Hello
My wife and Iare 69. She has been diagnosed with Undetermined Cause Dementia as I asked the Doctor not to put her through hospital tests if she felt there was no effective treatment. It's Alzheimers given the symptoms but she is in denial and I see no point in making her confront this as she is currently quite happy. She can't cook, drive, operate a phone or make a reliable cup of tea and I have to organise her clothes, bathe and cook for her. She doesn't remember yesterday or where she worked and spends a lot of time making sure she knows where her hankies, comb, specs and sunglasses are. When she loses something (Often) I basically let her get on with looking for it unless I can point to it .We have been together since 15 and frankly, I am happy now I've come to terms with it and learned not to get impatient or try to use logic if she wants to buy more shampoo at the supermarket when we already have about three years supply.
She still enjoys the moment: TV comedy, Meals Out, Holiday Sun, Family gatherings, Goin to Shows etc and we are ticking off places to see and things to do while that remains the case.
I spent years building a business with her looking after kids and home so I am OK with the roles are reversed. It feels very much like being a single parent to a 4 year old with time running in reverse. I am fortunate in that she realises she needs my help and is grateful for it. We have been together since 15 and I quite enjoy looking after her. But I am worrying about the later stages. I very much want to care for her in her own home provided I survive long enough. She hates meeting new pe. Sle and socialising with new groups. So a care home would be her idea of hell. I have made the appropriate arrangements in my will and POA . But we can't predice how long we both live.
I read this forum with so many people having a bad time and looking to place their OH in a home at the end and wonder if anyone else has experience of caring for their loved one at home once they are both older and what preparations they feel would be appropriate.
My wife and Iare 69. She has been diagnosed with Undetermined Cause Dementia as I asked the Doctor not to put her through hospital tests if she felt there was no effective treatment. It's Alzheimers given the symptoms but she is in denial and I see no point in making her confront this as she is currently quite happy. She can't cook, drive, operate a phone or make a reliable cup of tea and I have to organise her clothes, bathe and cook for her. She doesn't remember yesterday or where she worked and spends a lot of time making sure she knows where her hankies, comb, specs and sunglasses are. When she loses something (Often) I basically let her get on with looking for it unless I can point to it .We have been together since 15 and frankly, I am happy now I've come to terms with it and learned not to get impatient or try to use logic if she wants to buy more shampoo at the supermarket when we already have about three years supply.
She still enjoys the moment: TV comedy, Meals Out, Holiday Sun, Family gatherings, Goin to Shows etc and we are ticking off places to see and things to do while that remains the case.
I spent years building a business with her looking after kids and home so I am OK with the roles are reversed. It feels very much like being a single parent to a 4 year old with time running in reverse. I am fortunate in that she realises she needs my help and is grateful for it. We have been together since 15 and I quite enjoy looking after her. But I am worrying about the later stages. I very much want to care for her in her own home provided I survive long enough. She hates meeting new pe. Sle and socialising with new groups. So a care home would be her idea of hell. I have made the appropriate arrangements in my will and POA . But we can't predice how long we both live.
I read this forum with so many people having a bad time and looking to place their OH in a home at the end and wonder if anyone else has experience of caring for their loved one at home once they are both older and what preparations they feel would be appropriate.