Hello, can I plead for advice?
We have been referred for 'enhanced daycare' and have attended the centre for a visit. Mum came across very well in the hour she was there, and it is now questioned why she wasn't referred for plain old daycare. There has been a lack of communication between all parties, leaving it to me to explain why we were there etc etc., and I feel at my wits'end this evening. We find out soon if Mum will be allowed to attend this centre. Incidentally, there were others there who I feel were FAR better than my Mum, though some a lot worse. Hard to tell in such a short time though.
She does not have advanced dementia, nor is it early. She relies on me for so much, would not survive alone. I ensure she showers, and she wouldn't change her clothes without prompting. She can hold a normal conversation, but never initiates one. Short-term memory is pretty bad, sometimes reduced to moments, long term is deteiorating. She will not leave her home unless asked.
At diagnosis, I was the one saying I would cope, no group, no daycare, no nursing home. Now, she attends her group, and loves it, and daycare is in the process of being arranged, perhaps. I now even see how a nursing home may be necessary in the future. Now I 'm asking for help, I'm made to feel as though I shouldn't be! Should I be?
Our children have really just left home for Uni, are drifting back one by one. I am concentrating more on my Mum than my children. She is a full tme job for both me and my husband.
I WANT to give up my life for her, she deserves no less, but what of my life? I was hoping to do both, but the people who have it in their power to help seem to be asking ME the questions, rather than taking some of the burden away, making me feel awful for wanting help
What am I saying here? I have no idea! I believe, from what I see, that Mum is definitely a stage 4, and perhaps stage 5 on this FAST scale. Or late early/early moderate. Are there any out there in the same stages? Am I just an incapable, complaining idiot, who should just accept it all and get on with it?
From a very distraught and depressed Lulu
We have been referred for 'enhanced daycare' and have attended the centre for a visit. Mum came across very well in the hour she was there, and it is now questioned why she wasn't referred for plain old daycare. There has been a lack of communication between all parties, leaving it to me to explain why we were there etc etc., and I feel at my wits'end this evening. We find out soon if Mum will be allowed to attend this centre. Incidentally, there were others there who I feel were FAR better than my Mum, though some a lot worse. Hard to tell in such a short time though.
She does not have advanced dementia, nor is it early. She relies on me for so much, would not survive alone. I ensure she showers, and she wouldn't change her clothes without prompting. She can hold a normal conversation, but never initiates one. Short-term memory is pretty bad, sometimes reduced to moments, long term is deteiorating. She will not leave her home unless asked.
At diagnosis, I was the one saying I would cope, no group, no daycare, no nursing home. Now, she attends her group, and loves it, and daycare is in the process of being arranged, perhaps. I now even see how a nursing home may be necessary in the future. Now I 'm asking for help, I'm made to feel as though I shouldn't be! Should I be?
Our children have really just left home for Uni, are drifting back one by one. I am concentrating more on my Mum than my children. She is a full tme job for both me and my husband.
I WANT to give up my life for her, she deserves no less, but what of my life? I was hoping to do both, but the people who have it in their power to help seem to be asking ME the questions, rather than taking some of the burden away, making me feel awful for wanting help
What am I saying here? I have no idea! I believe, from what I see, that Mum is definitely a stage 4, and perhaps stage 5 on this FAST scale. Or late early/early moderate. Are there any out there in the same stages? Am I just an incapable, complaining idiot, who should just accept it all and get on with it?
From a very distraught and depressed Lulu