Hi all
My brain is overloaded so I'm going to dump here and hope for a few opinions or perspectives.
Mum has mixed dementia, middle stage I think. She lives at home with 24 hour care - a day and night sitter because she doesn't sleep. My brother was staying with her for 4 days or so a week since Christmas but last month he had hit carers breakdown and can't continue. We had hoped at this point Mum would agree to move to a Care Home but she is dead against the idea. She won't even try a Respite stay. And so the care costs are astronomical - £7500 a fortnight. Mums savings are disappearing and will be spent out in approximately 2 months.
I am waiting SS involvement, and apparently they will be in touch with me in the next 3 weeks to do a financial assessment, capacity assessment and Best Interests Meeting. I don't know what to expect will happen, but I've been told that often SS swoop in at the last minute or at crisis and within a few days Mum could be moved. I'm wracked with worry as assumed up until this morning that this is probably inevitable as the only option is for her to move to sell the house (though what does that even look like when she's refusing??) SS told me they would only fund a maximum of 4 care calls a day at home, which is obviously not enough.
However I had a call with a lady from Care Rights earlier today who told me that there are options for Mum to continue with care at home. She said occasionally the LA will provide 24 hour care, equity can be taken from the house, or there's a Discretionary Deferred Payment Agreement that can be considered to allow her to pay the care costs.
Now I feel out of my depth. Mum is so terrified of moving, she's settled at home with the current care workers and the progression of her dementia has slowed, her anxiety has lessened and she's put on weight since she's had 24/7 care. She is managing well at the moment, albeit I do worry about her quality of life because she never goes out and doesn't engage in anything at home - her mood is often low. I feel like it would be best to continue at home, even if just for a short while longer, however the care costs are so high, I'm worried that it would be a mistake financially further down the line. I'm also worried it's going to be lots of work to make that happen, and that I'll come up against opposition rather than support from SS, and I'm not sure I'm mentally up to the workload. I'm running on such little capacity with a toddler and 6 year old also to take care of.
I do have LPA, thankfully managed to get that sorted just before Mum lost capacity.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated. I feel so isolated and worried.
thanks
My brain is overloaded so I'm going to dump here and hope for a few opinions or perspectives.
Mum has mixed dementia, middle stage I think. She lives at home with 24 hour care - a day and night sitter because she doesn't sleep. My brother was staying with her for 4 days or so a week since Christmas but last month he had hit carers breakdown and can't continue. We had hoped at this point Mum would agree to move to a Care Home but she is dead against the idea. She won't even try a Respite stay. And so the care costs are astronomical - £7500 a fortnight. Mums savings are disappearing and will be spent out in approximately 2 months.
I am waiting SS involvement, and apparently they will be in touch with me in the next 3 weeks to do a financial assessment, capacity assessment and Best Interests Meeting. I don't know what to expect will happen, but I've been told that often SS swoop in at the last minute or at crisis and within a few days Mum could be moved. I'm wracked with worry as assumed up until this morning that this is probably inevitable as the only option is for her to move to sell the house (though what does that even look like when she's refusing??) SS told me they would only fund a maximum of 4 care calls a day at home, which is obviously not enough.
However I had a call with a lady from Care Rights earlier today who told me that there are options for Mum to continue with care at home. She said occasionally the LA will provide 24 hour care, equity can be taken from the house, or there's a Discretionary Deferred Payment Agreement that can be considered to allow her to pay the care costs.
Now I feel out of my depth. Mum is so terrified of moving, she's settled at home with the current care workers and the progression of her dementia has slowed, her anxiety has lessened and she's put on weight since she's had 24/7 care. She is managing well at the moment, albeit I do worry about her quality of life because she never goes out and doesn't engage in anything at home - her mood is often low. I feel like it would be best to continue at home, even if just for a short while longer, however the care costs are so high, I'm worried that it would be a mistake financially further down the line. I'm also worried it's going to be lots of work to make that happen, and that I'll come up against opposition rather than support from SS, and I'm not sure I'm mentally up to the workload. I'm running on such little capacity with a toddler and 6 year old also to take care of.
I do have LPA, thankfully managed to get that sorted just before Mum lost capacity.
Any thoughts would be much appreciated. I feel so isolated and worried.
thanks
