1. smartieplum

    smartieplum Registered User

    Jul 29, 2014
    259
    Has anyone had cause to speak to a supervisor in a nursing home about a member of staff? How did you handle it and was there a detrimental outcome. I had to do such today. It was not easy as I hate confrontation.
     
  2. Jojo4444

    Jojo4444 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2017
    37
    I feel for you.

    I am in the middle of composing a letter to my mums care home manager (and social services) about the failure to provide her with pain relief because “she hasn’t asked for it “!

    Thankfully she is only in respite and will hopefully move to another home within a week.

    I read an article by “Which” magazine which gave me the confidence to do it.
     
  3. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,901
    Male
    Bristol
    What is the actual problem, smartieplum? Or do you not wish to go into that.
    I've had a few problems with carers at home over the last few years and have to say the outcomes have varied from indifference to positive action via false promises. It's always best to put in writing the basics of who what where and when as firmly and politely as possible before calling the manager a day or two later if you have not had an official reply by then.
    I hate confrontation too, but dislike sloppy care just as much. It's never easy or pleasant though is it?
    Good luck.
     
  4. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,780
    Salford
    Good luck with that, as I understand it pain relief should only be given as needed according to the way homes work. I don't know about "asking for it" but I routinely see residents offered their schedule pain medication only to decline it.
    One lady broke a wrist a few weeks ago and has been on medication for back pain for years and I've never seen her accept her painkillers once other than when her husband is there and badgers her into taking them.
    It's not necessarily current thinking that the routine use of pain relief medication when not required is a good thing, home can and do get into trouble for using pain relief medication as a way of keeping people "compliant". I think it's a good thing when homes don't push unnecessary medications.
    K
     
  5. Bubba13

    Bubba13 New member

    Apr 10, 2018
    9
    Painkillers are normally put on Mar charts prn not routine if a resident declines it when offered then the staff are unable to administer it.. it's a bit like routine medications we can't force anyone to take them only ask and get all means to administer without forcing them.
     
  6. smartieplum

    smartieplum Registered User

    Jul 29, 2014
    259
    Nothing major I suppose. A very unfortunate attitude from a staff member. She told me a couple of weeks ago, "your mother had diarrhoea all night from eating too much chocolate". This was in the patients lounge in front of other visitors. I let it go but at the weekend I went up to see mum with my nephew and we were shouted at that it was dinner time and we shouldn't be there. Actually berated. It was the end of lunch which had actually been served late. Now, if shes like that with us, what's she like with the residents. I've heard her with some of the residents and she's not nice. Perhaps it's her way, but maybe a little retraining would not go amiss. You hear so many horror stories. If I hear her dealing with my mum in such a way, Id just call the police, I swear!
     
  7. DollyBird16

    DollyBird16 Registered User

    Sep 5, 2017
    1,186
    Female
    Greater London
    Hi, I’m with @nae sporran just don’t like sloppy care.
    I’ve complained today, saying to the care manager I have no issue with the person, however her care abilities do not match the standard of others. I listed my examples and asked for her thoughts on the options of how we move forward. From her options I choose the carer no longer supports.
    Different as this is at home care not a home.

    @Jojo4444 I am screaming for you, idiots.
     
  8. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,901
    Male
    Bristol
    A firm friendly letter or email to the care manager setting out your concerns is definitely in order at the very least in those circumstances Smarteplum. That's not really the attitude you want from professional carers. Good luck with it.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,544
    Kent
    That's not really the attitude you want from professional carers. Good luck with it.

    I agree with he comment from nae sporran @smartieplum and if you are worrym=ng about a face to face discussion, an email or letter will be just as good, even better because you will have proof of writing.

    I preferred putting it in writing if I had anything important to say because I could read it through and edit where necessary and was less affected emotionally.
     
  10. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    4,913
    N Ireland
    #10 karaokePete, Apr 11, 2018
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2018
    In circumstances like these I too would write a letter or e-mail about that staff member. Don’t worry too much about doing this as there isn’t anything wrong with being assertive if polite at the same time.
    The risk of souring the atmosphere further just has to be taken into the account.
     
  11. 70smand

    70smand Registered User

    Dec 4, 2011
    264
    Female
    Essex
    I haven’t done it yet but have come close to it, but I also don’t want to cause any ill feeling or make things worse for my dad, or my mum, who visits him for 6 hours every day.
    It definitely depends on the staff, and some can be very brusque and ‘off’ and even quite intimidating to the point of bullying when speaking to my mum and the residents yet they put on a front to other relatives.
    I used to turn up at lunch and the staff and residents were fine with me pulling up a chair at the dining table to help him with his meal as I did it regularly. I would patiently sit with him and load his fork so he could feed himself but they wouldn’t give him the chance to do it himself and now he is not able.
    On the floor he was on previously my mum was accused by staff of reporting them when she never, as she told them if she had anything to say to them it would be to their face, but a few of them almost ganged up on her and called her a liar. She was so upset by this that I went in the next day realising what the mix up was. I had actually made a passing remark to the friendly domestic about all the staff being too busy to unlock dad’s door as they were on their phones,which was true, and the domestic reported them. I spoke to the staff and they were all lovely to me saying if we ever had any problems to come to them, but they were alright with me but generally ignored my mum from that day on.
    We always make a point of being polite and thanking the staff, even, when sometimes they don’t deserve it just to stay on the right side of them.
    I am on the verge of having a meeting with the manager because dad is now reliant on a hoist so the staff seem to want to do everything for him and tell my mum to get out of the way, but she wants to be included in his care as she has always has been when she is there and she has a calming effect on him.
    It’s so difficult because some of the staff are so lovely and others make my poor mum feel like she is a nuisance- I notice they are never like it with me though!
    I think if I read others have had a good outcome from making a justified complaint I would be inclined to.
    What would our loved ones do without us as their advocates?
     
