• We're currently experiencing technical issues with our newsletter software, so our Dementia Talking Point monthly updates have been put on hold for now. We hope to restart the newsletter soon.

    Find out more >here<.

Concern over change to LPA


Registered User
Mar 23, 2015
I wonder if anyone could offer me any advice as i'm at my wits end!
My Father was diagnosed with dementia last year. His wife and I immediately arranged to register an LPA as joint attorneys.
During this process it cropped up that both my father and his wife had wills that would leave everything to each other. Then in the event of the second partner's death the estate would go to their children from their first marriages which would exclude the other partners children from their first marriage. His wife felt that if my father as I likely died first she would distribute the estate to us in some fair but not pre agreed way as she saw fit. I didn't think this was clear enough but when I told my dad's wife that I was going to talk to my dad about his will she became very defensive saying I didn't trust her and urging me not to talk to him. This worried me as I thought being open and discussing the options and resolving any concerns re the wills would be preferable to trying to sort it out later. I did talk to my dad and the wills have now been changed to make it clear what happens on the death of each partner.
However my father has now applied to change his LPA removing me as a joint attorney. I spoke to the solicitor who arranged the change (who also arranged to change the wills) who was clear it was his wish. I spoke to him briefly and he didn't seem to realise he had applied to change the LPA and said he thought I would still be an attorney. However the form has been witnessed by a solicitor and signed by his specialist registrar so appears to be all above board.
I just don't understand why it would need to be changed and how this would benefit my father?
I'm worried that I wasn't spoken to before the decision was made and I've sort of fallen out with his wife over the will issue so communication with her is difficult.
I get on well with my father although we are not especially close (I know he is not especially close to his wife either partly as a result of the disease) and I believe he trusts me to act in his best interests.
Can anyone offer any suggestions on :
1) Possible reasons for making the decision to change the LPA?
2) How to repair relations with his wife as we are both now mistrustful of each other?

Thanks in advance!


Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
I think it would be normal for a husband or wife to be the other's LPA excluding the children, so nothing really unusual there. However to have had you actually removed does feel like a statement that you have "interfered" with what they arranged (and I don't mean that in a horrible way, I think you were very wise to do what you did) and this is the consequence.
I think you have to live with this, I am completely excluded from decisions my dad takes about my mum, I don't agree with quite a few of them, but I am so very glad he is caring for her. I haven't ever been involved in other decisions they have made together throughout their married life so don't think I have to be now.

Please understand that the above is just my way of looking at it, all families work differently and yours might be a millions miles from this.
Welcome to TP by the way.

Forum statistics

Latest member