Hello I found this forum after really struggling to understand my own feelings about my dads dementia.
I am 23 and my dad was diagnosed with dementia when I turned 17 and for the past few years he has been unable to dress himself, feed himself, can’t talk much and also struggles with many other health issues. My family is a slightly unusual set up with my parents having a 26 year age gap between them so my mum is turning 60 this year and my dad will be turning 86.
My dad has been in hospital for the past 6 weeks, meaning he missed Christmas this year, and I’m really struggling with the guilt of feeling angry. I feel so guilty than I am angry I’m in this position when I am lucky my dad is here but I am angry about how my mum is unable to work and is now his full time carer , my dad has never understood when I got my drivers license, when I got my dream job etc. I only moved out 6 months ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever done, I always cared for him half the time but I felt like I needed some kind of freedom (I still look after him 4 ish days a fortnight). It’s difficult to explain to others as I feel as though I’ve started to grieve my dad in so many ways, I’ve hardly known him not having dementia and I feel like most of my memories of him he doesn’t understand that I’m his daughter, he’s had sepsis multiple times and doctors have told us to say our goodbyes multiple times over the past few years.
I’m not really sure how to get through these feelings of guilt and anger but reading other people’s stories on this forum has really helped me a lot so I wanted to add my story on here too.
I am 23 and my dad was diagnosed with dementia when I turned 17 and for the past few years he has been unable to dress himself, feed himself, can’t talk much and also struggles with many other health issues. My family is a slightly unusual set up with my parents having a 26 year age gap between them so my mum is turning 60 this year and my dad will be turning 86.
My dad has been in hospital for the past 6 weeks, meaning he missed Christmas this year, and I’m really struggling with the guilt of feeling angry. I feel so guilty than I am angry I’m in this position when I am lucky my dad is here but I am angry about how my mum is unable to work and is now his full time carer , my dad has never understood when I got my drivers license, when I got my dream job etc. I only moved out 6 months ago and it was the hardest thing I have ever done, I always cared for him half the time but I felt like I needed some kind of freedom (I still look after him 4 ish days a fortnight). It’s difficult to explain to others as I feel as though I’ve started to grieve my dad in so many ways, I’ve hardly known him not having dementia and I feel like most of my memories of him he doesn’t understand that I’m his daughter, he’s had sepsis multiple times and doctors have told us to say our goodbyes multiple times over the past few years.
I’m not really sure how to get through these feelings of guilt and anger but reading other people’s stories on this forum has really helped me a lot so I wanted to add my story on here too.