Can't ever even know what to do
- Thread starter MatthewB
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Oh Matthew, my husband also needs some help now so I understand how you feel. It must be so hard for you but you have your Lisa to care for you. God bless you Matthew, you are a special person.
Hello Matthew, one of the things that my husband enjoys and which brings colour to his life is listening to Gospel music. He mainly listens on YouTube. Maybe Lisa could help you find some music like that.
I hope you managed to get some sleep @MatthewB. You are a very kind and thoughtful person and your posts show how deeply hurt you are trying to make sense about what is happening to you. Use your faith to accept how things are and what can’t be changed. Use your faith to accept help and support from Lisa and others. They are all there to hold you up, as we are here to listen and offer our support too. I pray your colours begin to brighten again.
You are such a lovely man @MatthewB
I noticed that you replied to another member who has dementia to help him. I bet you have always been independent and tried to help others around you.
There are times in our lives when we can help others and there are times in our lives when we have to receive help - and that is OK. You are not helpless, you can still do things, its just that with dementia you need a bit more help. Trust in the Lord and also trust your Lisa
xx
I noticed that you replied to another member who has dementia to help him. I bet you have always been independent and tried to help others around you.
There are times in our lives when we can help others and there are times in our lives when we have to receive help - and that is OK. You are not helpless, you can still do things, its just that with dementia you need a bit more help. Trust in the Lord and also trust your Lisa
xx
Yes yes trust in the Lord and my darling is so right good thank you thank you your kindness
Is is so good be be reminded of the power of faith in him was such a good message to read thank you I'm very grateful
Yes I'm I'm some I'm got some hours I think is think more good this time thank you I'm appreciate
So so much to thank you for that blessing and my youngest boy is show on them to you you tube thing some minutes ago about some good hymns songs was listen to I am his and he is mine is make my heart more happy you are I'm I'm remember you you are always so nice God bless you
Hi Matt
Sorry I have missed your messages. I hope listening to the hymns helps. Mum and I find the Christian music and Bible verses so comforting.
What are the family suggesting for you? Is it an alarm you wear to press? A camera in the house or someone coming round to be with you?
I had cameras in the house to look after mum. Perhaps see them as helping Lisa more than you? They helped me not to worry about mum as I could see she was ok? I never needed to rush home and she was always ok but it enabled me to have her at home on her own safely .
Or if they want a carer come round - perhaps ask them to choose one who will actually enable you to do more. Get one who can drive you out in the big truck, or can take you to the woods - or to do some electrical fixing with. Perhaps you can teach them a thing or two From your life experience???
Matt your such a great guy that you would be a pleasure to spend time with.
Hope this helps!
Sorry I have missed your messages. I hope listening to the hymns helps. Mum and I find the Christian music and Bible verses so comforting.
What are the family suggesting for you? Is it an alarm you wear to press? A camera in the house or someone coming round to be with you?
I had cameras in the house to look after mum. Perhaps see them as helping Lisa more than you? They helped me not to worry about mum as I could see she was ok? I never needed to rush home and she was always ok but it enabled me to have her at home on her own safely .
Or if they want a carer come round - perhaps ask them to choose one who will actually enable you to do more. Get one who can drive you out in the big truck, or can take you to the woods - or to do some electrical fixing with. Perhaps you can teach them a thing or two From your life experience???
Matt your such a great guy that you would be a pleasure to spend time with.
Hope this helps!
Howdy howdy is good to hear from you they say is a thing you have can make them know some way where you are if you just get lost and can call some help but I don't need no help I'm getting lost but generally I can find home except for them one time times times the home health say thing is is some one can come over to my house and his check I'm not sure what all but I'm no he that doctor say is too much rash insect thing from them continent and not do so hot to being enough clean and put on the medicine and you he wants somebody to look at dad and I I don't like and I don't like that is some bad verse embarrassed but I'm trying to be what is oh yeah cooperate co-op cooperate yeah that and not make them feel bad but honest honestly is is make me feel kind of weird but you words always always help so God bless you little sister and thank you very much
I’m sorry you’re having a hard time Matthew. I work with some older people and I see they have so much fear that they are being babysat. I promise that not all of us carers are like that! Mostly what we try to do is to help people get out for a walk or to a cafe. Help them to do their old hobbies. It can be more enjoyable doing things together. I also keep people company since the day can be long if you’re alone. Carers can find out what you want to do, and give you some company and friendship and help out a bit here and there with things like housework. It can feel scary to let a new person into your life, but before you know it, you can get to know them and enjoy having some company and a helping hand around your home. Having someone to help isn’t a sign of weakness, it is really being kind to your family by letting them help you, just like you would help them if they needed some help. I hope you can find some peace during this time of change. Take care
That is a good say thing you say I love to make new friends I'm never think of about that so thank you very much I'm hope everybody here can know I'm sorry wine so many but God love you all is help me to know see that I have I'm have fight the wrong thing should be fight my old pride instead of the folks is tried to do right by me like you said Lord help me to put away pride and act act accept the way things are without to be anger or frustrate yeah I know is true how that is supposed to be thank you all so much
Matthew, you are not whining, you have a lot to get used to. I hope that you have found everyone's comments helpful and that you will accept the advice given through love.
