Hi, I am 38yrs old and have an elderly Gran. There has been a rapid decline in her "state" over the last 4 years. I live 400 miles away so don't see her very often, therefore the differences each time is very obvious to me. She no longer recognises my husband and at first when I visit I am a stranger. My Aunt who is single is her only carer, although she is lucky to have support from close friends and cousins. The problem is my Father...
He always says "Gran is fine" doesn't seem to notice how bad she has got. When I have mentioned things she has said or done he dismisses it. Unsure if he is selfish or just in denial.
This causes the problem that my Aunt is left solely responsible for my Gran. She is exhausted, frustrated and constantly trying to do the right thing. She is a proud lady and recently surprised me by admitting how much she was struggling. Many chats with my Dad I have tried to speak about it but the conversation is changed almost instantly.
I have tried speaking in many ways and even to the extreme that he may want to spend a day looking at care homes because if anything happens to my Aunt then that's where Gran will end up. Still no reaction. He criticises my Aunt and offers no help whatsoever. Not even support. My Aunt is trying her best and I truly believe she has given up on my Dad ever accepting it so she doesn't even try with him.
Sorry this is a lengthy one... all new to me on here. Anyone any experience or suggestions on how to get the message across. Harsh reality is we are losing my Gran, his mother to this and he is becoming the son who doesn't seem to care. Any suggestions welcome xx
He always says "Gran is fine" doesn't seem to notice how bad she has got. When I have mentioned things she has said or done he dismisses it. Unsure if he is selfish or just in denial.
This causes the problem that my Aunt is left solely responsible for my Gran. She is exhausted, frustrated and constantly trying to do the right thing. She is a proud lady and recently surprised me by admitting how much she was struggling. Many chats with my Dad I have tried to speak about it but the conversation is changed almost instantly.
I have tried speaking in many ways and even to the extreme that he may want to spend a day looking at care homes because if anything happens to my Aunt then that's where Gran will end up. Still no reaction. He criticises my Aunt and offers no help whatsoever. Not even support. My Aunt is trying her best and I truly believe she has given up on my Dad ever accepting it so she doesn't even try with him.
Sorry this is a lengthy one... all new to me on here. Anyone any experience or suggestions on how to get the message across. Harsh reality is we are losing my Gran, his mother to this and he is becoming the son who doesn't seem to care. Any suggestions welcome xx