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Constantly looking for things to do

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Kazsul, Oct 8, 2015.

  1. Kazsul

    Kazsul Registered User

    Sep 13, 2015
    North somerset
    My Mum who has early stages Vascular dementia seems incapable of taking a rest. She is so exhausted as my Dad has been in hospital recently but she will not sit down. She is constantly looking for jobs around the house, washing clothes, baking cakes endlessly washing dishes and is generally up and down like a yo yo.. She has started to make all kinds of excuses not to go out and the usual one is" I'm far too busy, there's too much to do" she is 81 years old and I'm wondering if this is all part and parcel of her dementia? My Dad's illness and the effects of having to make changes to their home have also had an enormous effect on her and her mood swings are far more obvious and frequent. She almost seems to blame Dad for being ill. They have no help at the moment and I'm at a loss to know what to do for the best.

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  2. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    Sorry - can't offer any help as not come across this scenario but thought I would bump this up as you've not had a reply and I'm sure others will be able to help
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    Did read your post yesterday. Is it possible that it is a combination of things happening in her life at moment, maybe things will settle down soon when your father is feeling better and home again.

    My mum went through a stage when all she wanted to do was household chores, she would put her apron on and off she would go. it was tiring to watch and I would have to help her do most things, but it got silly, from my point of view, she was taking clean clothes out of wardrobes and asking me to put in washing machine, then she would hang up to dry for all of 10 minutes and start folding and putting away.

    Still can't get mum to sit down for more than 2 minutes, but the chores are now all in her mind or takes credit for all I have done. As I sit here typing this, mum has apron on wandering in and out of kitchen telling me what's cooking in the oven and that she has just done the dishes.
  4. Kazsul

    Kazsul Registered User

    Sep 13, 2015
    North somerset
    Thank you, I appreciate any input / advice.

    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
  5. simba1

    simba1 Registered User

    Sep 18, 2015
    My mum is very similar cleaning sorting draws washing . Her next door neighbour told us last week that every morning she takes everything out of the fridge and cleans its it warm weather taking the salad box out to dry on her bench in the garden. We now have found that asking her to make baby blankets for local baby units this is giving her an. Aim and of course helping others.
  6. mrs mcgonnagal

    mrs mcgonnagal Registered User

    May 9, 2015
    my mam went through a very similar stage, before and after my dad became ill and passed away. at first it was jobs around the house but she lost the capacity for that and most things practical and then it became very difficult to engage her as she always thought she should be busy, wanted to do things and was very upset when she failed to do them or couldn't really manage any more. it was really hard to see. I think it may be possibly be anxiety, I think that is what was causing this in my mam. the loss of my dad and the loss of her skills. if your mother is managing to do things i would say let her. it could be lost soon. theres no answer really I suppose but maybe she is feeling driven to be busy all the time. very best wishes to you.
  7. StressedSon

    StressedSon Registered User

    Oct 19, 2015

    Hi my mum had a similar phase she was on a newish medication i think it was called momentine, it did help with her serious agitation but only the agitation. She would have gone to the kitchen or checked the fireplace 15 to 20 times no joke, she has vascular dementia,I dont know if your mum would be that bad but worth asking about hope this helps
  8. malomm

    malomm Registered User

    Hello Kazsul, I know just what you mean. Mrs M at 84 is fortunately still very fit and physically active, even though her mind has been completed taken over by Alzheimer's. She no longer relaxes to watch TV, just looks at it, doesn't read, or play cards. Just constantly on the go, even though she is not really capable of completing any tasks. I find the best solution when I can is playing YouTube selections from the 30/40's, gardening, or going for a walk or drive. Which I am now off to do as soon as I've posted this.
    Oh, and old photo albums will slow her down for a bit
    keep smiling,

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