Hi
@KathrynAnne I couldn't post for a while, it has all been too upsetting and overwhelming. I have been following your post 'Feeling a bit overwhelmed' and I really appreciate that you have thought about me when you have so much to contend with yourself. You are obviously a very kind person with a lot of strength and I admire how you are caring for your mum.
I have lost track of the days and time since dad's admittance on Sunday morning. I think he pulled out his canula on Sunday night and had to have a pint of blood on the Monday. He was relatively ok on Monday afternoon and evening but slightly more confused and still unable to stand.
I went in on Tuesday to find that he had been moved to another ward and was extremely agitated and probably delirious. Apparently I had plotted to have him moved and was trying to kill him to get his money. The way he looked at me was just awful, then my brother turned up and he was in on the plot too so I was grateful for that at least. Dad accused us or mainly me of all sorts of ridiculous things, it was really upsetting. The only one he would believe was my SIL I know it is because of the infection and not knowing where he is but it is still hurtful. Of course he has forgotten all about that now.
We left soon after as he had calmed down as we thought it best but we were called back in later the same evening as dad was having breathing problems. It was dreadful, he looked so small and white and I truly thought he was dying, his breathing was terrible. I just didn't know what to do. It was heartbreaking to watch him and I couldn't stop crying. Then he kind of recovered and he was completely delirious. I won't go into it but it was horrible. My brother and I had to stay all night just to keep him on his bed. He was going to walk home but of course he couldn't stand.
He was given two sedatives that didn't seem to work and finally fell asleep when everyone else was waking up. I was completely wiped out with emotions everywhere.
Went back yesterday twice and he looked much better and they think he had had a heart attack during the previous horrible night so another thing to add. He had another unit of blood along with the intravenous antibiotics twice a day. Last night I slept like a log and apparently dad was not too much trouble.
Today he looks like a new man, He looks bigger, more like he normally does. He has a nice new walking frame and ate his dinner. Smiling, sitting upright in a chair wearing his nice clean clothes and brand new pants and socks. I can't believe the change, he is also very happy with his new cabin and crew and expects the ship to be underway soon. He is looking forward to his cruise.
In the last few days I have broken my heart because he is dying, I have wished that he would die just for it to be over, I have been relieved that he didn't die because he is such a lovely man and I don't know what to make of it all. I know that it is all a bit much.
One good thing, I think my brother and I are on the same page at last and he has seen what he may have to contend with if dad does goes home. At least dad is still continent but anything could change at any time.
I will wait and see what tomorrow brings and hope for the best.
Have a lovely night out with your husband on Saturday.