dog is a great help in calming her

Thank you. I appreciate it will be another job for me but I do think it may comfort him. He seems so sad most of the time but sisters dog really cheered him up.

 

[Watson1]

I have alzheimers, a border collie,.. terrier, and a cat , a happy mix indeed. oh bit more work but its another grounding point for me. a small dog for sure maybe two years old house, trained ,established personality, so you can make a good choice. i use to have siberians an the like wonderful dogs but not so good for us older folks

 

[et1949]

I have alzheimers, a border collie,.. terrier, and a cat , a happy mix indeed. oh bit more work but its another grounding point for me. a small dog for sure maybe two years old house, trained ,established personality, so you can make a good choice. i use to have siberians an the like wonderful dogs but not so good for us older folks

Thank you. Sounds like you have your work cut out but happy with it. All the best to you xx

 

[sdmhred]

weve always had dogs so it was sad for me that I know I couldn't have managed one plus caring for mum mid stage ….she needed pretty much everything doing for her.

Over feeding animals and letting them out inappropriately does seem to be an issue here.

If you’ve had a dog in the past and know the work and you can manage it - go for it.

If not or even as an experiment try borrowing for a while - from a friend or a scheme like borrow my doggy.

Animals can be therapeutic. We’ve never been cat people but we both appreciate now the cats in the care home and when animals come in to visit

 

[Lawson58]

The first question is have you ever owned a dog before?

I am all for having dogs but it’s not just a matter of having a cute lititle dog and assuming that it’s going to be all good.

I have an old Staffie cross who requires regular injections for arthritis and a special diet for her teeth and annual vaccinations. My husband adores her, takes her for a stroll or two and lets her sleep on his bed.

I also have a ten month old Staffie cross who weighs in at about 30 kgs and who is a ball of energy. My husband cannot manage him and tends to avoid him. But he is my lifesaver. He needs a lot of exercise so we go to the beach, the dog park or a long walk every day but he is a very sociable dog and gets me exercising. He also loves cuddles and hugs and always makes me laugh.

If you haven’t had a dog before, you need to be aware of all of the costs. Council registration, vaccinations, coats for the winter, good collars and leads and maybe even grooming.

The other thing is that a good dog is a well trained dog and you need to be responsible for all of that. I would also suggest that if go ahead with the dog, meet the dog on your own first as you will be the one looking after it so it will essentially be your dog.

 

[lollyc]

Having a dog, if you've never owned one before, is a steep learning curve. As @Lawson58 says, it's not a matter of getting the dog and everything will go swimmingly. Even without dementia in the mix, owning a dog is hard work. You will be very lucky indeed to find an old dog that simply slips into your lifestyle without any issues, and can cope with living with a PWD.
My mother had dogs all her life, and knew all my dogs when she came to live with me. She frequently ignored them, would not think to feed them or let them out, and became very short tempered with them - once poking one with her walking stick. My dogs learned to keep out of her way, as they didn't trust her. They saved my sanity, but they did not enjoy the time Mum spent with us - something that would have distressed her terribly if she had realised.