1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. lizziejayne

    lizziejayne Registered User

    Sep 25, 2015
    my widower dad has been living in a independant living flat for 2 years its run by the council and is warden assisted
    he has been diagnosed with dementia and gone downhill fast in recent weeks
    he is 87 and keeps foregtting things, he can rememebr everything from years ago, but not 10 mins ago
    he s lost his wallet twice has been hallucinating getting agressive, he has a carer 3 times a day to make sure he eats and takes his medicines

    he has recently been ringing up 111 and 999 asking them to take him shopping

    the council are charging him for everything since he left his house, still on the market after 2 years very rundown and not worth much
    the place charges my dad 176 aw eek rent plus all bills, care charges etc on top and make him have a cleaner too he is unable to do much now for himself. has a electric buggy
    since he has been there he has lost 30k due to more outgoings that in comings
    im the only child and executor of his will and he wants me to have whats left,i believe they are fleecing him of his money by charging him even for food

    im currently applying for lpa and the solicitor says it will cost by dad 600 if they think he is still menatally capalble

    the housing officer there hinted that soon i should start looking for a nursing home

    i do not want a care home to take whats left of his money its not fair or right and its my inheritence his money would only last maybe couple of months anyway
    can he qualify for nhs continuing care so he can get all care for free?
    he has 2 pensions
    or is the best option to make him live with me, that way no one can steal his money or pensions
    what are my rights and what can i do?
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Welcome to TP Lizziejayne.
  3. ElizabethAnn

    ElizabethAnn Registered User

    Jan 4, 2014
    North Hampshire
    Lizziejane, welcome to TP.

    Your post covers quite a lot of topics... I have tried to point you to the official pages for the relevant subjects below.

    Has your Dad had an assessment from his social worker ?


    Is he claiming all the benefits due to him?


    Rather than pay a solicitor to do the LPA, you can do it online


    It's lovely that your Dad wants to pass on his money to you. However, it is it still his money and if he has over £23,250 (I think) he will need to pay for at least some of his care. His unsold house will count towards this figure if it is in his sole name.


    You mention Continuing Health Care, from the information you have given I think it is unlikely that he is at this stage.


    You also mention having your Dad come and live with you. This is an option, but not to be taken lightly. As dementia progresses, i's a 24 hour job taking care of sufferers and both emotionally and physically exhausting when it's a loved one that you are looking after.

    There is a lot of support on this forum, so please do continue to post...

  4. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    North West
    Have a good look at the posts from the many members who have a person with dementia living with them. As ElizabethAnn implies it's no picnic even when the person with dementia has chosen to follow this course. And the solicitor is saying that he may still be 'mentally capable'. In those circumstances, you might be on very dodgy ground if you made him come to live with you. Presumably, the suggestion that you should start looking for a care home for him is based on the belief that his needs will be better met in that situation than they are being met currently. From all that you have told us, that seems quite likely.

    There's a lot for us to think about when considering the futures of our nearest and dearest.
  5. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    stoke on trent
    Welcome lizziejane.. Sorry I'm not too knowledgeable about what financial help you could get I have my dad living with me.. He gets higher rate attendance Allowance and I get carers allowance these benefits may help your financial matters but please think long and hard before you make the decision to have your dad live with you... Your life will no longer be your own and if like my dad has the dementia proggreses he may not sleep at night so am constantly exhausted you will also have to think about if he becomes incontinent and may need help cleaning himself.. The list is endless I don't want to put you off the idea but am trying to make you aware of what you could possibly be facing as I am sure many other carers will do. Please think long and hard.. Best of luck exhausted 2015 xx

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