Care home assessment

[leslee]

We've been to look at nursing homes today. I knew they had to assess Mam before she moved into one but didn't realise that they would come to Mam's home to do this. Is she likely to suss out what's going on through this? We haven't mentioned anything about care homes to her as she's adamant she's to stay in her own house. What else is likely to happen before she moves? How long between the assessment and the actual move.

We have narrowed it down to 2 homes. Neither are in our town as there were only 3 that could cater for her needs. One has a long waiting list, one was very grim and the other wouldn't show us round as they didn't have enough staff as they had an emergency (decided that this wasn't good). They told us to come back on Monday. I don't drive but one of the good homes is handy for public transport. The other one isn't but the staff are very well qualified and there is 1 member of staff to 4 residents which is the best we found.

 

[Jo1958]

Leslee, hi
I would have a word with the people who are coming out to do the assessment and explain about your mum, I've found them to be more than helpful in the way they handle situations and understanding and the more they know in advance the better they can deal with the situation. If your mum would accept, say, someone coming to see if she needs any aids or help in the house, or people doing market research on how wonderful older people cope in their homes these days! you get the picture.

You have obviously done lots of work to find the right care homes, I hope this next stage works well and I look forward to hearing how it happens on the day.
With best wishes from Jo

 

[FifiMo]

Leslee,

Does your mum have a social worker? If so they can often do the assessment by talking with the social worker rather than doing a visit. Just make sure that they are told beforehand that your mum is not aware that she is moving to a care home and that it would distress her. You could say the person has come to talk to you about finding a nice place that your mum could go stay in for a week whilst you're away on holiday. As to timing, it can be as short as a couple of days if they have a vacancy. If you think about it empty beds in a care home costs them money so they do tend to move quickly once assessments have been done and all the other ticks are in the boxes.

Fiona
x

 

[kingmidas1962]

my dad was going in for respite (initially, although it became permanent) and the manager of his care home came out to see him - on the pretext that, as he was going to be a very special guest of theirs for a while, while my mum had a rest, they needed to know all about him to make sure his stay was pleasant.

I'm not sure if that's any help but it worked for us - he is still in his care home, and happy, and they know him really well - I'm sure a lot of this was due to this careful introduction and all the knowledge they have accumulated about him over the weeks and months.

 

[leslee]

Thanks everyone. Mam's had an assessment done by the social worker but the homes still seem to want an assessment carried out by themselves. It's all going to depend on speaking to the manager of one of our selected homes. She has a waiting list but can sometimes put people at the top according to circumstances. I think it's going to be the one that's handy for me to get to as they have empty beds. It needs to be asap really as she's started using buckets as downstairs toilets now that we've put the kitchen bin outside. She's also started rummaging through the wheelie bin!

 

[PaulaJ]

CPN advised us Mum should not be told, she could only retain information for such a short time there was no point in upsetting her, there was no way she would agree to move. Must admit care home assessor was not really happy with this approach, but in the end she agreed to say that our doctor had asked her to pop in for a chat. We did move mum later to the care home, and even after many months we sometimes have the 'it's ok here but I want to go home' discussion. As to which of her previous homes she is referring is another matter, it's clearly mostly not the one she left.

The reason she is not too keen is that 'it's full of old people', she is one of the oldest they have.

 

[leslee]

My Mam would forget 5 minutes after being told she was moving to a CH too. That's another reason that it's pointless telling her. She has become suspicious of the visits from the social worker but only for a few minutes after she's gone.

When Mam went for respite care a few years ago she said she didn't like it because the people there were all nuts! She's terrible for making inappropriate comments. She'll point and laugh at overweight people!!!!!!

 

[at wits end]

with my gran they did the assessment one afternoon and took her the next. It was initially for respite and as gran had been poorly at that point she happily went with them. We paid for St Johns Ambulance to move her so we didnt have the argument and I went to the home earlier in the day with a few emergency things for her, then went back and packed a bag properly after she had left.

Its very sad but also the best thing i did for my own sanity.

