here's a thought,don't you think the reason we are cynical about christmas is because of the way dementia/alzheimer's is screwing our emotions up?
Christmas...
- Thread starter Rageddy Anne
- Start date
No, I felt this way before dementia re-entered our lives.
I think it's because Christmas has become far too commercialised and the build up for it starts far too early.
I have always really disliked 'I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause but I do like David Essex's 'A winter's tale'. As for proper carols I love 'In the Bleak midwinter'.
I've never liked the commercialism, but YES. Must try to snap out of it. Nobody likes a wet blanket.
I was really pleased when I discovered that the house where "in the bleak midwinter" was composed is quite near us, and until recently was called Midwinter cottage.
Sorry - I've taken liberties with your post.
I totally agree - so much about Christmas I'd ban but wall to wall TV and all it's distractions isn't one of them.
I'm dreading it all.
I agree with you on that one malc.
Imagine looking at Christmas/other festivities through the eyes of someone with mid to late dementia - over stimulating/loud/off schedule/tiring/frightening
....a little of these special family times, however may trigger happy memories and may raise a smile so I opt for the low-key, gentle approach with my M with a plan B up my sleeve
ie only put a small amount of tape on presents, just open bits until her attention had wondered, be ready to leave restaurant when she's had enough
and keep the event short. leave on a good note
....then scurry home for a glass of wine and a wind down with the children
Imagine looking at Christmas/other festivities through the eyes of someone with mid to late dementia - over stimulating/loud/off schedule/tiring/frightening
....a little of these special family times, however may trigger happy memories and may raise a smile so I opt for the low-key, gentle approach with my M with a plan B up my sleeve
ie only put a small amount of tape on presents, just open bits until her attention had wondered, be ready to leave restaurant when she's had enough
and keep the event short. leave on a good note
....then scurry home for a glass of wine and a wind down with the children
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you have to ignore the commercial side,i personally dislike it for the pure and simple reason that it's a bench mark date to compare the decline of my wife,ie weren't this bad last year,also going off birthdays,easter and wedding anniversaries for the same reason,the doctor who christmas special with katherine jenkins hit hard,where she could only come out so many times and the clock ticked down,i feel denise's clock is ticking down has the years roll by and it's heartbreaking.
The commercial side is our saving grace - too much TV, too much food, too much wine, too much chocolate, pressies and music, children going on a big walk with hubby (not me). Big smiles and a prayer that mum will not flip because her day is vile.
Malc my mum has also gone downhill rapidly, diagnosed October 2011 (aged 66), psych ward by July 2012, discharged to residential care and of august 2012, moved after 5 weeks to EMI NH after suffering abuse at the hands of a fellow resident and the home blatantly not being able to care for her. 1stone 2lb weight loss in a week as her key worker was away and there were too few staff to provide 1:1 whilst she sat and ate. She therefore starved.
It's god awful seeing people decline so rapidly, mum had been showing symptoms for approximately 3 years before anyone actually helped, then she went from 0-not recognising anyone in the blink of an eye. I was ok when she was first diagnosed as I knew what was wrong without a psychiatrist telling me, it has however been harder since her diagnosis to get my head round just how bloomin quick the AD has taken hold and taken away my mum. She's only been that for 36 years, her and my dad have been together for over 50 years so how he feels and how you yourself feel or anyone else with a loved one with the damned bloody disease feels I will never know.
I agree some songs should be banned, particularly blinkin Mariah Carey's version of All I want for Christmas! Oh and anything that has Cliff Richards name to it!!!
It's god awful seeing people decline so rapidly, mum had been showing symptoms for approximately 3 years before anyone actually helped, then she went from 0-not recognising anyone in the blink of an eye. I was ok when she was first diagnosed as I knew what was wrong without a psychiatrist telling me, it has however been harder since her diagnosis to get my head round just how bloomin quick the AD has taken hold and taken away my mum. She's only been that for 36 years, her and my dad have been together for over 50 years so how he feels and how you yourself feel or anyone else with a loved one with the damned bloody disease feels I will never know.
I agree some songs should be banned, particularly blinkin Mariah Carey's version of All I want for Christmas! Oh and anything that has Cliff Richards name to it!!!
Malc, my husband moved from the acute hospital to a communtiy one for mental health in Christmas week 3 years ago. He just about knew it was Christmas then but, to be honest, I can't recall much about that time myself as it had been a very distressing few months in the acute hospital.
The following Christmas he was in the nursing home and wasn't aware of Christmas. Couldn't understand enough to unwrap a present or open a card.
Last year, he slept most of the time and showed no interest in presents at all.
Now conversation has virtually gone and any communication is non-existent.
To him, Christmas doesn't exist and I will be glad when it is all over.
He used to love Christmas.
However, I have 2 daughters and 5 grandchildren, so for them,
I will be bright and breezy and full of Christmas spirit when I am with them.
I will not make their memories of Christmases spent with me full of misery.
I will find joy in their company and find positive things about Christmas to focus on.
I like the pretty snowy lights.
I like.........I will find something else!
The following Christmas he was in the nursing home and wasn't aware of Christmas. Couldn't understand enough to unwrap a present or open a card.
Last year, he slept most of the time and showed no interest in presents at all.
