Dementia dilemmas - simple things become harder to do

[northumbrian_k]

#1 Our guest house in Chester no longer offers breakfast served in guest rooms but will not let us use the breakfast area because we have our dog with us - all right and proper, although we have paid to take breakfast. So the owners suggest that one of us can stay in the room with the dog whilst the other one comes down to the breakfast room and carries items up the rather steep and narrow stairs. Not good in terms of health and safety and certainly not likely to work with a wife who has dementia and can't be left alone for more than a couple of minutes. We decline the offer and find a dog-friendly cafe instead.

#2 We have been seated at out table, the dog has settled down to sleep and our food has just arrived. But I need a spoon for my Thai red curry. If I get up to bring one from the nearby rack, which is just out of sight, the dog will probably wake up and my wife will try to follow me - she has stood up twice already whilst I was ordering at the bar. Fortunately, although it is not table service, I am helped by a passing member of staff.

 

[JaquelineM]

Hallo Northumbrian_k , I do hope in spite of your difficulties you are managing to enjoy your break . Our situation is not as advanced as yours yet , but OH getting increasingly liable to periods of confusion etc , and anything resembling normal life seems to be gradually receding into the past ! It certainly challenges one's reserves of patience and resilience doesn't it ? Anyway all the best and I hope you are enjoying some of the lovely weather we are having down here in the southeast

 

[Grannie G]

There`s no way these developments can be predicted unfortunately, so once again, like so much with dementia, its all about trial and error.

 

[marionq]

All true. My husband is one of the more compliant PWD. This morning though we had half an hour of sheer hell trying to get him up, showered, shaved, dressed, breakfasted and out to the barbers and then the day centre. Eventually he walked in there looking like dandy even with a rose in his lapel! I meanwhile felt on the brink of a stroke.

It really is so unpredictable and for those of you who have your own health problems so much worse.

 

[Tin]

I too have the cutlery problem for mum. so I now have a set of my own that goes into every café with me, works well although occasionally I have left them behind. I also take mum's own linen napkin, the paper ones are useless.

Bit sad that the management could not make an exception regarding serving you your breakfast in your room, feel sure that if they were dealing with someone who had a visible disability they would.

 

[Casbow]

#1 Our guest house in Chester no longer offers breakfast served in guest rooms but will not let us use the breakfast area because we have our dog with us - all right and proper, although we have paid to take breakfast. So the owners suggest that one of us can stay in the room with the dog whilst the other one comes down to the breakfast room and carries items up the rather steep and narrow stairs. Not good in terms of health and safety and certainly not likely to work with a wife who has dementia and can't be left alone for more than a couple of minutes. We decline the offer and find a dog-friendly cafe instead.

#2 We have been seated at out table, the dog has settled down to sleep and our food has just arrived. But I need a spoon for my Thai red curry. If I get up to bring one from the nearby rack, which is just out of sight, the dog will probably wake up and my wife will try to follow me - she has stood up twice already whilst I was ordering at the bar. Fortunately, although it is not table service, I am helped by a passing member of staff.

You have reminded me of what it used to be like when we ate lunch out as part of our trip to town or wherever. When I look back i wonder why I put myself through it. We used to frequent the pub resturants where you could find a table and choose from the menu and then one person could go and order. Sounds so simple. But the whole time I was trying to order I had to keep an eye on David as he would get up and go looking for me (and never in the right direction.) And then just as we started to eat he wanted the toilet. I knew, that when taken to the mens loos he would not go. Didn't like others being in there. but still I had to take him and wait. This often happened 2 or 3 times whilst the dinner was getting colder. And I learnt to hold on for 3 hours sometimes as I couldn't leave him whilst I went. Getting a disabled key was no help at all. He still wouldn't go in there. One day we had a trip to a nice small town, had a walk round, bought a couple of things and had a lunch. Usual with the toilet.!! By the time we set off home I realised that I really needed to go to the loo. We were passing a garden centre so I drove in and parked right near the ladies loos. Told him I would only be a minute and locked the car and went into the toilet. Just sat down and the car alarm went off.!!! I managed to wait till I got home.xxxx Marionq . You made me laugh so much. Glad you didn't have a stroke.xx

 

[marionq]

Casbow I was asked this morning where his rose was, at it had been much admired. However I was told that he slept all day apart from lunch which is very unusual so that suggests the hard time he gave me yesterday morning was due to some issue he was feeling.

Sometimes I think I should be wearing a big dunce's cap!

NK how are you doing?

 

[northumbrian_k]

Had to laugh this morning when my wife went into a shop to buy a birthday card for her granddaughter whilst I stayed outside with the dog. The first card looked fine until I realised it showed a child with a cigarette. She exchanged it for one with a crown on but that had the number 6 whereas the bairn will be 10 next week. Finally, after a 3rd foray into the shop she emerged with a unicorn.