Darkest Of nights

[Norrms]

The Darkest of Nights

(Discretion advised on this one, my dear friends)

I think we all fear at one time or another that when we go to bed we will never wake up. A startling statement I know, but last night I had one of my darkest nights ever and they do seem to be getting worse. I am not talking about having hallucination`s last night, or nightmares, but NIGHT TERRORS, and even worse one continuing night terror that went on for what seemed like hours. The person who said dreams last mere seconds is HUGELY MISTAKEN in my eyes because he / she doesn't see what I see!!
My night terror last night started with me being alone in a room with screaming coming from all sides. My best friend then walked in (he has long since passed) only to be followed by a huge dark Character wielding a long knife who started to attack him in the most grotesque way (I will leave the details out) I tried to stop him but it was far too late as I could see .then he turned on me attacking me again and again, i could see the damage he was doing but felt no pain, but the scene in front of my eyes was as bad as it gets.
I crawled out the door only to find I was stood on a market covered in blood and I was looking for someone I had lost, someone very close to me and dear but couldn't quite make out who it was. A work colleague from a different lifetime appeared at my side started to punch the wall before turning on me, the only way I could stop him was to grab him by the throat and hold him on the ground. So many hands were punching me now from above, grabbing me, pinching me, and their feet rained in hundreds of kicks, I was screaming for help but nobody came.
This and much worse happened next and I don't really want to give you all nightmares but this is just a small snapshot of my night terrors. Sometimes I am up and out of bed for hours before I come on the computer. Some have said I am (LUCKY) as some cannot function at all after having such bad nights, I say to them please don't use the word LUCKY as its so inappropriate to whats going on. fact is, some people are either farther down the road with this disease or have a different strain and yet the same type of dementia, please believe me when I say at NO TIME do I feel "LUCKY" at any time.
Yes I have taken all medication to stop these and yes I know all about the herbal side of it, but NOTHING STOPS them, how can they ?? how can they possibly invent a tablet that stops you dreaming ????? Answers on a very big postcard please.. The worrying thing was I used to wake up many times a night having different ones but lately, I seem to be "locked In" a night terror which seems to go on and on.
Do I fear one day I will not wake up? I have to say that sometimes i think that death would be a blessing compared to this, but my biggest fear ????
Is one long continuous night terror when AND IF dementia finally wins the fight and takes over my mind.
Still, I am here TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY
Norrms
Diagnosed with Alzheimer's 10 years ago but re-diagnosed with Lewy Bodys dementia five years ago
Please hare BUT only if you want too

 

[carolynp]

The Darkest of Nights

(Discretion advised on this one, my dear friends)

I think we all fear at one time or another that when we go to bed we will never wake up. A startling statement I know, but last night I had one of my darkest nights ever and they do seem to be getting worse. I am not talking about having hallucination`s last night, or nightmares, but NIGHT TERRORS, and even worse one continuing night terror that went on for what seemed like hours. The person who said dreams last mere seconds is HUGELY MISTAKEN in my eyes because he / she doesn't see what I see!!
My night terror last night started with me being alone in a room with screaming coming from all sides. My best friend then walked in (he has long since passed) only to be followed by a huge dark Character wielding a long knife who started to attack him in the most grotesque way (I will leave the details out) I tried to stop him but it was far too late as I could see .then he turned on me attacking me again and again, i could see the damage he was doing but felt no pain, but the scene in front of my eyes was as bad as it gets.
I crawled out the door only to find I was stood on a market covered in blood and I was looking for someone I had lost, someone very close to me and dear but couldn't quite make out who it was. A work colleague from a different lifetime appeared at my side started to punch the wall before turning on me, the only way I could stop him was to grab him by the throat and hold him on the ground. So many hands were punching me now from above, grabbing me, pinching me, and their feet rained in hundreds of kicks, I was screaming for help but nobody came.
This and much worse happened next and I don't really want to give you all nightmares but this is just a small snapshot of my night terrors. Sometimes I am up and out of bed for hours before I come on the computer. Some have said I am (LUCKY) as some cannot function at all after having such bad nights, I say to them please don't use the word LUCKY as its so inappropriate to whats going on. fact is, some people are either farther down the road with this disease or have a different strain and yet the same type of dementia, please believe me when I say at NO TIME do I feel "LUCKY" at any time.
Yes I have taken all medication to stop these and yes I know all about the herbal side of it, but NOTHING STOPS them, how can they ?? how can they possibly invent a tablet that stops you dreaming ????? Answers on a very big postcard please.. The worrying thing was I used to wake up many times a night having different ones but lately, I seem to be "locked In" a night terror which seems to go on and on.
Do I fear one day I will not wake up? I have to say that sometimes i think that death would be a blessing compared to this, but my biggest fear ????
Is one long continuous night terror when AND IF dementia finally wins the fight and takes over my mind.
Still, I am here TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY
Norrms
Diagnosed with Alzheimer's 10 years ago but re-diagnosed with Lewy Bodys dementia five years ago
Please hare BUT only if you want too

Dear Norrms,

What a horrendous series of experiences to be having. You describe them so vividly and it is truly frightening even just reading them. I am so sorry.

