1. Avatar

    Avatar Registered User

    Jun 3, 2015
    1
    Hello,
    I am a new member. I have a serious problem with my dad am I'm sure I cannot be alone. It's a long story and I will try to be as precise without boring you.
    I'm hoping someone can help. Thanks in advance for reading this.

    Ok, my dad is almost 90 and had a massive stroke 3 years ago.
    I live abroad so I went back to look after him as my mum had died. He had over the last few years spent some months with my wife and I in Italy, and then I would take him back to the UK and stay with him until he decided he wanted to travel again.
    It wasn't an ideal situation as you can imagine, but we did it.

    Last August I arranged with my dad that my son would look after him for 3 weeks so that I could have a break. When we went to the UK lots had changed. My son had my dads debit card, with my dads approval and was using it like it was a bottomless pit of cash.

    Anyway after rows and tears, my dad said he didn't want to be looked after by me anymore and that my son would move in and do it.
    We went to social services and the police. Nothing can be done unless my dad agrees he is being bullied by his grandson, that will never happen. When I spoke to my son he threatened me.

    Since August my dad has cashed in all his investments, and has increased his overdraft from 250 to 1,500 pounds. My son drives a jeep and has now bought a motorbike. I have my dads mobilebank details on my iPad and he is paying tax , insurance, fuel , as he is paying for everything else.
    When I challenge dad, he says I have to help him. It's so frustrating.

    I asked his GP to call and he says that my dad has early stages of dementia. My hands are tied at the moment as I'm waiting for an operation and cannot travel.
    My question is what can I do? Has anyone ever applied for Power of Attorney with a report from a doctor saying he is in the early of dementia?

    I would be grateful for any advise.
    Avatar:confused:
     
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,713
    Female
    London
    I am afraid you cannot apply for POA without the donor having capacity and agreeing to it. Without it, you'll have to go down the deputyship role. If your dad is still considered as having capacity, he has the right to "make unwise choices" I am afraid. It's a bit if a minefield and must be a very difficult situation for you.
     

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