Changing care home?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Bonzo, Mar 9, 2015.

  1. Bonzo

    Bonzo Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5
    My father is in a care home 50 miles from me. He is settled and seems content. For two years I have had to oversee my mothers care but now she has passed away I have more energy for my father. I visit weekly but it's a long journey.
    I would love to have him living nearer but am concerned the move might have a detrimental effect on him.
    I welcome forum comments. Thank you.
     
  2. Angela T

    Angela T Registered User

    Jul 13, 2014
    187
    France
    Yes, it might have a detrimental effect on him, being moved into a new environment, but it might have a positive effect on him if you were able to visit more often, and spend more time with him.

    I think you also need to consider your needs - and caring for your mother/father is much more difficult when you live far away from the care home.

    I have a similar dilemma, so I do sympathise.

    Angela
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,776
    Salford
    Hi Bonzo
    It's a difficult issue, you won't know until you try and if it doesn't work out then there's really no going back. You have to weigh up taking him from somewhere he's settled and presumably happy and well looked after. A move at this stage isn't something I would do unless the 100 mile round trip really was getting too much for you.
    I always try to time a longish journey with something I like listening to on the radio or download things I've missed from the BBC website (radio 4 and radio 4 extra of course) so I've got something to interesting to listen to on the drive.
    K
     
  4. marsaday

    marsaday Registered User

    Mar 2, 2012
    541
    Hi Bonzo,

    I changed Mum's care home to be nearer me but I was sure she was going to a better place so I was prepared to take the risk. It worked out brilliantly but then she wasn't particularly settled or happy in the first one so I had nothing to lose.

    But just saying it can work if you allow a little time for re-adjustment. I was swapping a 20 mile round trip for a 5 mile round trip though. I def would not like to have been doing 100 miles! Now I can pop in if I fancy it when passing and I just love the convenience.
     
  5. mrsapple

    mrsapple Registered User

    Feb 4, 2013
    49
    Northumberland
    Hi Bonzo

    My mum was 250 miles away, and after four years of visiting just once a month I decided to move her to a NH near to me. She was in the later stages of VascD so didn't really seem to realise she had moved, and certainly settled in well. The main thing for me was being able to visit every day and deal with every problem as it cropped up. Most importantly, I could be there if the GP or DN was visiting her, and on the five emergency trips to hospital (in the middle of the night each time) I was able to go with her and speak directly to hospital staff. Also able to speak face to face with SW and attend CHC meetings etc. Mum died in January, and I was there with her. All in all, I would say it was a good decision to make the change. Good luck.
     
  6. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,289
    SW London
    I am sure it will depend to some extent on the stage the person is at, but we had to move an aunt with probably late-moderate stage dementia. She had been in an ordinary residential home for a couple of years but as her dementia worsened she had started bothering the non-dementia residents.

    We were very worried about how she'd take the move, but in fact she settled very well and quickly, or TBH as well as she was ever going to settle anywhere, since she had a fairly stroppy streak! The new home (with a specialist dementia section) was lovely and she was able to stay there until she died.
     
  7. Bonzo

    Bonzo Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5
    Thanks

    Thank you to those who responded, I appreciate your wise thoughts and experience.
     

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