Care Home can't cope. Need advice

[DougFlo]

My Mum has been in her care home for 2 years, and we have bern working with the mental health team about her hallucinations and general distress.

This now seems to be much better following changes to her medication, but has given Mum a need to be 'on the go' quite a bit. She normally stays in her room as she finds the communal areas too noisy and distressing, but has recently been found in the lift, walking up stairs (not steady enough on her feet to do this) and she does get aggressive and agitated particularly in the evenings. She sleeps well during the night.

The home have now said they can't cope with her and cannot keep her safe and so we need to fund her somewhere else to live or she needs 1:1 support ehich is obviously going to cost us a fortune as she is self funded.

We had a look at several care homes this weekend and out of 8 we visited we only liked one that had current availibility. They said they would do an assessment but I have worries if they say they cannot cope.

(Some of the homes we looked at were disgusting and should not even be allowed to operate in my opinion.)

Not even sure how we source 1:1 care for the daytime for Mum.

Pinning all my hopes on this new home, but don't really know what we can do if they say no.

Any help would be much appreciated

 

[Grannie G]

Fingers crossed for you @DougFlo

My husband had challenging behaviour and it was soul destroying looking for care homes. Once he was in a suitable home and settled, his behaviour was challenging no more.

I do hope the home you like will accept your mother. If their staff are dementia trained they should accept her willingly.

 

[canary]

Im wondering what sort of care home your Mum is in @DougFlo .
The care home that mum was in and the place my OH went for respite did not allow any of the residents to go up and down the stairs unaccompanied - there was a door with a key pad to stop them. They really should be able to cope with the other things that you have mentioned too.

I think that she will probably need a dedicated dementia unit/EMI to be able to meet her needs.

When you look at care homes try and look past the decor and furnishings. What is of primary importance is the care. Much better to have good care in shabby accommodation than poor care in a beautiful home.
The place my mum was in was a small dedicated dementia home which was shabby and needed redecorating, but the care was excellent and mum was happy there.

Ask the manager how they would deal with your mums behaviour - any "woolly" answers will probably mean that they do not have the experience. Also ask them what sort of behaviour they would not tolerate. At your mums stage of the dementia you dont want to have to move her again.