Hi, I'm new to this forum. My Auntie (who I was extremely close to) was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's at age 55, and has just passed away today, aged 62. The last 7 years have been a very hard time to deal with for all the family. I loved her so so much and I'm not sure how to even deal with her death. Even though she was bedbound for the last month she deteriorated quickly and although I've been preparing myself for the death, you can never be quite ready for when it actually happens. I'm just pleased she is no longer in pain and is now in peace. Does anyone have any tips/advice on how to cope with this? Thankyou.
Death of a close relative
- Thread starter Lozzab
- Start date
I think everyone deals with loss in their own way, @Lozzab, there is no right or wrong and it is early days for you.
When someone very close dies, they leave a big hole which cannot be filled. I find accepting the loss and knowing not to expect that hole to be filled makes sense for me.
I wouldn`t want my husband back to have him live through dementia again for anything so I just try to make the most of life without him. There are bad days and better days and I allow the bad days to make me feel as I do and am grateful for the good days.
This Forum is a great source of comfort for me. I feel I`m among friends who share my experiences. I hope you will continue to post, perhaps on the sub forum for dealing with loss and be comforted.
https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/forums/after-dementia-—-dealing-with-loss.28/
Wise words from @grannyG. This is not the premature death of a young healthy woman but the passing from a horrible illness into peace. It is what most of us want for our close ones and also for ourselves to give us peace of mind. Those left behind of course often struggle to cope with the memories of the illness as well as the loss.
Good wishes.
Good wishes.
I'm sorry to read of your loss @Lozzab. No matter how we think we are prepared for a loved one's death it's hard when the time comes.
It's true that your aunt has found peace but that doesn't make it any easier for you. Grief is a roller coaster of emotions and really you just have to let it happen. I'm thinking it might be even harder for you at this time of the year. Perhaps the information on this site may be oh some help to you -
https://www.cruse.org.uk/
It's true that your aunt has found peace but that doesn't make it any easier for you. Grief is a roller coaster of emotions and really you just have to let it happen. I'm thinking it might be even harder for you at this time of the year. Perhaps the information on this site may be oh some help to you -
https://www.cruse.org.uk/
Hello @Lozzab. I’m sorry to hear about your aunt at such a young age it seems so unfair.
Six years ago my aunt who I was very close to died of vascular dementia and pneumonia. She was almost twenty years older than your aunt but I’d expected her to make it until well into her nineties, as her mum had before her, so it was still a shock. She too died quickly so, although not unexpected, it was still a shock. I have to admit I still have times when I really really miss her.
In retrospect I’m telling myself I’m relieved she didn’t have to sink into the indignities of dementia in the way my dad has. She’s at peace as is your lovely aunt. Hang on to this.
It does get easier with time but the void doesn’t get filled. l think acceptance of this is an important part of the healing process. I find it particularly difficult at this time of year - the cold, the dark and the expectations of Christmas just make me miserable. My aunt was a light in my life and, in spite of the pain of loss, I’m pleased I knew her.
Not sure if this helps, but life moves on and there will be good days and good memories.
Six years ago my aunt who I was very close to died of vascular dementia and pneumonia. She was almost twenty years older than your aunt but I’d expected her to make it until well into her nineties, as her mum had before her, so it was still a shock. She too died quickly so, although not unexpected, it was still a shock. I have to admit I still have times when I really really miss her.
In retrospect I’m telling myself I’m relieved she didn’t have to sink into the indignities of dementia in the way my dad has. She’s at peace as is your lovely aunt. Hang on to this.
It does get easier with time but the void doesn’t get filled. l think acceptance of this is an important part of the healing process. I find it particularly difficult at this time of year - the cold, the dark and the expectations of Christmas just make me miserable. My aunt was a light in my life and, in spite of the pain of loss, I’m pleased I knew her.
Not sure if this helps, but life moves on and there will be good days and good memories.
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your aunt. It sounds like you had a very special relationship with her, which is a wonderful thing.
I had a beloved aunt who died at the age of 62 also, but of cancer, which she had battled for 10 years. She was my mother's youngest sister and had been a stalwart support to me in Mum's early AD days. She died in 2003 and I miss her still. But I do have many, many happy memories of her which help enormously. At some time, the good memories of your aunt as she was will come back and the dementia years will recede.
I had a beloved aunt who died at the age of 62 also, but of cancer, which she had battled for 10 years. She was my mother's youngest sister and had been a stalwart support to me in Mum's early AD days. She died in 2003 and I miss her still. But I do have many, many happy memories of her which help enormously. At some time, the good memories of your aunt as she was will come back and the dementia years will recede.