 

[Witzend]

My mother's CH sent someone to do an assessment and I was freaking out, since she tended to be suspicious and a bit paranoid anyway, and would have gone off the deep end if she'd thought any social worker was involved (to her, rather living in the past, they were only for the feckless and improvident).

It was quite a while ago now so I forget the details but whoever they sent was very tactful and managed it fine - it didn't take long and was really a tick-box exercise since we'd already explained in detail to the CH manager the stage she was at, what she could and couldn't do, etc. Should add that she had no idea she was going to a CH, and would have been furiously indignant if such a thing had been mentioned.

One worry beforehand was how the person would speak to her - I had to meet her at the door and say NOT to talk about her over her head, and particularly not to refer to her as 'mum' over her head (which she hated!) plus I gave her my phone no. for anything we couldn't discuss there and then.

 

[donque]

Inapprpriate assessors

My first warning bells were when the homes assessor came in I was there with my mum and her social worker - he barely acknowledged my mum as a person and did not try to bond and went straight into the paper assessment and ticking boxes during this time he asked my mum what her numbers ones and numbers twos were like - my mum told him she thought he was very rude and I agreed it was completely inappropriate the social worker said nothing -
my mum was much more cognitive then just over a year ago
I told the home about the assessor they just said they would deal with it
these were my first warning bells for this home
the next was no one could answer my questions re care etc as per the list given out by organisations it took me weeks to arrange an appointment to go and see someone at the home to discuss these things - I made an appointment wrote all my questions out to save time - he barely answered the questions made me feel like I was just a nuisance and why was I asking so many questions ....he then stopped me after 30 minutes and said he had no more time I explained that as I had waited so long for the appointment I was expecting at least half an hour to get through all the questions that was my second warning bell - I was pressurised by the ss to put my mum in this home it had a good reputation but these 2 warning signs I got I should have listened to as I had nothing but problems ever since any time I raised issues re my mums care/health it was meant with a totally defensive attacking attitude rather than a can fix attitude and now the home as given my mum notice to quit to get rid of me after accusing me of abusing and harrassing staff
if you get any warning bells do not proceed thats all I can say
Its time that all these pro dementia organisations put pressure on the government to stop care homes unfair contracts where they can get rid of any one for any reason they choose and use this sword over your head to shut up relatives who have genuine issues that need addressing - now my mum has been assessed by 3 new homes who have rejected her because of whats on her file re the conflict between them and me because of their attitude towards real care issues, so now any new assessor is dipping into a poisoned well and of course they believe the home - they have also exaggerated my mothers care needs and have said she needs 2 carers for personal care all the time - I know this is not true as I am there most days and rarely see 2 carers take her to the toilet as rarely are two available to do this and I take her myself alone when at the home and when out with her - they have also said my mum is hostile but she has barely been free of UTIs since arriving at the home and this makes her hostile rather than being a hostile person - she has had more UTIs in this home than she has had most of her life ......

 

[Witzend]

We've been to look at nursing homes today. I knew they had to assess Mam before she moved into one but didn't realise that they would come to Mam's home to do this. Is she likely to suss out what's going on through this? We haven't mentioned anything about care homes to her as she's adamant she's to stay in her own house.

I too was very worried when SS were sent to do an assessment at home before my mother went into the CH. We had never needed to involve SS before and my mother would have had a pink fit at the thought of any social worker coming to assess her. Also, we had not even mentioned care homes - there was no point since she would simply have refused to go. Although she was very bad by then, according to her there was absolutely nothing wrong with her.

However, the person they sent was very pleasant and discreet and my mother had no idea. It was really something of a tick-box formality - there was no way on earth anyone who'd never met her before could possibly 'assess' her properly in half an hour. But it all went perfectly well - I do hope your worries will be similarly needless. I would certainly try to have a discreet word beforehand, though.

PS: I can't remember exactly now, it was quite a while ago, but I think we told my mother that the SW was a 'health visitor' or similar, coming from the GP just to see how she was - she had recently had quite a bad fall. Perhaps you could use something similar if saying 'social worker' might set cats among pigeons?