I liked your line about answers on a LARGE postcard!

I am wondering whether poetry may help you redirect these ghastly experiences away from the night time and force them into the daylight in a less frightening way. In your poem, “Hurting”, which I’ve just re-read, you certainly allude to your night terrors. But what I have in mind is something more direct, where you perhaps speak in the voice of the night terrors themselves? E.g. “I am what frightens Norrms at night ... “. “ I am that which deprives him of rest ... “. As you can see, dear Norrms, I am not a poet! I include these lines just to make plain what I’m trying to say. It’s a long shot, but, given that you are a poet, using your gift in this way may provide you with the help you need to defuse these bombardments assailing your nights.

My only other thought is a therapy which I have started using for anxiety. It has helped me greatly. I have a physio who uses hypnosis, and in her sessions, which combine relaxation exercises with a light trance state via suggestion, I have found myself able to attain a deeper state of relaxation in my body than hitherto. I was very resistant to the notion of hypnosis, and I am very wary of suggesting such an outlandish thing, but you sound to me to be at your wits’ end, and so I mention it just in case.

Thinking of you in this terrible situation and hoping that something may be proposed on TP which can give you relief.

Your friend, Carolyn.

 

[Norrms]

Thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[maryjoan]

The Darkest of Nights

(Discretion advised on this one, my dear friends)

I think we all fear at one time or another that when we go to bed we will never wake up. A startling statement I know, but last night I had one of my darkest nights ever and they do seem to be getting worse. I am not talking about having hallucination`s last night, or nightmares, but NIGHT TERRORS, and even worse one continuing night terror that went on for what seemed like hours. The person who said dreams last mere seconds is HUGELY MISTAKEN in my eyes because he / she doesn't see what I see!!
My night terror last night started with me being alone in a room with screaming coming from all sides. My best friend then walked in (he has long since passed) only to be followed by a huge dark Character wielding a long knife who started to attack him in the most grotesque way (I will leave the details out) I tried to stop him but it was far too late as I could see .then he turned on me attacking me again and again, i could see the damage he was doing but felt no pain, but the scene in front of my eyes was as bad as it gets.
I crawled out the door only to find I was stood on a market covered in blood and I was looking for someone I had lost, someone very close to me and dear but couldn't quite make out who it was. A work colleague from a different lifetime appeared at my side started to punch the wall before turning on me, the only way I could stop him was to grab him by the throat and hold him on the ground. So many hands were punching me now from above, grabbing me, pinching me, and their feet rained in hundreds of kicks, I was screaming for help but nobody came.
This and much worse happened next and I don't really want to give you all nightmares but this is just a small snapshot of my night terrors. Sometimes I am up and out of bed for hours before I come on the computer. Some have said I am (LUCKY) as some cannot function at all after having such bad nights, I say to them please don't use the word LUCKY as its so inappropriate to whats going on. fact is, some people are either farther down the road with this disease or have a different strain and yet the same type of dementia, please believe me when I say at NO TIME do I feel "LUCKY" at any time.
Yes I have taken all medication to stop these and yes I know all about the herbal side of it, but NOTHING STOPS them, how can they ?? how can they possibly invent a tablet that stops you dreaming ????? Answers on a very big postcard please.. The worrying thing was I used to wake up many times a night having different ones but lately, I seem to be "locked In" a night terror which seems to go on and on.
Do I fear one day I will not wake up? I have to say that sometimes i think that death would be a blessing compared to this, but my biggest fear ????
Is one long continuous night terror when AND IF dementia finally wins the fight and takes over my mind.
Still, I am here TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY
Norrms
Diagnosed with Alzheimer's 10 years ago but re-diagnosed with Lewy Bodys dementia five years ago
Please hare BUT only if you want too

I also have vicious nasty dreams and have done for as long as I can remember. My parents put it down to too much reading and too much imagination. The Thomas the Tank Engine trains used to chase me ( didn't need tracks) so they could suck me down their chimneys and burn me on their fires - this was when I was about 8.

I did notice that they got very much worse when the doctor put me on statins.

I am now on a different statin and whilst they are still bad they are bearable when I tell myself before I go to bed, that it is only an adventure, they type of which will never happen in real life, and 'bring it on'..

I only tell you this just in case you are also on statins......

