My Mum was finally admitted to a nursing home earlier this year after spending almost five months in hospital. Since then Dad has been increasingly lonely as he doesn’t have any friends or hobbies. Apart from my husband and I there’s no one else who visits. He and Mum were totally co dependent on each other.
Dad has eyesight problems but can manage on public transport and does his own shopping and prepares basic meals in the microwave or oven. He doesn’t do any cleaning, laundry or tend to the moderate sized garden. Post is left for me to sort out when I visit. I’ve been visiting every 4-5 weeks so there’s a lot to do when I’m there. We also visit my Mum during this time. Dad doesn’t see her otherwise as he refuses to pay for a taxi and he never phones the home either. Last time we went I came away feeling absolutely exhausted and it was fortunate I had some annual leave from work afterwards. I’m already working extra hours to pay for the cost of the petrol and the fact I have to take a day off work for travelling.
How can I persuade my Dad that he really needs a cleaner and someone to help keep the garden tidy. I actually feel I’m the unpaid cleaner, taxi driver and personal assistant all rolled into one. Dad has enough money but just won’t spend it. The sumner period is always a busy one for me and my husband and and there’s going to be periods where the time between visits is longer which is why I want Dad to see that I can’t do everything.
Dad has eyesight problems but can manage on public transport and does his own shopping and prepares basic meals in the microwave or oven. He doesn’t do any cleaning, laundry or tend to the moderate sized garden. Post is left for me to sort out when I visit. I’ve been visiting every 4-5 weeks so there’s a lot to do when I’m there. We also visit my Mum during this time. Dad doesn’t see her otherwise as he refuses to pay for a taxi and he never phones the home either. Last time we went I came away feeling absolutely exhausted and it was fortunate I had some annual leave from work afterwards. I’m already working extra hours to pay for the cost of the petrol and the fact I have to take a day off work for travelling.
How can I persuade my Dad that he really needs a cleaner and someone to help keep the garden tidy. I actually feel I’m the unpaid cleaner, taxi driver and personal assistant all rolled into one. Dad has enough money but just won’t spend it. The sumner period is always a busy one for me and my husband and and there’s going to be periods where the time between visits is longer which is why I want Dad to see that I can’t do everything.
