Can I ... Should I?

[Sam Luvit]

Hi Slugsta

I did think it would be bliss if mum would just go to the gossip club, but I don't want her to be miserable. Good thing I wasn't there to hear someone being rude to my mum, I might have had words it's amazing that such a small break has made such a difference to me, but she has to come first

Hmmmmm. I'm so cross with the Physio. He was so disinterested. I walked out to the waiting room to collect mum & she asked how it went. I guess he now knows, as I told her it was a waste of time & it was an hour of my life I couldn't get back

Thing is, I've seen a few Physio people over the years, they can really help, or they can make you feel like you are moaning about nothing. Just because I have to grit my teeth & get on with doing things, doesn't mean I'm moaning about nothing. I do have to hoover, drive & carry things, mum can't do it. It blooming hurts, but I carry on or mum will try & she will get hurt. I don't want to just pop the pills, I want it to get better, or at least manageable. Not much to ask for is it

I'm sorry your mum is "not right", but good it's not as you feared. I'm with you on managing discomfort & not prolonging life just because they can. Hope it's just the weather or something simple & she rallies round. It doesn't seem to matter what it is, we are always chasing, nagging & pushing to get our loved ones comfort. I wish the medics would do it without us having to throw tantrums . Hopefully your mums GP gets the balance you want

 

[Sam Luvit]

I took the dog for a walk along the seafront. It was as much about him getting more exercise as it was about me getting out the house

I came back to lemon face & decided I wasn't going to play that game. The sun was shining, scorching day, so I set up the sun chairs, table & went out to soak up some vitamin D suggested to mum she joined me ( she's a hardened sun worshipper). No. Not happening. So, I left her to it

An hour later I tried again. She'd had breakfast & had donned rubber gloves she was "cleaning" the bathroom . Yay. More work for me later. But, I plastered a smile & told her it's going to be gloomy tomorrow (no idea if that was true), but I said she was wasting the tiny bit of summer cleaning when she could be in the sunshine & reading

. Mum came out to play. We've spent most of the day in the garden once she lost the lemon face. I've made drinks, scooped ice cream, moved chairs & nagged her to cream. Although she's called me bossy, she's smiled a lot

I took her shopping (she wanted to go), so we have a jammed freezer & fridge, but it tired her out & she trundled off to bed about 11 unheard of. I'm loving the peace n quiet

Now, if I could get my brain to kick in, I'm sure I could use the unexpected time wisely, but I'm too tired. So, here I am, rambling away, wishing it was next week & nearer to a few days break

 

[LadyA]

That hour of the night is not the time to be thinking of "using time wisely"!! It's the time for chilling out, relaxing and sleeping if at all possible!

 

[Sam Luvit]

That hour of the night is not the time to be thinking of "using time wisely"!! It's the time for chilling out, relaxing and sleeping if at all possible!

Indeed, but it's the only mum free time I get

 

[LadyA]

Indeed, but it's the only mum free time I get

Yeah. I remember being utterly exhausted but up reading in the small hours, because it was the only time I got to myself! And stressing at the time, thinking I should be using the time to sleep, and afraid to make a sound!

 

[Sam Luvit]

Yeah. I remember being utterly exhausted but up reading in the small hours, because it was the only time I got to myself! And stressing at the time, thinking I should be using the time to sleep, and afraid to make a sound!

Yes, that's about it. Creeping about so mum doesn't come back down to check on me

 

[Slugsta]

Afternoon all,

Life is so hard for those of you who live with your PWD I take my hat off to you all as there is no way on earth I could have lived with my Mum! My health problems have given me a good excuse but it goes far deeper than that

Sam, I am glad you managed to get some time in the sun - and that your mum smiled a lot. My Mum always enjoyed being out and about in the sun and could not understand why I didn't (she used to tan beautifully while Dad and I burned badly ).

 

[Sam Luvit]

Afternoon all,

Life is so hard for those of you who live with your PWD I take my hat off to you all as there is no way on earth I could have lived with my Mum! My health problems have given me a good excuse but it goes far deeper than that

Sam, I am glad you managed to get some time in the sun - and that your mum smiled a lot. My Mum always enjoyed being out and about in the sun and could not understand why I didn't (she used to tan beautifully while Dad and I burned badly ).

Evening Slugsta

Big brother graced us with his presence this evening , I think he would tell you no hats due on my account . I was hanging onto my temper by my finger nails

He kindly told me on the drive to drop him home that "mum was wittering about me taking over" & that it can't be easy on her not being able to do things now that she used to do without a thought

No s**t Sherlock

He did however, and I am grateful, show me a notice in the paper about a meeting in town tomorrow for carers, celebrating carers week (!!!), so I'm going along to see if I can get anything useful out of them

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi Rosy

I've just read about your worry with your mum. So sorry about the fall. Even more sorry about the stress you are having now. Yes, it is good you are the patient person you are.

