Maybe, Softy, that is your way of dealing with it - or your body's way of telling you you can't just yet? As long as you can afford not to work - don't - catch up with sleep when you can ..... function at minimum level (it's quite an eye-opener realising the house doesn't fall down because you haven't dusted for a fortnight!) ..
and is the daughter there for support no, I dont want to be with her at all what is the matter with me.
It took me years after my dad died to face going to 'their' house unless it was absolutely essential ... just couldn't cope with him not being there .... I wonder if it's something similar with your not wanting to be with mum just now? And I do know - sometimes people who are each grieving in their own ways don't do the best for each other ..... and can have quite the opposite effect?
Don't beat yourself about not being there for other people - you need to look after yourself first .. you might even find your mum needs her own 'space' too? And I bet as much as you are worrying about mum, she will be worrying about you and may not be able to express that herself either? If you could bring that into the open it might do you both good - but only you know you, and your mum, as to whether that's a good idea ........
There is a great hole in my life where caring for Dad used to be and now nothing.
What I find so significant about your post - as many who find ourselves in this section express - is 'the void' ...... I wish it could help anyone else starting out on their unique journeys to learn not to lose sight of everything else but the caring ..... I doubt it .... the intensity and the impact throughout the family, whatever our role has been, is something perhaps we can only ever realise once we reach this point?
Sending love, Karen, x