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Concerned for Aunt - Advanced Dementia and Arthritis


Registered User
Feb 9, 2016
Hi everyone,

I am looking for some advice on how I can help my elderly aunt. She has been suffering from signs of dementia/alzheimers for around 18 months with it deteriorating quickly in the last 6 months after a short spell in hospital following a fall. She has advanced arthritis and can barely stand, let alone walk. So much so that she cannot even stand to turn and sit on her commode which is next to her chair that she permanently sits/sleeps/eats in. (It is a reclining chair which is able to lie flat so is not upright all the time) She is 83 years old and is currently being cared for by my elderly (and rather sickly) 78 year old uncle. He has been struggling to cope with caring for her, and has recently arranged for carers to come in twice a day to assist with changing and washing her as he is unable to do this by himself, but they do not start until Monday. They never leave the house (except when my aunt was in hospital, then sporadic visits with me driving him to and from the hospital) and have a friend who does some shopping for them, and myself and my mum who live around 30 miles away. I am concerned that they are not getting the assistance they need from the NHS, as they have no panic alarms fitted (If something were to happen to my uncle, I dread to think what would happen) and the doctor just says that there is nothing they can do. Surely there must be something that they can do to help with her quality of life?? I am worried about them both, and with me living some distance away and having a small child and a full time job, it is difficult for me to visit when they need me to. What can I do?? Is there an authority I can get in touch with to try and help? Sorry for the ramble, am reaching the end of my tether and concerned that something will happen to one or both of them if I don't do something soon.

Thanks xx


Registered User
Jul 2, 2011
Contact social services adult care duty desk,request a needs assessment for your aunt and a carers assessment for your uncle.Actually don't request demand.I'm afraid it's a case of the squeakiest wheel getting the most oil,mention vulnerable adults at risk.I once resorted to threatening to leave my parents in a and e,a horrible thing to do but it got things moving.I'm afraid this is not the tine to be polite,forceful and assertive are the order of the day.Wishing you all the best of luck


Registered User
Jan 10, 2016
You need to contact their local Social services for a needs assessment. Their GP could put this in motion for you but it sounds like this might be difficult from what you said his response was.
This should trigger a physiotherapy, occupational therapy assessment and moving and handling assessment. This should then highlight what help /equipment can be put in place to help your aunt and uncle. Maybe also contact their local Carers Resource as they will be able to support your Uncle and point him in the right direction.
You do need to stand your ground and push for these assessments.

I completely understand your feelings and at least you are showing you care.