christmas-a time of joy-and often sadness

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Louise, Dec 21, 2004.

  1. Louise

    Louise Registered User

    Dec 19, 2004
    22
    PEMBROKESHIRE
    Two years ago at this time of the year, i was visiting my dear mum in the nursing home, where she was looked after in total for 5 and a half years. It was very difficult to know what to get her,so, i bought her a fibre optic father christmas! It wasn't one of these all singing dancing jobs, it was a silently shimmering, prety one because often mum would get aggressive with loud noises etc., when i plugged it in for her to see, her eyes lit up, she smiled and tried to say things,but, the words weren't there. Then she tried to sing which is something she often did when she was happy!!! It made me cry to see her so happy and i knew for that moment as she tried to wipe my tears away, that, my visit mean't something. which was often something that she did on my monthly visit. I live 140 miles from the home, have three children and work,so, visits were never as often as i would have liked. However on a happy note, i could leave that day knowing that so long as she looked at this she would be smiling!!!
    On a sad note ,my dear mum passed away on sept 2nd this year, my dad passed away on 13th october 2ooo, they now both rest in peace together. I've been to take flowers today to brighten up their grave. I met up with my sister and she gave me a box that she had collected from the home when she sorted out mum's belongings.
    It was a long day, a lot of driving, lots of emotions and memories. I got home and my youngest son Kieran opened the box, which contained the father christmas. He,s plugged in now and silently shimmering away!!! It'll soon be christmas, i guess this year i'm going to be happy to be with my familly and sad missing the ones i can't be with!

    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!
     
  2. thompsonsom

    thompsonsom Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    97
    halifax
    Hi Louise

    Sorry to hear of the loss of your mum and your sadness. Our loved ones are never lost forever as the memories are always with us and after reading your post couldn't help but think that your mum wanted you to receive the father christmas now to remind you that she is in a happier place. I am not a believer in life ever after but am amazed at the messages that seem to come through just when we need them the most. Enjoy christmas and toast the memory of your mum who is no longer suffering the indignity of this dreadful illness.


    jan
     
  3. Louise

    Louise Registered User

    Dec 19, 2004
    22
    PEMBROKESHIRE
    Hi jan,
    read your message this morning just before going to work, thankyou for your kind words,sometimes that's what we need to keep us going. I felt much better today and when all the christmas festivities are going on, I most definately will make a toast to the memory of my mum. Alzheimers is a dreadful illness, I know my mum isn't suffering anymore and that does help to ease the pain of her loss. Its losing someone twice that is the difficult bit! Thank you once again, merry christmas, hope to keep in touch, louise
     
  4. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Dear Louise. last year we got Mum a fibre optic Christmas tree, which she too loved. She also loved the outdoor lights and helped order more in the January sale. We lost her in July, but our place is lit up in memory of her and as so many people have said how lovely it looks we added a few more. So her memory will go on, in pleasure to others as she would have wished. Sounds as if you are in much the same boat. This will be a hard Christmas in a lot of ways, but thank God we had our loved ones to show us the way, and even in the missing, they are here with us arn't they. I cry as I write, but I know they are all near, because we love them and always will. Love She. XX
     
  5. Louise

    Louise Registered User

    Dec 19, 2004
    22
    PEMBROKESHIRE
    christmas lights

    Sheila,
    so good to hear from you- I've been desperate the last few days. As you know, i'm a very new member, I almost thought too late, really, but it's never too late. Since joining this site,i feel like there is hope. I can finally talk to people in the 'same boat'. I've so much that i've wanted to say, i feel now i can. At times i thought i might explode. On the note of lights before i start to ramble!!! isn't it wonderfulhow much light it gives us-to know we had loved ones to show us the way. We can still feel them near us - yes they are with us this i know. I'll start a new thread soon called THE ROBIN. But for now thankyou so much, the lights are on and their love is with us always, lots a love louise xxx
     
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Louise, yes, love She. XX
     
  7. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Dear Loo Loo

    In memory of your dear Mum I would like you to know that she lives on, through you, in my Mum's nursing home. You provided me with a wonderful idea for decorating her room. I've baulked at the traditional decs for personal reasons, apart from the safety issues, but can't bear the thought of nothing, even if she no longer understands what time of the year it is. Fibre optics is the way to go. So, a little light shines................thank you for that.

    Many good wishes
    Chesca
     
  8. Louise

    Louise Registered User

    Dec 19, 2004
    22
    PEMBROKESHIRE
    lights

    Dear chesca,
    Thankyou for your reply, i'm sure your mum will like the lights in what ever shape, you can get so many nice ones these days , they're so prety!! Have a lovely christmas, kind regards, louise xx
     

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