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Coffee anyone?

Coffee time

Registered User
Oct 27, 2015
9
Oh yes that feeling of complete and utter "knackeredness", the brain doesn't cope with dementia - well mine doesn't anyway! This is year 4 in the maze and I'm still no better at bursting in to tears at a moments notice. My latest venture was into the World of Mum (main carer) getting pneumonia and going straight into hospital and me having to sort respite care for Dad.
I thought I could look after him ...24 hours a day for a week, how ridiculous that's not long, eventually I gave up and he went to respite. I did cry all the way home, felt I'd let him down.
He was the strong type, built furniture, sorted the garden, looked after the bank, decorated, organised holidays, oh and looked after Mum.
Now we go for a coffee..I can do that cos I gave up work - no point in trying to work when you're brain is frazzled!
The we move onto the family, who simply can't cope with Dad like he is, but I can, obviously ....
Just got help this week from a 'very nice man' at the local Alzheimers group. He said all the right words (yep you guessed it - started crying again!) ...and then I found this forum, (Reading some of the stories - well you can imagine the result!).
However I'm strong and I have a purpose - and that is to remind my Dad who I am every single day and give Mum all the support in the World!
But sometimes I wonder why I can't cope ....funny that?!
Ps whoever created this forum needs a medal!
 
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Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,786
Kent
Hello Coffee Time

It sounds to me as if you are coping very well.

Most of us cry and get frustrated and feel we could do more, but in reality we manage the most difficult of illnesses with a strength and fortitude we didn`t know we had.

Crying doesn`t matter. It`s releasing deep feelings of sadness and upset and only robots don`t cry.

I agree the person who started this forum deserves a medal. His name is Craig and he approached the Alzheimer`s society in 2003 when his father was diagnosed.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
62,817
69
Dundee
Good morning and welcome to TP.

I'm so glad you've found the forum. You'll get lots of help and support here. Enjoy your coffee!:rolleyes:
 

jaymor

Volunteer Moderator
Jul 14, 2006
13,228
England
Good morning and welcome from me too.

Being a member of the forum won't lighten your load but it will give you support, answers to your questions and friendship from other carers who understand you perfectly and are ready 24 hours a day to be there to listen.

So glad you found us and look forward to seeing you posting here.

Take care
 

Chuggalug

Registered User
Mar 24, 2014
8,007
Norfolk
Morning, Coffee time. Just wish I could make it all better. I so understand the tears. Not much of a crier myself, but dementia, and living with it changed all that.

Thank God for this Forum. I'd not have survived without it. You're always welcome, and will always be made welcome. Come, put yer feet up and make yourself at home, xxxxx
 

MrsTerryN

Registered User
Dec 17, 2012
769
Morning coffee :) I agree with all of the above . It is so nice to know you aren't alone . Also that when your love one does X And the care provider says oh that is really unusual , you can come on TP and find out ,sadly, that lots have done it.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,132
Scotland
CT I was struck by how close this resembles me earlier this year. If anyone spoke nicely to me I was choked or burst into tears. That is not my style at all. Things have improved generally in that husbands wanderings are reduced due in part to medication and I get a break three days a week when he goes to daycare.

I can see clearly now that I was close to a breakdown but at the time I was too exhausted to get myself out of the fix I was in. I got volunteers for a couple of hours at first, then gradually the help built up from there. I firmly believe that sobbing in front of social workers brought it home to them that I was on the edge. So you go ahead and cry and if you are offered help snap it up as a starting point to something better.

Good luck.
 

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