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Concerned about grandparents and waiting for memory clinic

Laurenl

New member
Feb 24, 2020
6
Hi everyone, first time poster here just looking for some advice, both of my husbands grandparents are showing serious signs of memory issues, it has take a while to get them to admit it but they finally have and we are waiting for an appointment for the memory clinic. There is only me currently helping look after them as everyone else is working too much and other family lives abroad. I am starting to worry we will never get an appointment, and I'm struggling to help them and not sure if I'm doing things properly. I try my hardest to be patient never argue and always available for phonecalls and worries how ever my grandmother is worrying about things such as appointments today I have visited twice and relayed all the information and left notes and still I've had 7 phonecalls in a hour about the same appointment, in the end I decided to move the letters and left a note saying not to worry I have everything wrote down and I'm dealing with everything and hopefully that will settle her for today I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I'm not making this worse and that once we've been to the clinic that we will be able to get help. I love them both as if they were my own grandparents and it's so upsetting to see them confused especially as they are starting to seriously argue over little things such as grandmother insists someone has visited grandad insists they haven't but I find proof for instance the man who sells them tea has been and sold them some.
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
10,865
Merseyside
Welcome to DTP @Laurenl
I think you did the right thing in removing the letter. Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.
 

Laurenl

New member
Feb 24, 2020
6
Thank you! I sometimes worry that I'm handling things wrong, I just wish I had more experience in dealing with things like this and was sure of how to handle things like the anxiety they both seem to have about what's happening
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,051
Nottinghamshire
Welcome to Dementia Talking Point @Laurenl

I found it was best not to remind my dad of any appointments but just to turn up on the day in plenty of time in case he wasn’t ready.

You don’t necessarily need a diagnosis to get a care assessment for your OH’s grandparents and it can take a while to get Social services to put something in place so if you feel they need support you can ask now. In the meantime perhaps introduce a cleaner or “home help” to give you a bit of a break if they can afford it.

I found this helpful for reducing anxiety
 

Laurenl

New member
Feb 24, 2020
6
We have a cleaner starting this Friday I'm hoping that will be a help to them, and I'm trying to now only tell them the night before an appointment especially if it as early morning one as I have a school. Run but I will try now to only tell them on the day and perhaps try and schedule later ones thank you! Thank you I will speak to my husband about social services and see if we can arrange an assessment or something? The problem I have is they have good days and bad days but the bad days now outweigh the good
 

Laurenl

New member
Feb 24, 2020
6
Thank you for the link I feel that will really help with the anxiety and will be good for other family members to read and understand!
 

Laurenl

New member
Feb 24, 2020
6
I've had to start doing the same as there seems to be so many these days that I can't do them all but I need to take them as grandad can't drive anymore and I don't like the idea of them going on the bus
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,051
Nottinghamshire
It takes a while to find out what works best @Laurenl ...and then everything changes so you have to work it all out again 🙄

You’re doing fine. I found someone on the forum had a solution for most things when I got stuck!
 

Laurenl

New member
Feb 24, 2020
6
Thank you! I'm so worried for what comes next and how we will manage but I'm sure we will get there and thankful for any advice I can get! I'm sure I'll be posting quite a lot over the next few months!