confused now

cymbid

Registered User
Jan 3, 2024
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mum is in hospital aftter a hip break and then dislocation . That seems to be on the mend although she is very week , Previouslyy has had several falls and i can see no reason why that would not be the case that she has a fall risk now.

Her short term memory is bad. Not recogniing her granddaughter , Asking repeated questions. Fixated on where her bank books and money are . Thinking people will steal from her etc .

She has never been assessed . tho the hospital said she was under their person without capacity ruling at present. We have LPA .

Up till today the plan has been discharge to access for 6 weeks then probably residential care home. The family are quite happy with this and we thought DTA was a good way to ease her into the care situation . She is very happy to go to DTA.

Now this afternoon a doctor said that because she was living alone with no care it might be too big a change for her to go to residential care home. and maybe we should try 4 visits a day at home.

I am at a loss to why they think she could manage to not fall in the 20 odd hours a day she will be alone .
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,363
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South coast
There seems to be a mantra within the NHS and SS that people are always better off in their own home and push to get them back with a care package, even when it is blatantly obvious that they will not be better off.

Yes, push for the DTA
 

Gosling

Volunteer Host
Aug 2, 2022
1,974
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South West UK
Totally agree with the above. push for the DTA for sure.
At one stage my own Mum was on 4 care visits a day at home - it was always in the hours that someone wasn't with her that she ended up on the floor.
 

Kevinl

Registered User
Aug 24, 2013
6,958
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Salford
Discharge to assess (D2A) without it sounds to like it might be risky, both a hip break and a dislocation, already previously called at risk of falling again. Home environment might help her psychologically but I feel from what has been said she would potentially be at physical risk of accidental harm
Hard one to call so I'll shut up, you can't do right for doing wrong and so I stay away from talking when or where I can see a possible high risk situation.
In care is one thing always someone there, supported care at home in the hours that drag by is much more of a risk, it does mean you can be there for hours.
It doesn't take much to create a crisis. K
 

cymbid

Registered User
Jan 3, 2024
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Before this accident . the latest of many. she had a habit of switching everything off at the wall. The TV , the fall alarm system , the heating , the telephone etc. No amount of subtafuge prevented her moving heavy furniture etc to reach down and switch off. I doubt she will change now , unless she physcally cannot move once they put her to bed .In which case she should not be at home
 

Calon Lan

Registered User
May 21, 2024
20
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Hello cymbid,

I am really sorry you are faced with the proposal that 4x care visits a day is the best option for your mum.

My mum has dementia symptoms similar to those you describe. She suffered a hip fracture about a year ago. She now has good mobility for a 90 year old with dementia. That’s mainly due to good care at a nursing home where staff kept her safe, reduced the risk of another fall, and helped with rehabilitation. To be honest, there is no possible way that my mum would have been safe if she had been discharged from hospital to her own home with 4x care visits daily.

If I were you I would push as hard as you can for what you believe is the right course of action. While acting as an advocate for my mum I have often found that putting concerns in writing can help.

I hope your mum continues to improve, and that you get the care and support for her that she needs.
 

My Mum's Daughter

Registered User
Feb 8, 2020
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My Mum was around the same stage as yours when she went from hospital to permanent care. I had to leave her to settle before I could take her out in the car but within a week, we were out for our daily walks.
 

cymbid

Registered User
Jan 3, 2024
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The physio and occupational therapist are visiting daily. I'm all in favour of her being able to walk with her Zimmer to toilet and get in and out of bed by herself. But. They are asking about bed and chair height st home. I'm sure they think she can go home.
 

cymbid

Registered User
Jan 3, 2024
100
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Hello again, I really need to get this straight in my head. Andvim hoping some of uou can help. As I've said mum 91, broke hip 6 weeks ago, then dislocated it. Now all wounds are healed and shevcsn walk a bit on her Zimmer but never unsupervised. Shuffling to the toilet in the ward, often not making it in time. Lots of washing to take home. So physically mending. But mentally she is much worse. When sitting with her she asks about her childhood home as if living there now. I showed her a street view of her present house (65 years) and she did not recognise it. Lots of memories have just gone. But, the nursing staff don't see that. If they ask ifvshe had a nice lunch she will tell them she enjoyed it. She will answer questions and seems to bevable to converse and understand but only in the moment. She is supposed to be going to DTA but they are talking of seeing if she can manage to boil a kettle. Arevthey thinking of sending her home
 

cymbid

Registered User
Jan 3, 2024
100
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Another day , another hospital visit and more stories.
No 1 . Mum says she hasnt been out of her chair all day .
No 2 , A man has been in asking about her money and advising her to save as much as she can .

I freaked a bit about the money man. Is it a social worker asking about finance? Or some shyster advising on investment. Turns out there was no social worker, no man. When i asked again she had no idea what i was talking about
But she has no idea where she lives , that my brother has a wife of 35 years, that our dog has been dead for 25 years
 

StressedDaughter

Registered User
Jan 25, 2023
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My Mum was all set for D2A and at the last minute the hospital said she wasn’t eligible and set up a 4 visit care package. It clearly wasn’t enough so I found a care home for a respite visit. She is now there permanently.
Looking back, I should have pressed for D2A but once they knew Mum was self funding it seemed to disappear. I’m still unsure of how I should have played it out but Mum is happy and that’s the main thing.