In amongst all that, you still worried about me not posting. You are indeed a special lady. Have a giant bear hug. I think you need a few

Hope the AB's get her UTI sorted & she leaves the steri strips alone.

I'm trying to make sure I've got everything sorted for the road trip, while mum has not mentioned if it's on or off in her mind don't worry, I told big brother we are going, it's not up for discussion

I'm so looking forward to seeing you again. It'll be fine. No pressure coz we do understand. Be stong

 

[Margi29]

Hi all

Yes Sam I'm really looking foreword to meeting up with you and Rosy again. Fingers and toes crossed that all goes well, if in doubt there will be two out of our gang tied to the Pepsi max no Rosy not your mum

How's your mum Rosy ?? I tried to pm you, but it's saying your box is too full for more messages. I'm praying she's settled

Don't you just love brothers Sam?? I know i do when my darling brother attempts to tell me about mum
But good for him finding piece in paper for you, hope it's helpful.

Glad you've managed some time in the sun with your mum ice cream and a relax in the sun is ideal

Mums had her hair cut by daughter, she was growing it but it was so thin and straggling that it looked awful, you should have seen it !! My daughter was cutting it, while I'm been sneaky trying to pick all hair up without mum noticing, her hair is coloured brown now and she looked lovely yesterday.

I need to go and buy mum new trousers, the ones she has are a size 12, the amount of weight she's lost I'm thinking she's more like a ten or even an eight ?? So while in Blackpool I'm going to a well known shop ( sounds like armarni, but it's not )
And need to replicate all that mum has but in smaller sizes, mum would just continue wearing the others saying their fine, but they are not as she keeps having to pull them up. So hopefully I can swap the trousers in hotel room and mum will not notice.

The weather is supposed to be glorious up here !! Cloudy at moment so hopefully later??

My son returned from his holiday, all in one piece and still happy with girlfriend, so all good there. They are supposed to be going to see mum later, so hopefully I can have a break today

Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend x

 

[Slugsta]

Temps up to 28C here, I hope everyone is able to keep cool and comfortable!

 

[rosy18]

Hi everyone
Well I honestly thought I'd lost Mum there was just no life in her but she has come round a little all be it she is so much more confused I really do think the fall along with another uti has taken its toll on Mum she is so bruised and one being a haematoma on her leg. Her mobility is very limited and the carers coming in have helped me take Mum to the toilet and have a body wash then she's just about done in.The nurses are still coming in daily to do checks on Mum as her blood pressure is a bit up and down. The poor nurse today couldn't escape as Mum went from one amazing tale to another before she left but she was lovely apparently having an Auntie with late stage alzheimers so she sat and listened then when she had gone Mum was exhausted everything is such an effort.
The toilet throughout the night is hard going but we have the commode but lifting Mum on and off it and back into bed well in different circumstances it could look like a comedy sit com me hanging on to Mum whilst trying to get her knickers down then back up not forgetting to make sure pad is straight Still at least she is still hereSat waiting for the last carer to arrive 7pm to help get Mum ready and in bed. Next is organising the company that cover my carers respite to come and assess Mum that's Wednesday and then Joan will be part of that team Such a sudden downturn fromantic the fall although Mum has been more unsteady and sleeping a lot more plus not eating very much at all. I have to admit that at times I've thought it would be better if God took my Mum but when I thought it was going to happen I prayed so hard selfishly I suppose that she pulled through and at least spent a little more time with me, God willing that may happen.
Sam and Margi I am so looking forward to seeing you both I can't wait you will be just what the doctor ordered
Slugsta sorry to read your Mum hasn't been very well I agree completely with your decisions I could never sanction just keeping our loved ones going because they are able, just to manage pain is exactly what I would do.
Hope you survived the heat it was really warm here but couldn't get Mum outside so I've sat indoors and got some paperwork done....at last relief.

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi Margi

I wish I could have sorted the motor home, not to stay in, but for the travel up n down, it would have been easier, but it's still on the cards, so maybe another trip

Yes, my brother can wind me up at times. I mostly accept he's not going to do much & get in with it. I'm sort of, if you don't like how I do things, get involved ... or keep it to yourself

I told mum brother had told me I take over & it must be hard for mum as she can't do things that previously she would have done without a thought. We were having one of those rare sunny afternoon chats, so it was very relaxed. Mum thought brother should mind his own

I did go to the carer week celebration, I've left with leaflets & web site addresses, but not a lot else. Hope some of those pan out to be useful. I suspect their reserve was based on their obvious belief that I couldn't do it. So I set them straight with a list of what I've done work wise previously. They were a bit better after that. I may have misjudged them, but I didn't feel them believed little old me could set anything up

Mum just loves the sun. We went into town, everyone else was in shorts n vest tops, mum was wearing a long wraparound cardi/jacket coz she wasn't that warm she sat in the garden when we got home & went to sleep, while I watered the garden & tried to be quiet. She does enjoy it & I bring her plenty of cold drinks & ice lollies

I managed to persuade mum to lop off several inches, my niece did it as she's doing her level 3, then mum hated it. It looks loads better without the straggly bits, but she wants to grow it again I'm having a trim tidy up next week so I can try to look relatively passable to be out in company

I think I need more of a hint on the shop name, but then I don't really shop lol. I found 2 pairs of long shorts for mum today, which she happily bought. It's a struggle getting her to buy anything, she says she won't get the wear , I tell her they are soooooo cheap it would be daft to pass them up.

