1. Pollyanna153

    Pollyanna153 Registered User

    Jul 15, 2015
    41
    How do people cope I look after my husband he has dementia
    The feeling of loneliness and isolation is sometimes really bad
    To a great extent I cope but I get nights when I go to bed and no matter how hard I try reading, colouring, sleep pillow i struggle and usually just finish up in tears
    Tears probably relieve the stress but is it very hard
     
  2. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    (((Pollyanna))) I am sleepless tonight too - but I don't have to spend tomorrow caring for someone else. Do you get any help and support with looking after your husband?
     
  3. Pollyanna153

    Pollyanna153 Registered User

    Jul 15, 2015
    41
    To be honest actually caring for him is not as bad as it can be he washes himself it is the little things sometimes that get to me he sees outside houses being rebuilt he is calm and I suppose happy in his world. He can do dishes and keep the place tidy it is more logic and understanding what I say he has hallucinations
    It has been going on for at least four years
    I think what is hard now that sounds awful that he like my shadow he doesn't really go anywhere unless I with him I can go out for a few hours in the day and leave him
    It is really the 24/7 mental strain like he is a shell of who he used to be and I losing him gradually all the time
    I can't have conversations any more
    I probably feeling sorry for myself
    He s starting at a day centre this week and I hope that if I get some breathing space it will help me to feel better
    I do have friends to talk to but like anything the middle of the night is the hardest time
     
  4. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    441
    I am glad he is starting day care. Let yourself have a few hours doing something for yourself, even if it's just a relaxing bath or catching up on favourite TV, you deserve it.
     
  5. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,890
    Female
    Scotland
    Pollyanna, day care will be a start to a new you. As soon as he is settled ask for a second day. There is often a waiting list so you are better to get his name in while you can. By the end of this year you may well have three days and by then you start to feel like a person again in your own right.

    I know only too well how depressing it is to have your life taken over 24/7 by dementia and with a partner who can no longer share interests and enthusiasms.

    Good wishes.
     
  6. Pollyanna153

    Pollyanna153 Registered User

    Jul 15, 2015
    41
    Thank you I have been told start with one day and in a couple of weeks do,two days there is space for me to do that
    Hopefully I may get that week for me which I have promised myself for st least two years here's hoping
     
  7. Aisling

    Aisling Registered User

    Dec 5, 2015
    1,807
    Ireland
    You are not feeling sorry for yourself. I hope day centre works out for you. It will give you a break and you know you need a break.

    TP is great. I have been on it in the middle of the night!

    Hugs from Ireland

    Aisling
     
  8. 1mindy

    1mindy Registered User

    Jul 21, 2015
    539
    Female
    Shropshire
    The sleep thing is a real problem for many I would think. A couple of weeks ago once the main bedroom in our new home was decorated I moved to the room on my own ( very girly decor and by far the best bedroom , my haven ). Oh didn't seem to notice, my sleep improved but I have the door open to listen for his night time wanderings. Last night putting him back to bed he walked straight into the dormer eaves cutting his head and nearly knocking himself out. So today we organised the single room with no dormer and he is in there tonight, he seems fine. Never questioned why he sleeps alone. He sounds at about the same stage as your OH. Would moving to your own room help I wonder .
     
  9. Pollyanna153

    Pollyanna153 Registered User

    Jul 15, 2015
    41
    Thank you for your reply we do sound like a similar stage
    I recently moved into my own recently decorated bedroom like you say my haven
    My husband in the bigger bedroom wardrobes in there so he puts clothes away maybe not in the right place haha. But it ok
    I do come on talking point in the middle of the night
    I have rang a carer helpline 24 hour in the middle if the night but never got through they say they are recruiting but that didn't help me so my poor sister was woken in the early hours
    Sometimes you need a voice on the other end of the line or just a hug which to me is a lifesaver
    So big hugs to you and look after. Yourself
     
  10. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Hope you're able to get more days at day care for your husband. Can't give any advice about sleep, my husband went into full time care last November and it's only been the past few weeks that I've started to get back to a fairly 'normal' sleep pattern. Huge hug and make the most of your time out. x


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.