 

[Norrms]

Thank you my friend and no i am not xxxxxxx

 

[Rolypoly]

Oh Norrms, I don’t know what to say. Having the odd bad dream is bad enough but to have dreams as intense as yours must be so draining as well as frightening. Thankfully you are still here to fight another day so try and stay strong. Would confronting the dreams through poetry help, as suggested by @carolynp?

 

[Tin]

That sounds awful. In the early days my mum had a few bad dreams and a lot of body jerking and talking went with them. So I was able to wake her from whatever nightmare she was having, usually when she went back to sleep, all was fine.

Really hope they disappear for you sooner rather than later.

 

[Hazara8]

The Darkest of Nights

(Discretion advised on this one, my dear friends)

I think we all fear at one time or another that when we go to bed we will never wake up. A startling statement I know, but last night I had one of my darkest nights ever and they do seem to be getting worse. I am not talking about having hallucination`s last night, or nightmares, but NIGHT TERRORS, and even worse one continuing night terror that went on for what seemed like hours. The person who said dreams last mere seconds is HUGELY MISTAKEN in my eyes because he / she doesn't see what I see!!
My night terror last night started with me being alone in a room with screaming coming from all sides. My best friend then walked in (he has long since passed) only to be followed by a huge dark Character wielding a long knife who started to attack him in the most grotesque way (I will leave the details out) I tried to stop him but it was far too late as I could see .then he turned on me attacking me again and again, i could see the damage he was doing but felt no pain, but the scene in front of my eyes was as bad as it gets.
I crawled out the door only to find I was stood on a market covered in blood and I was looking for someone I had lost, someone very close to me and dear but couldn't quite make out who it was. A work colleague from a different lifetime appeared at my side started to punch the wall before turning on me, the only way I could stop him was to grab him by the throat and hold him on the ground. So many hands were punching me now from above, grabbing me, pinching me, and their feet rained in hundreds of kicks, I was screaming for help but nobody came.
This and much worse happened next and I don't really want to give you all nightmares but this is just a small snapshot of my night terrors. Sometimes I am up and out of bed for hours before I come on the computer. Some have said I am (LUCKY) as some cannot function at all after having such bad nights, I say to them please don't use the word LUCKY as its so inappropriate to whats going on. fact is, some people are either farther down the road with this disease or have a different strain and yet the same type of dementia, please believe me when I say at NO TIME do I feel "LUCKY" at any time.
Yes I have taken all medication to stop these and yes I know all about the herbal side of it, but NOTHING STOPS them, how can they ?? how can they possibly invent a tablet that stops you dreaming ????? Answers on a very big postcard please.. The worrying thing was I used to wake up many times a night having different ones but lately, I seem to be "locked In" a night terror which seems to go on and on.
Do I fear one day I will not wake up? I have to say that sometimes i think that death would be a blessing compared to this, but my biggest fear ????
Is one long continuous night terror when AND IF dementia finally wins the fight and takes over my mind.
Still, I am here TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY
Norrms
Diagnosed with Alzheimer's 10 years ago but re-diagnosed with Lewy Bodys dementia five years ago
Please hare BUT only if you want too

A courageous post and a remarkable one. Alzheimer's 10 years, Lewy bodies 5 years - and yet a clear and dramatic re-telling of disturbing dreams or nightmares. Something which would not usually be possible after such a long period of time since diagnosis. We know that DLB (Dementia with Lewy Bodies) presents with hallucinations, somewhat akin to Parkinsonian-type presentations and the latter can be markedly so in content, even in waking states. You will, I feel sure, know all about the thalamus and REM sleep disorder, having lived with both these dementias for such a long time. I have read about Mementine, Clonazepam and Melatonin and other medications, which you will have probably seen or heard about and in fact I suspect you are already a good authority on this whole topic, but saying so does not help you in your quest. The brain is complex, extraordinary and constantly being investigated in respect of medications which might remedy these severe outcomes. I expect you have tried sleeping at different times? Is it only at night that these dreams occur? I am still genuinely amazed that you have set down such a clear and concise post, despite Alzheimer's.

As a small child. I had frequent nightmares and they were bad enough for me to need my father holding my hand until I settled - sometimes he would need to do that for hours. Something I never forgot. Yes, they were only 'dreams'and as with yourself, not real at all. The daylight brought 'reality' back and a sense of relief .. until the next night. Strangely, when older I could - at times - confront a nightmare, whilst having it and say 'I don 't care, this is not real!' But I greatly appreciate your predicament and the fact that you have been experiencing this challenging occurrence for some time and yet to set this account before us so vividly and in such a way, can only invite responses, both in admiration, but more important - in finding possible ways to resolve the situation, from whatever quarter. With warmest wishes.