Dad driving me potty about clothes

[Selinacroft]

Dad has lost a lot of weigh and his Old PJs and trousers were XL or 44inch waist. He's gone down to 34 inch waist feeling too loose now.
Whatever I buy it is too loose or too tight. The old ones are too loose and drop off despite being taken in once or twice. New ones that fit perfectly are too tight (not) and need a pull chord. Bought tie on trousers for PJs and they don't feel right- too big!
Dad is walking round half naked asking for trousers and whatever I give him comes off before long and another half hour of moaning. Spent this afternoon ironing on name labels to new PJs and then he delclares they don't fit and he hates them

Give me strength!!!

Same saga with trousers

Jumpers are too big, too tight, no sleeves, sleeves are too long, too hot, not warm enough, can't get them on by himself (everything)

I am now being called again to re do his trousers up. I feel frazzled and he keeps telling me I never help.

 

[Floweryfoo]

Just the same with our Lily. We keep buying tights for her and trousers. Bring them. They apparently don't fit or she doesn't like them, for various reasons. She puts them in the drawer. Then the next day:

'I think I need some new tights and trousers.'

We've now adopted the broken record approach of, 'We got some new tights for you. Shall we look together?' Ad infinitum. Incredibly annoying!

 

[CarerForMum]

My mum is like this, the waistband is wrong, the length is wrong, too big, too small. I tried taking her shopping oh my word - the department store - thankfully had a large changing room as she kept stepping out of the room half naked so I went in with her. Again nothing fitted. Went in with 8 items and left the store with 0.

She's lost a lot of weight, so in the end I bought a new load of clothes, tops, trousers, underwear, pjs etc without her, she looks at the size - they will be too small, I explain mum you are now a 12/14 not 16/18. 'if you say so'. Grrrr they all fit perfectly but she's now complaining trousers are too short or too long, sleeves are too long. There's always a reason why they aren't right. Oh the one thing that she was happy with - her new dressing gown

 

[Selinacroft]

Just been called back by Dad to say he has lost a slipper- yep that's right -both present and correct on the end of his legs.

 

[istherelight?]

And to add to the mix, my Mum doesn't recognise any new clothes. She thinks they have been put in her wardrobe by other CH residents (OK, not as unlikely as it sounds!) When I show her the label with her name on she is certain that people are simply "doing that as well".


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[Amy in the US]

Selinacroft, sorry to hear of your difficulty with clothes. It seems that with dementia, it's always something.

My mother goes through phases where she has some sort of sensory difficulty (whether it's taking in the information, or processing it, I don't know, but her brain sure doesn't work properly) and perceives or feels things differently. She can't explain what the problem is in a way I can understand, and she is losing vocabulary which doesn't help, but clearly things don't feel "right" to her. The trousers are too tight or too loose, the blanket or towel is "too heavy," the socks are usually removed, and she also has told me about lost shoes when she is wearing them!

I also get a lot of complaints about her not liking the color of her trousers, or rejecting a top as "not hers," when she will happily wear her neighbor's clothes (in colors and patterns she would never have considered pre-dementia). She will re-wear soiled clothing as she can't see, smell, or tell, that it's dirty.

Mercifully she seems to no longer be able to read the clothing tags, as she would reject things as "being too big." She sees herself as the slender person she used to be, not the, er, much larger person she is now, and she used to reject all the new trousers and tops I'd bring her as the wrong size until I got the idea to remove the tags with the sizes or mark over them.

I don't announce items as new any longer; I just say "this was in the laundry" or put it in her closet and don't say anything. She hasn't been shopping in years and there's no chance of taking her now!

If possible, you might consider labeling clothes with a fabric marker. It's a lot quicker than ironing in tags and then at least you haven't spent so much time on it. I buy all the same types of socks-only one kind, that is to say-so it doesn't matter if any go missing and/or how they get paired up.

It's so hard when you can't get it right, whether for real or just in the eyes in dementia. I feel for you!