I have already posted about this but this is an update on things. My MUm was in the Victoria Park Nursing Home, that is one of those announced for closure this month, so in December there resident nurse there gave me the name f a few homes that might be alternatives because Victoria Park was being emptied rapidly. Meanwhile, my sister, had the idea that she would bring Mum to live with her (and two children and dogs that have the run of the house. She was told by a care manager that it was not feasible. For a start, the authorities would not install or maintain a stair-life, and my Mum needs 24 hour supervision. I don't think it dawned on her that her life would be changed dramatically. So, on the nurse/care manager's advice, my Dad and I went and see the homes that the nurse recommended (Ihad also had to do that in June when my sister made promises she couldn't keep.). My sister said we were going behind her back, and he care manager agreed to see her. She didn't bother to turn-up at the meeting - that's how reliable she is. She said she would never forgive Dad or me for going behind he back, though that didn't last long, because she likes the new home, knows we were't doing anything behind her back and her idea was now totally unfeasible. I still gave them money for Christmas presents, but my sister said (they couldn't even wish me Happy Christmas) the children were ungrateful and I tore-up the cheques. Now, I'm getting blamed for that However, she still turned her niece and nephew (21 and 17) against me about the whole thing, and they won't forgive me. Then, yesterday, my nie ce arrived at the house to go down to see Mum. She moaned about why i wouldn't take Dad down (which would have meant two cars instead of one). She also mace lunch for Dad. He told me there was too much, and told me to east the rest. My niece said she had made it for him, not me, and I wasn't to eat it. This whole thing is hurting me, but heartbreaking to my dad. I have not done anything wrong in all of this, other than try to pick up the pieces and make sure that Mum had a place in a home. I think that my sister and nicece and nephew know that they are wrong and are trying to throw out hatred in my direction because they feel guilty and are ganging-up on me. They can't even be civil - and don't see to care what this is doing to my father's health. But that doesn't make me feel any better (I have tried to be such a good a generous uncle over the years and also been very supportive of my sister) and is heartbreaking to my dad. He has a small, split familiy on top of his love of 48 years having severe dementia. I have apologised (even though there's been very little for me to apologise for other then telling my sister her idea was mad and the authorities would not support it. All the guilt is on the other side. I really feel I wan to cut the three of them out of my life because they are making me so bad with their toxic behaviour - but i dwell on things, so don't know how to do that. I realise this is as much about family disputes as it is about demenetia, but know that such disputes are common with this awful illness, and would appreciate the perspectives of others. Thank you.