Caring for MIL with V Dementia

[Taximother]

This is my first post but have been reading everyone's posts for the past few years and have found your advise very helpful in dealing with our problems. My MIL has lived with us for nearly 4 years now and have dealt with various problems with this awful disease. Firstly their ability with their hygiene goes then they believe things that haven't happened like accusing various people of doing things,then seeing things that are not there. I hope I am helping other people dealing with looking after some loved one with this awful disease. I noticed someone wrote about building an extension for their loved one my advise is they loose their ability to work any machines to our avail as she nearly burnt our home down twice by leaving things on and walking away ,so my advise is no kitchen just wet room and easy living area . My husband (her son) gets very upset at some of the things she says and does but I constantly have to remind him it's not her it's her dementia that's doing this as she was a lovely mother and would have never dreamed of being like she is now. And sometimes you have to remind yourself of this especially when things get VERY difficult. I've learnt not to make a big thing of the things she says as it made matters worse eg. I'm going out to dinner today with Andy(her other son) instead of saying oh your not. I say oh that's lovely. Then I get my hubby to phone and I say oh that's andy he can't make dinner that's ashame and she's fine. If she tells me someone's done something to her. I say that's not nice I will tell them off when I see them and she forgets. It's just trying to keep them happy as they won't remember tomorrow. By the way my MIL is 92 this year and thinks her legs don't work so she stays in her room most days. Message me if you are new to looking after someone and need advise as I said your advise really helped me to deal with V DEMENTIA and. KEEP SMILING and ignore your friends who say put her in a home I would ahhhh!!!

 

[Canadian Joanne]

Taximother, I think you're doing really well dealing with all that dementia can throw at you. You have the right attitude in that it's the disease saying and doing all the horrible things.

I'm very glad TP has been helpful to you and I hope it continues to be so.