My Mum and Dad moved in with us a couple of years ago as they were struggling after Dads stroke. Unfortunately Mum died last year from pulmonary fibrosis - we only got a diagnosis a few weeks before she died. Just before Christmas Dad seemed very off with us but as I had seen his moods change with my Mum I didn’t really say anything (he could be quite nasty to her) as he usually settled down. Christmas Day was awful he accused me of lying to him for 30 years but wouldn’t explain about what, my husbands daughter visited us and he called her the most awful names (he saw her a few weeks before and there was no problem). Ended up with him having his dinner on his own. He told me he wished I were dead. Since then he won’t speak to us, just sits in his room, or goes in the garden for a walk - but he just acts as if we are not there. Once or twice when he has needed help he will talk but once everything is sorted he just stops talking. He mentioned Christmas to me the other week and berated me for having ‘those people’ in the house, called me a liar and said I don’t like you. I have been to see the doctor and have made an appointment for him to see him. In the mean time I just feel really upset and helpless - he spends all his time on his own. Now I look back I can see that he has been experiencing mood swings for a while and they make him nasty. He also won’t let me wash his clothes, he washes them (sort of) in the shower. He will also dry a plate, wipe down surfaces and the floor all with the same cloth! I understand that he is probably suffering from depression but I am also wondering if he has mild vascular dementia. Just wondering if any of this sounds familiar
Dad won’t talk to us
- Thread starter Splash17
- Start date
hello @Splash17
a warm welcome from me too
sorry to read of your mum's death; my condolences - I guess you and your dad miss her greatly
all sorts of things could be going on with your dad - and you are clearly very concerned, so a good idea to get him to chat with his GP
you say you've already spoken to the GP - maybe also, before the appointment, write out a list of all your dad's behaviours, all your concerns, and how he has changed from 1,2,3 years ago, especially those everyday tasks he's not doing for himself, then send that to the GP to read - your info will be noted on your dad's records, even if the GP isn't able to discuss with you due to patient confidentiality
I hope you get to go in with your dad, if so, try to sit so you are out of his eyeline but the GP can see you - then you can signal to the GP if your dad isn't quite telling it like it is
you mention your dad had a stroke - this page from the main AS site may be of interest
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20007/types_of_dementia/5/vascular_dementia
it may be tricky having your dad sharing your home but at least it does mean that you have the chance to see how he is and support, even if he resists your help - not easy for you
do let us know how the appointment goes
a warm welcome from me too
sorry to read of your mum's death; my condolences - I guess you and your dad miss her greatly
all sorts of things could be going on with your dad - and you are clearly very concerned, so a good idea to get him to chat with his GP
you say you've already spoken to the GP - maybe also, before the appointment, write out a list of all your dad's behaviours, all your concerns, and how he has changed from 1,2,3 years ago, especially those everyday tasks he's not doing for himself, then send that to the GP to read - your info will be noted on your dad's records, even if the GP isn't able to discuss with you due to patient confidentiality
I hope you get to go in with your dad, if so, try to sit so you are out of his eyeline but the GP can see you - then you can signal to the GP if your dad isn't quite telling it like it is
you mention your dad had a stroke - this page from the main AS site may be of interest
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20007/types_of_dementia/5/vascular_dementia
it may be tricky having your dad sharing your home but at least it does mean that you have the chance to see how he is and support, even if he resists your help - not easy for you
do let us know how the appointment goes