  12. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    I am on the verge of having a meeting with the manager because dad is now reliant on a hoist so the staff seem to want to do everything for him and tell my mum to get out of the way, but she wants to be included in his care as she has always has been when she is there and she has a calming effect on him.

    Mum being included in his care is one thing, being allowed to hoist him, with with or without care home staff will never happen. They may very well need mum out of the way to hoist him safely.
     
  13. Sirena

    Sirena Registered User

    Feb 27, 2018
    1,628
    Female
    I think you're right to complain. My mother sustained an injury after a fall at her care home, and was prescribed pain relief. The staff specifically said to me they it would be given on a regular schedule rather than prn, because PWDs are unlikely to 'request' it and may not even specifically indicate they have pain.
     
  14. 70smand

    70smand Registered User

    Dec 4, 2011
    264
    Female
    Essex
    I completely understand Jessbow, and mum would never try to hoist dad - she always calls for the care staff to get him to the toilet but he sometimes gets upset when hoisted and we have been told he is aggressive with staff. However, he responds well to my mum talking to him whilst the carers do the hoisting and cleaning and a carer told my mum she had to leave the room the other day and she refused. She said she would stay out of their way but she refused to leave the room. Because he has a wet pad they would just change it but mum insists that he be given a chance to sit on the toilet as well when she is there and he usually performs. He was never incontinent with us whilst mobile a couple of months ago because we used to take him to the toilet regularly, and give him time to sit and contemplate but we are unable to do that now.
    The carers also rush around and give dad instructions like ‘sit up’ and ‘hold on to the bar’ and ‘lift your feet’ - none of which he is able to do as he can’t take instruction. And before he knows it he is standing up with his trousers round his ankles and a cold wet flannel suddenly slaps him on the backside without so much as an explanation so I would scream and shout too if it was me!
     
  15. Jojo4444

    Jojo4444 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2017
    37


    Thanks , this is a bit of a minefield for me at moment, my complaint is that there is no indication that she had been offered them.
     
  16. Jojo4444

    Jojo4444 Registered User

    Oct 27, 2017
    37
    Thanks, added to this the fact that mum has been on them so long that she has a definite addiction and the withdrawal is known to cause, agitation, confusion, etc. So this is really difficult to see how much is due to the dementia. I’ve now had the doctor re issue the instruction on the prescription so she will get them twice a day, unless she does actually refuse.
     
  17. Hazara8

    Hazara8 Registered User

    Apr 6, 2015
    354
    If the Care Home is good - correction - adhering properly to all the accepted 'codes of practice', that should be a given. As relatives, we must understand that the regime in Care Homes which lasts 24 hours, works best without disruption, because dementia is exacerbated by any disruption. So we allow meal times to be free, to be just that. We allow the Care Staff to carry out their duties without hindrance. That is fair. For often, a given resident might present with agitation at the table and managing that correctly, to allow other residents to complete their meals, is just one example. The same applies to handling. There are 'safe' procedures which must be left to the trained Care Staff. The implications of intervening for the most worthy of reasons, could be dire, if a mishap came about due simply to 'wanting to give a helping hand'. The same criteria we apply to a hospital visit seems appropriate here, in terms of Care. Let those who are trained to do so, carry out the function of 'care' to the very best of their ability, based firmly on proper training and with 'respect and dignity'.

    However, there are other fundamentals which go hand-in-hand with the above. These relate to the one who has previously been the 'carer' and who has most likely given their very all in terms of commitment and health, to their loved one, perhaps over decades. The one who has undergone the depths of despair, pain, frustration, isolation and more, in the course of that care, only to succumb - without choice - to the eventual handing over of that role, to a stranger. In essence, that is precisely what it is. The 'stranger' encapsulated in terms of the Care Home or facility. That alone evokes all manner of doubts, muddled notions of 'guilt', what-ifs and a general sense of powerless detachment. Thus, requires that all those employed in the Care Home now in 'ownership' of your loved one, understand to a fault, the implications of just what you have endured and continue to endure. And so, respect, empathy and complete awareness of the fact - that you maintain a very powerful and meaningful relationship with your loved one, at all times - but now, in that removed way, made often more challenging simply due to the fact that you are reluctantly an 'onlooker'. This is highly important, because the nature of 'trust' plays a huge role in all of this. When you enter a facility which has an 'open door' policy (I was able to visit my late mother's Care Home at ANY time - night or day - if I wished) and are greeted by 'genuine' smiles and an encouraging welcome, coupled to efficient, disciplined 'care' and ongoing 'respect' for your loved one - that means a very great deal. You, in turn cooperate in the manner befitting such a 'relationship', bearing in mind - at all times - the goal is always 'quality of life' for your loved one. If you have doubts, address them with the Manager and any perceived infraction, elsewhere if you feel in any way rebuffed (i.e.CQC).

    At the end of the day, you have placed the one who is dear to you, into what should really be seen as 'home'. Not just some kind of 'waiting room' towards the inevitable, where people simply see out the remainder of their lives, subject to a caprice of welfare and a permanent 'eye on the clock'.
     
  18. 70smand

    70smand Registered User

    Dec 4, 2011
    264
    Female
    Essex
    That just about sums it up, and put so well. Thank you x
     
  19. ChristinaG

    ChristinaG Registered User

    Feb 21, 2017
    92
     
  20. ChristinaG

    ChristinaG Registered User

    Feb 21, 2017
    92
    You can sign an agreement to get medication given covertly or in a liquid form if available. I did this as mum kept missing her meds as refused to take them. Staff regularly disguised tablets in jam or mashed banana. She has regular pain relief as can't articulate when she is in pain.
     

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