Care home cant handle dad

[Jnightingale]

My dad has been in a care home for 4,weeks after he just got too much for my mum to care for at home. Today we have been told that after Monday (its Friday today) they are no longer willing to accomodate him due to his behaviour. He apparently has been a bit aggresive on occassions.we are at a loss as to what to do now. We have till Monday to find a 'plan b' which seems very short notice. Any ideas would be appreciated.
Maybe no other care homes will want him.

 

[fizzie]

This care home is being ridiculous to tell you on a Thursday you need a plan by Monday. Of course there will be another care home that will take him and he will probably be better off there too. I would ask the care home to give you detail of why they cannot handle his behaviour and to give you examples.

Is he funded? If so give social services a ring tomorrow and insist on speaking to a SW and tell them what you have been told. They should come up with alternative homes that you can go and have a look at
Don't be rushed and make it clear to the care home that you won't be rushed into a decision. This is your dad's future and it is important that the new home is accessible to you all so that he can have visits as well as that they can help him.

If I were you I would go and look at the homes unannounced over the weekend with a list of things to look for

http://www.ageuk.org.uk/home-and-care/care-homes/care-home-checklist/location-and-building/

Check on the Care Quality Commission website that anywhere you look at has a baseline of 'Good'
http://www.cqc.org.uk/content/inspection-reports

Usually these things turn out for the best. lots to do but it will be ok and we are here to support you xxx

 

[Jnightingale]

Thank you

Thanks Fizzie

 

[99purdy]

Hi, just read your post and it really hit a nerve. I have been in exactly the same position, dad has been in his EMI unit for over 2 years. Care home given really bad rating by CQC and are now blaming patients saying they should never have been placed there!! Dad is challenging, but they knew this before they took him on, after many safeguarding issues they now are saying they cannot cope with him. I am so annoyed, he is ill for goodness sake. They have new owners who now see challenging behaviour as a no go. You know what I am so annoyed, how dare they suddenly decide that Dad has been wrongly placed. He now regards care home as his home and to move home would be detrimental to him. This is a serious illness and should be treated as such. What I would suggest is contact the emergency mental health team to see if any medication would help you Dad. Also contact your local authority and explain the situation. Also contact CQC and your safeguarding team. In my local authority they have been very very supportive and we are working through a solution which will hopefully benefit Dad. Please do not be bullied by the care home they have a duty of care to your Dad, to give you a few days notice is an absolute nonsense. Please stay strong and do not be pushed into any corners you Dad is your main concern. X

 

[fizzie]

I would just say that Purdy's Dad has been in a specialist unit for 2 years whereas your Dad has only been in a home for 4 weeks and if they say they cannot cope during the settling in period then it may not be the right place for him. It is a very different situation

 

[99purdy]

Whilst I agree fizzle that you may see it as a different situation, I would like to disagree, constructively I hope. Unfortunately there appears to be culture within some care homes of offering the world then suddenly backing off when the going gets tough. What happens to the poor souls who are passed from pillar to post because they are deemed unsuitable. I feel very strongly that you can not offer somebody a home then 4 weeks down the line decide that they are no longer suitable. I find that incredible and unfortunately it seems to happen a lot, care homes need to be more rigorous with their selection criteria. Some care homes are brilliant but some unfortunately fail, with diasterous consequences. It is so upsetting when your loved is placed into a home then you are told no sorry not suitable can you find somewhere else. It can have a devastating effect on some poor patients and I strongly believe that this should not be allowed to happen. From a personal point of view I would not like anybody to be in the position that I and my family have been in. X

 

[fizzie]

Whilst I agree fizzle that you may see it as a different situation, I would like to disagree, constructively I hope. Unfortunately there appears to be culture within some care homes of offering the world then suddenly backing off when the going gets tough. What happens to the poor souls who are passed from pillar to post because they are deemed unsuitable. I feel very strongly that you can not offer somebody a home then 4 weeks down the line decide that they are no longer suitable. I find that incredible and unfortunately it seems to happen a lot, care homes need to be more rigorous with their selection criteria. Some care homes are brilliant but some unfortunately fail, with diasterous consequences. It is so upsetting when your loved is placed into a home then you are told no sorry not suitable can you find somewhere else. It can have a devastating effect on some poor patients and I strongly believe that this should not be allowed to happen. From a personal point of view I would not like anybody to be in the position that I and my family have been in. X

Yes I understand Purdy and to a large extent I agree with you. I probably didn't frame that response correctly. I think in many ways you are in a much worse situation because somewhere truly is 'home' for both resident and relatives after 2 years and any change is hugely upsetting - although I would rather they held up their hands and said they couldn't cope than let someone suffer. I think I meant that sometimes during the settling in period it becomes apparent that it isn't the right place for an individual for whatever reason and it is better to move them at that point as seemlessly as possible before there is a problem because the home is not right for them. I hope that make it a bit more understandable. I do think that one of the big problems with dementia is that it doesn't follow a prescribed course and sometimes people need even more specialist help although I think that your situation is particularly disturbing because it is directly related to the CQC rating which has obviously raised issues about staffing and staff training and the company that run the home don't want to deal with it they just want fast improvement by moving on more challenging residents! I think that is disgraceful and I am really sorry that you are having to deal with it, you clearly chose a home with an EMI unit carefully.I am really sorry that you have all had to go through that. I hope that your Dad is settled?

 

[99purdy]

Thanks for your reply fizzle, I do understand where you are coming from, definitely agree. I feel so sorry for jnightengale, please do not think no other care home will want your lovely dad. It really is a terrible situation to be in when you think nobody wants you lovely family member, especially when they are so ill and doing things that they would never dream of doing before. Unfortunately fizzie I am still trying to find a suitable placement for Dad. I can say that the support from CQC, safeguarding and local authority have been fantastic. I really feel they are on my side. Dad is just starting some more medication that hopefully will improve his behaviour, however as you say dementia follows which ever route it wants. I just want him to be happy and well looked after in a care home that do not see him as a hindrance but as a patient with challenging needs, caused by a particularly nasty illness. X

 

[fizzie]

Thanks for your reply fizzle, I do understand where you are coming from, definitely agree. I feel so sorry for jnightengale, please do not think no other care home will want your lovely dad. It really is a terrible situation to be in when you think nobody wants you lovely family member, especially when they are so ill and doing things that they would never dream of doing before. Unfortunately fizzie I am still trying to find a suitable placement for Dad. I can say that the support from CQC, safeguarding and local authority have been fantastic. I really feel they are on my side. Dad is just starting some more medication that hopefully will improve his behaviour, however as you say dementia follows which ever route it wants. I just want him to be happy and well looked after in a care home that do not see him as a hindrance but as a patient with challenging needs, caused by a particularly nasty illness. X

oh Purdy i really do hope that you find somewhere lovely for your Dad to be xx