Carers staying over their time

[Littleanna]

This is such a strange issue ( if it is) my dad has carers 4 times a day, has dementia and lives alone, I visit 4-5 times weekly. I have asked for a limited amount of carers to visit my dad for consistency etc which the care agency have given me. He has two carers in particular who are not really local to my dad so if they are seeing to him for most of the day and they don’t have other visits they literally just stay in his flat until it’s time for the next visit. Examples I can give are last Sunday I was due to do the lunch call and the morning carer was on all day apart from lunch and she sat in a bedroom during my visit playing on her phone, she was there from 9.15 am to 8.20 pm! Tonight a carer has been there from lunch time to evening visit ( 6 hours) ! I have never know this happen as I assumed carers were rushed off their feet. It’s not like I don t trust them it’s just I’m not sure whether I think this is right or not? They don’t sit and talk to my dad as he isn’t really communicative. My big question is I’m sure they wouldn’t do this if my dad lived with someone so I feel that somehow they are taking advantage of a vulnerable man. I should add that he’s in bed a lot so he doesn’t know whether they are there or not.
Should I say something to the care agency, I just don’t want to create problems as I know I have to pick my battles !
Is this against their rules? Advice please

 

[SherwoodSue]

I don’t think I would be happy about this.

You can’t visit your loved one in privacy or plan an outing.

My mum would find this exhausting

I think I would have a calm chat with the agency.

Mother in law had one carer who would make her half a can of soup for lunch ( that’s all she could eat) and stay to eat the other half in the carers official lunch break after the call had ‘ended‘

It was only half an hour and very much enjoyed by MIL who liked eating in company.

Dont tell the office tho said carer. Clearly this isn’t accepted practice then
Hmmmm

 

[sdmhred]

How bizarre…..I’m guessing they don’t want the extra hassle of driving back and associated petrol costs but why no other work 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Have they explained themselves to you? Or have u said anything light hearted to them?

My instinct like yours is that its not ok….but are they good carers? Can you easily replace them? That would also be in my mind…..not that it makes it right tho…

 

[jennifer1967]

are you paying for this extra time that your dad doesnt need. they need to maybe wait in their car if no other visits to others planned. family visits are important and need privacy.

 

[Spottydog]

It sounds like they don't have enough work to go round. I found this article very insightful https://www.theguardian.com/society...dream-of-life-as-a-uk-care-worker-turned-sour

 

[Littleanna]

are you paying for this extra time that your dad doesnt need. they need to maybe wait in their car if no other visits to others planned. family visits are important and need privacy.

No I’m only paying them for the actual visit and I can I understand not wanting to traipse around the streets in between but for some reason it just doesn’t sit right with me . I thought carers were rushed off their feet

 

[Littleanna]

I don’t think I would be happy about this.

You can’t visit your loved one in privacy or plan an outing.

My mum would find this exhausting

I think I would have a calm chat with the agency.

Mother in law had one carer who would make her half a can of soup for lunch ( that’s all she could eat) and stay to eat the other half in the carers official lunch break after the call had ‘ended‘

It was only half an hour and very much enjoyed by MIL who liked eating in company.

Dont tell the office tho said carer. Clearly this isn’t accepted practice then
Hmmmm

I know it’s odd isn’t it ? Because I am my dads only spokesperson I feel like I’m letting something slip by me, as I said I do trust them but am conscious of not blurring the lines, I don’t know where they would stand if he had an accident and they were there but not meant to be if you know what I mean

 

[Littleanna]

I don’t think I would be happy about this.

You can’t visit your loved one in privacy or plan an outing.

My mum would find this exhausting

I think I would have a calm chat with the agency.

Mother in law had one carer who would make her half a can of soup for lunch ( that’s all she could eat) and stay to eat the other half in the carers official lunch break after the call had ‘ended‘

It was only half an hour and very much enjoyed by MIL who liked eating in company.

Dont tell the office tho said carer. Clearly this isn’t accepted practice then
Hmmmm

I know it’s odd isn’t it ? Because I am my dads only spokesperson I feel like I’m letting something slip by me, as I said I do trust them but am conscious of not blurring the lines, I don’t know where they would stand if he had an accident and they were there but not meant to be if you know what I mean x

How bizarre…..I’m guessing they don’t want the extra hassle of driving back and associated petrol costs but why no other work 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Have they explained themselves to you? Or have u said anything light hearted to them?

My instinct like yours is that its not ok….but are they good carers? Can you easily replace them? That would also be in my mind…..not that it makes it right tho…

i think I’ve been with this agency for a long time and we have definitely been through some ups and downs. I’ve learnt to pick my battles otherwise I would literally be complaining most days but I also know most care agencies are similar. The girls who see to him are quite nice actually so need to decide whether to fight this battle or not. I think with everyone’s comments I will definitely not accept them being there when I am, the rest of the time I may have to swallow it