Autumn16, thanks for the reply! It's a curious thing how different people respond to these issues. My Dad has never been that much bothered by the variety of different faces that used to show up back when he still had day-care visitors, he just seemed grateful for the company, which made it all the more a shame that they could barely stay more than 15 mins each time. One thing I did was setup a whiteboard with name reminders of key people and this certainly helped, one would see him looking at it to remind him of who's who. A year ago I talked with his GP and we came up with the idea of a mugshots board of relevant people, an even more effective way of being able to match names to faces; the GP thought it was a grand idea, and the SS boss agreed, but it just never got off the ground (no idea why; perhaps it would work better if it was something I organised and just made it voluntary). I'll revisit this assuming he does return home.
I know my mother though would have found not being able to remember names & suchlike much more annoying, ditto being unable to manage finances (indeed that's what happened way back, but I didn't know about it at the time; a lot of unnecessary clothing and other items were bought from catalogues, most never used; now I have the task of selling them off). As you say, everyone is different.
I'm glad your Mum is in a safe environment now, that must have been a relief to observe that she was no longer scared. I think my Dad was too but didn't want to admit it, he'd put on a brave face, etc.
While he is recovering and regaining strength in a care home, I have employed a private therapist to visit him weekly, at present more as a friendly face and someone to talk to in general rather than any actual therapy (especially bereavement counseling, this has undoubtedly been an issue for a long time since my Mum passed away three years ago), that can wait until later when he's back home and strong enough, and in the meantime the therapist can get to know my Dad, build up a level of trust, etc., and he's also very good at coming up with ideas and activities, things I wouldn't think of, eg. most recently that of taking in an Airfix kit and helping my Dad put it together (he used to be an engineer), which of course had to be risk assessed and all that, but the care home said it would be ok. I also figured it may be easier for him to talk to someone who isn't family about the difficult issues. Btw, in theory the NHS ought to be able to offer such counseling, but there's very little in the way of mental health care provision on the island; back in Sept. it took three weeks to organise a CPN visit and the person had to come from the mainland (ferry cancellations due to bad weather extended the delay). Again, the nature of island life compounds these issues in ways retirees don't realise when they first move to such places.
Boromir.
I know my mother though would have found not being able to remember names & suchlike much more annoying, ditto being unable to manage finances (indeed that's what happened way back, but I didn't know about it at the time; a lot of unnecessary clothing and other items were bought from catalogues, most never used; now I have the task of selling them off). As you say, everyone is different.
I'm glad your Mum is in a safe environment now, that must have been a relief to observe that she was no longer scared. I think my Dad was too but didn't want to admit it, he'd put on a brave face, etc.
While he is recovering and regaining strength in a care home, I have employed a private therapist to visit him weekly, at present more as a friendly face and someone to talk to in general rather than any actual therapy (especially bereavement counseling, this has undoubtedly been an issue for a long time since my Mum passed away three years ago), that can wait until later when he's back home and strong enough, and in the meantime the therapist can get to know my Dad, build up a level of trust, etc., and he's also very good at coming up with ideas and activities, things I wouldn't think of, eg. most recently that of taking in an Airfix kit and helping my Dad put it together (he used to be an engineer), which of course had to be risk assessed and all that, but the care home said it would be ok. I also figured it may be easier for him to talk to someone who isn't family about the difficult issues. Btw, in theory the NHS ought to be able to offer such counseling, but there's very little in the way of mental health care provision on the island; back in Sept. it took three weeks to organise a CPN visit and the person had to come from the mainland (ferry cancellations due to bad weather extended the delay). Again, the nature of island life compounds these issues in ways retirees don't realise when they first move to such places.
Boromir.