Youngest is talking about going away with his girlfriend, I know I'll worry about him, but it's about time he went somewhere. He has a bucket list. So far, she likes most of the places he wants to visit, so it's looking good

 

[Sam Luvit]

Temps up to 28C here, I hope everyone is able to keep cool and comfortable!

Mum would like it to warm up a bit please

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi Rosy

I've been thinking about you today & crossing everything that your mum is ok.

It sounds like your mum is at least tolerating carers, for which I'm relived on your behalf, so you are getting a little help & not having additional anxiety for it. Today's nurse sounds like a proper nurse, listening to your mum, it may have tired your mum out telling the tales, but I'll bet she was delighted to have an ear to bend, I can almost picture it, it's making me smile

Feel free to tell me to mind my own beeswax, but I do hope you are pushing for a big care package. You could do with the sleep. Is there any chance of getting night care so you can sleep? Even a few nights a week so you can catch up? You need to look after you . The sit com of balancing your mum, while tugging at her drawers will get too much, I hate to think of you struggling.

I'm up for following the Doc's orders. Margi will be encouraged if she has any reservations, not that I can imagine her having any reservations

We didn't survive the heat, we have revelled in it. We love the sun. Mum does have her tantrums & stating she needs to clean, but once I get her out in the sun, she's in her element.

Countdown to Doc's orders has started

 

[Slugsta]

Afternoon and Happy Fathers' Day to all,

Rosy, I am sorry that your mum has taken such a downturn recently Yes, the trying to hold someone up whilst also dealing with knickers can be quite a performance - please look after your back cos if you butter that, you will be no good for man nor beast ( trust me, I know!) (((hugs)))

Margi, I hope that all is well with you and your mum.

Sam, I am so glad that you and your mum have been enjoying the sunshine. I have my father's colouring and burn very easily but Mum always used to love the sunshine.

Speaking of Mum, she seemed much brighter today and, I think, was pleased to see our son. She also enjoyed the portion of raspberry trifle I had taken with us (although I was sad that she had to ask me what 'trifle' is )! Then hubby, son and I went for a relaxing, belated lunch, followed by a short stroll on Poole Quay. Son has gone back to London now, he is off to Cannes on Tuesday.

 

[Margi29]

Hi all

Absolutely fabulous weather at the moment

Hope everyone is enjoying it, it's a good excuse to eat ice cream

Thinking of your mum Rosy, hoping she's improved x

Have lovely memories Slugsta of the south coast, used to go loads with mum and dad
From Cornwall across to Kent over the years, a particular area I loved was a place called Sandbanks, and st Ives in Cornwall was beautiful. One day my aim is to drag my oh down to see all these lovely places, he has never seen any of the south
Hope your mum is settled and pain free x

Went round to mums, we sat out with two other residents in the communal garden, lovely and peaceful enjoying the sun, I made them long cold drinks and supplies of ice cream.

I've had many phone calls over weekend of the same repeated conversations with mum, but she's happy in herself and as long as she's well, I'm happy.

Another week and I will be in sunny Blackpool ( hopefully sunny) and so looking forward to meeting two lovely ladies again, with their mums x

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi Slugsta

Believe it or not, both mum & I were red heads, with freckles, but we both tan well.

I know up I can get her into the garden, I get peace .... so I do everything to get her in the sun

Hope your mum is keeping cook

 

[Sam Luvit]

Hi Margi

Yes, looking forward to Blackool, although the serious planning is this week, so I'm tired just thinking about that, but it'll be grand once we get there

Rosy, I've been crossing my fingers that you are managing & getting things in place, really hope the powers that be are pulling finger & getting you some help . Please free up a little fridge space for a bottle of three, coz we are sharing at least that

 

[Sam Luvit]

It was after 3 when I dragged myself upstairs to bed, but awake at 7

However, mostly kept the peace & mum has mostly been snoozing in the sun

Mum didn't eat much, I queried her, but she said, she had cake. She had bought a lemon sponge cream cake, you know, feeds 6 size. Well. She helped herself & only cut it in half & I've never seen snything like it. It disappeared she stayed in a good mood though