Ble
It must be very difficult to have someone look at your rash - no wonder the thought makes you feel weird. It would me too. Does the rash hurt you? Perhaps if someone came and helped it might get better? I know my mum doesn’t like her incontinence help……she’s like you tho and is kind so even tho she doesn’t like it ( and sometimes even tells the carers that! ) she always smiles when they have finished.
God bless you xxx
Bless you Matt. It’s tough to accept help isn’t it.…I’m never good at asking for it myself. As you say if you find your way home you can have the tracker in your pocket and not worry about it. For folks like us who like being in nature I actually think they are helpful if you have dementia or not. I’m always walking up hills and do wonder if I would easily be found if I fell and broke my leg etc. maybe I should get one too?
It must be very difficult to have someone look at your rash - no wonder the thought makes you feel weird. It would me too. Does the rash hurt you? Perhaps if someone came and helped it might get better? I know my mum doesn’t like her incontinence help……she’s like you tho and is kind so even tho she doesn’t like it ( and sometimes even tells the carers that! ) she always smiles when they have finished.
God bless you xxx
Well then them health home ones came today and it was like I'm feared was was girls was ladies and first time one was one so bad not so bad it's just dig around in my arm was need some three little thing blood but only got about half one that whole time you say kept on kept on coagulate coagulate that work and need to is getting more drink before they come back next time 2 days time but then they was want me to take off my britches and lay on the bed and I said can just keep on them underwears and they said yeah but then there is undoing right away and poking around and then him it's got my then they it's got my wife is coming in there and and the most sitting there standing there talking about like I'm not even in there and it's got me turn over and there's a poking around at my behind and they was talking so I'm just reaching grab a sheet and it's cover up and they say no not yet isn't okay there's nothing to be embarrassed about but I don't know I'm thinking they would have thought they would have thought different was they laying there with people looking at their naked behind and then was saying I'm got to get more good clean or is bees somebody is half a hell help and then say this is be some uncomfort uncomfort and that must be the toughest lady there ever was if she call that uncomfort cuz if felt like she's poking hot knife in me and say is got some affection and gots to clean it out so good and then I mean to tell you that her her hurt and I'm I'm have some pain before but not too many like that and then they wouldn't let me put a new underwears on that other lady that didn't say much did that one and they said it's two days and then come back and them give my Lisa show me messing Madison Madison medicine to be put on there and I don't know I might hide in the woods I might hide in the woods when them guys come back that that part was rough this is Matt sorry that long words and say bout nasty stuff but that what is happen and I ain't like it much sorry this is Matt
Oh @MatthewB that sounded a horrible experience for you, both in physical pain and pain to your dignity. The nurses don’t find these procedures embarrassing as they do them so many times and are being professional, but for you, as it would be for me, that would be a very upsetting thing to go through. You were very brave and it sounded like it needed to be done as you need to be treated and get well.
When they come back, it might not be so bad as you are starting to heal, so please don’t hide in the woods. As @Jessbow says, ask Lisa to be there. Hold her hand and hold onto your faith, and take comfort in both. Get Lisa to tell them to talk to you about what they are doing, as you are the patient and need to be included. Well done for getting through this so far Matthew.
When they come back, it might not be so bad as you are starting to heal, so please don’t hide in the woods. As @Jessbow says, ask Lisa to be there. Hold her hand and hold onto your faith, and take comfort in both. Get Lisa to tell them to talk to you about what they are doing, as you are the patient and need to be included. Well done for getting through this so far Matthew.
Well done for telling us what happened @MatthewB.
It sounds like you have a nasty infection and if it`s not treated it might affect your blood. It was not wrong for the nurses to try to make you better. What was wrong was they did not tell you clearly what they were doing and why they were doing it.
As @Jessbow and @DeeCee7 have said it would be much better if Lisa was with you next time.
If you refuse treatment and hide away you could become very poorly.
It might help the nurses to know how you felt if you showed them what you have written here and told us.
It is embarrassing for people who are used to being private but the doctors and nurses see hundreds of bodies all the time and all they want is to make you well.
It sounds like you have a nasty infection and if it`s not treated it might affect your blood. It was not wrong for the nurses to try to make you better. What was wrong was they did not tell you clearly what they were doing and why they were doing it.
As @Jessbow and @DeeCee7 have said it would be much better if Lisa was with you next time.
If you refuse treatment and hide away you could become very poorly.
It might help the nurses to know how you felt if you showed them what you have written here and told us.
It is embarrassing for people who are used to being private but the doctors and nurses see hundreds of bodies all the time and all they want is to make you well.
