Hi Redver,
Welcome to TP from me too! I just wanted to agree with Katrine. Dad was in hospital for 3 months before he was able to move into a Nursing Home, and although he was unhappy about being there, he had forgotten all about it within days. He had to stay so long because he was very ill, and was not expected to survive. (That was nearly 2 years ago, and he is still going strong!) When the hospital decided that he would be discharged, they managed to arrange a Best Interests Meeting to discuss what his needs were and then move him into a Nursing Home in under a week! While I was waiting for the meeting, I'd thought that we would be likely to be told he needed EMI Nursing care, so I'd gone to look at homes on my own initiative. The home we liked had one bed available and the Manager agreed to hold it for us until the meeting.
It sounds as though your Mum may not be at that stage yet. Do you think she'll cope with carers coming in, or do you think she'd be better in a residential setting? I'd speak to the local Alzheimers Society to find out what's available. We're over the water in Wirral, but I think there is a group in Liverpool. One of the positives I found when Dad became ill, was the kindness of people wherever I went for help. The lady from Alzheimers Society who helped me has left now, but she was so supportive when I didn't know where to turn. I work full-time too, so she would phone me in the evening to talk things through. Our CPN (community psychiatric nurse) was very good at keeping me informed while Dad was still at home, and she helped with practical things like getting Attendance Allowance, and talking to him about what help he might need. (She wasn't a miracle worker, so she didn't get him to accept any help, and that's how he ended up in hospital. But Dad has Vascular Dementia and just refused to believe that there was anything wrong with him.)
Keep posting. You'll get lots of advice on here, and there is always someone who has experience of what you're going through. And it's not all doom and gloom either. I'm sorry that you're feeling so low at the moment, but that's to be expected if the diagnosis has come as a shock. Get the care plan put into place, and then see how you feel. Many people have been able to keep their relatives at home, and many of us who have been unable to do that, have still got good relationships with our loved ones in their nursing homes. Once you accept that you can't change things, then you learn to make the best of the situation. My Dad doesn't always know who I am, but he knows I'm always there for him and is (usually!) pleased to see me. He can't stand up and is incontinent, so I could not deal with that. I used to feel guilty, but now I accept that I'm doing the best that I can do for him. Once I'd got rid of the guilt, I felt a lot better about things.
Hope it all works out for you soon,
Sue