Mum has a couple of lovely folk who are near neighbours and she's enjoyed great friendships with them over the years. Pre-dementia and even (looking back) in the early days of dementia, she was the one looking out for her friends, offering a sympathetic ear and helping them out where she could. The friends are really committed to keeping in touch with mum and definitely do care about her a great deal, but their behaviour now is bringing her down and I need to find a tactful way to address this with them. For example, mum struggles to follow conversation now, unless it is really simple and stays 'on topic'. I've noticed that if there is more then 1 other person in the room, she really can't follow a 3-way conversation and tends to switch off and get despondent and withdrawn very quickly - and that state of mind can then set in for the whole day. Friend A tends to call round and talk about her family, which is lovely for mum, except she has so many children, grandchildren and in-laws, that mum gets lost very quickly. If I'm there, I feel rude leaving the room, but I know if I join in the chat, mum will get really confused! Friend A is also one of those lovely people who rushes around doing so much for others and is always exhausted and busy - but she actually spends quite a bit of time telling everyone just how busy she is - in great and glowing detail! This means a 5-minute 'quick chat' is often more like an hour! Friend B has been through a tough time and is quite vulnerable. Again, his idea of 5 minutes is more like 55 minutes and once he gets going, he talks on and on about himself and his problems and tries to draw me into the conversation, so I'm left feeling I can't ignore him, but I can see Mum shutting down! I've tried to explain that Mum is very easily confused and gets very tired very quickly, but they just say, "Oh yes - we know that!" I did have a similar conversation with a cousin who used to call round when I was there, and talk for England about all her family problems, leaving Mum confused, upset and frustrated. Now she never comes, even though I tried so hard to broach it tactfully! Even in her darkest moments, mum is so 'old school' she can muster a friendly 'hello!' even when she honestly has no idea who she's talking to, so the people who end up dragging her down, often leave feeling they've done a grand job. I can't be the only one with this problem - what does everyone else do?