Now conversation has virtually gone and any communication is non-existent.
To him, Christmas doesn't exist and I will be glad when it is all over.
He used to love Christmas.
However, I have 2 daughters and 5 grandchildren, so for them,
I will be bright and breezy and full of Christmas spirit when I am with them.
I will not make their memories of Christmases spent with me full of misery.
I will find joy in their company and find positive things about Christmas to focus on.
I like the pretty snowy lights.
I like.........I will find something else!
I can imagine that happening Kassy. A very foolish and insensitive thing to do and the care home owner should have known better to approach a person with dementia in this way. I think most sufferers would be terrified.
To be honest Kassy, I wouldn't like it either. I don't like people dressed up at all and have always tried to avoid FC.
You're right Saffie, we must be positive.
I like CHRISTMAS TREES
I like bringing greenery indoors, Holly, mistletoe and ivy, all from our garden...yes, mistletoe grows on our apple tree!
I like beautiful Christmas carols
I like big tins of a mixed brightly wrapped Quality sweets.
I like the flocks of wagtails that crowd onto a tree in our town centre, at their bedtime
I like the sound of church bells on a frosty morning.
I like the tree on a common near us which gets decorated with cards from all the local dogs
I like candles on the window sill...
Yes, there'll be more...and I won't be a misery.
I like
- Christmas lights
- Singing carols
- when our family is together at Christmas, even though Bill is finding it more and more difficult
- wrapping presents
- christmas trees
- kiltie sausages! (little sausages with bacon round them)
- watching 'It's A Wonderful Life'
- walking in the snow
I like
Watching National Lampoons, The Griswolds family Christmas..
Watching those mad people swimming in The Serpentine
Big Ben chiming in the new year.
Wrapping presents in matching paper with lots of ribbons and bows.
Funny old tree decorations, associated with Christmasses long ago.
..we have a grotty felt imp that dates back at least forty eight years..He hides deep in the heart of the tree, and our now grown up children used to love searching out his hiding place.now their children do it.
Watching National Lampoons, The Griswolds family Christmas..
Watching those mad people swimming in The Serpentine
Big Ben chiming in the new year.
Wrapping presents in matching paper with lots of ribbons and bows.
Funny old tree decorations, associated with Christmasses long ago.
..we have a grotty felt imp that dates back at least forty eight years..He hides deep in the heart of the tree, and our now grown up children used to love searching out his hiding place.now their children do it.
I like:
Setting out daughter's pressies on the sofa and arranging them so they look nice.
Giving presents.
Seeing smiles.
Christmas Dinner (which hubby cooks!).
Visiting my in-laws on Boxing Day.
Eating Terry's Chocolate Orange for breakfast.
Being part of a loving family.
Hubby being off work.
Putting the decorations away and getting back to normal!
Setting out daughter's pressies on the sofa and arranging them so they look nice.
Giving presents.
Seeing smiles.
Christmas Dinner (which hubby cooks!).
Visiting my in-laws on Boxing Day.
Eating Terry's Chocolate Orange for breakfast.
Being part of a loving family.
Hubby being off work.
Putting the decorations away and getting back to normal!
I think this is a great thread!
I feel as though I am far too busy to experience a great Christmas anyway. I would love to do more festivities to try and take the commercial edge off. Christmas doesn't feel the same anymore due to my mum now being 85+ and my husband 61 with Alzheimer's. So glad we have a 1 yr old grandchild who has already given us great joy.
I like
Looking forward to it
Smiles on family faces - relief its arrived!
Seeing Christmas decorations peeping through windows - looks so homely
Festive food in the shops - Christmas puds etc
Christmas Carols
Holly berries
Christmas Tree festivals
Christmas Cards
Christmas morning (so far!)
Christmas dinner
Reds
I feel as though I am far too busy to experience a great Christmas anyway. I would love to do more festivities to try and take the commercial edge off. Christmas doesn't feel the same anymore due to my mum now being 85+ and my husband 61 with Alzheimer's. So glad we have a 1 yr old grandchild who has already given us great joy.
I like
Looking forward to it
Smiles on family faces - relief its arrived!
Seeing Christmas decorations peeping through windows - looks so homely
Festive food in the shops - Christmas puds etc
Christmas Carols
Holly berries
Christmas Tree festivals
Christmas Cards
Christmas morning (so far!)
Christmas dinner
Reds
I like:
Leaving chocolate coins under my boys pillows at night when they've been good (starting from 1st December) they believe they are from Santas good boy fairy.
Waking Xmas morning to the children jumping on our bed with their stockings and opening them all excited.
Watching The Snowman on Xmas eve all cuddled up on the sofa in our pj's with hot chocolate to drink after big warm bubble baths.
And finally
The children's faces when they walk downstairs and see their presents. It's priceless.
X
Leaving chocolate coins under my boys pillows at night when they've been good (starting from 1st December) they believe they are from Santas good boy fairy.
Waking Xmas morning to the children jumping on our bed with their stockings and opening them all excited.
Watching The Snowman on Xmas eve all cuddled up on the sofa in our pj's with hot chocolate to drink after big warm bubble baths.
And finally
The children's faces when they walk downstairs and see their presents. It's priceless.
X
