My mum at 93 often has problems when she is in the toilet as she wets the floor or a faeces is stood in and then trampled all over our flat. It is not all the time and she does wear incontinence knickers in case she doesn't get there in time. She doesn't seem to know that she has done it I just walk into it when I have to go, I can't follow her to the toilet all the time.:
Can anyone give me advice on toileting matters please
- Thread starter edye
- Start date
Hello
I think that's the thing, the times you don't follow will be the times the 'accidents' will happen. I have tried for a long time and I have finally worked out... there's no short cuts.
I would say that the only way to be sure is to help your Mum while she's in the loo, if she will allow you to help her.
Otherwise...
it's six of one half a dozen of the other.
It's hard work either way, you have my sympathy.
I think that's the thing, the times you don't follow will be the times the 'accidents' will happen. I have tried for a long time and I have finally worked out... there's no short cuts.
I would say that the only way to be sure is to help your Mum while she's in the loo, if she will allow you to help her.
Otherwise...
it's six of one half a dozen of the other.
It's hard work either way, you have my sympathy.
Hi edye
You have struck a chord here for me! I don't live with mum, but I go to give her lunch etc every day, and several times recently there have been the tell-tale faecal stains around the loo and on the carpet. She had to 'go' in a hurry while I was there today and managed to get it all over her slippers and trousers. I feel so sorry for her, she tries to deny it whenever she can
It is so hard to know what to do. One thing I have thought of is maybe taking some of the carpet up and putting lino down......but that's so cold and un-homely, isn't it?
I'm sorry I can't come up with any brilliant ideas. You have my sympathy, and I hope someone else may be able to help us both
Lindy xx
You have struck a chord here for me! I don't live with mum, but I go to give her lunch etc every day, and several times recently there have been the tell-tale faecal stains around the loo and on the carpet. She had to 'go' in a hurry while I was there today and managed to get it all over her slippers and trousers. I feel so sorry for her, she tries to deny it whenever she can
It is so hard to know what to do. One thing I have thought of is maybe taking some of the carpet up and putting lino down......but that's so cold and un-homely, isn't it?
I'm sorry I can't come up with any brilliant ideas. You have my sympathy, and I hope someone else may be able to help us both
Lindy xx
Hi there, you might want to consider a red toilet seat, as bright colours are easily recognisable, and number of accidents may reduce.
Best wishes
Anto
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Best wishes
Anto
Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
Thanks for this idea, anto However in my mum's case the main problem is getting there in time......Another result of this is that she refuses outright to drink a lot of the time.....
I will keep the idea in mind, though, it may be useful in the near future, I think
However in my mum's case the main problem is getting there in time......Another result of this is that she refuses outright to drink a lot of the time.....I will keep the idea in mind, though, it may be useful in the near future, I think
My MIL does the same. We have a toilet surround which seems to keep her more focused on the job! When she has been really bad I go in with her every time. When we go out I search for disabled toilets and go in with her (I don't give her a choice but make the excuse I will go as well). I do this because on numerous occasions I have found the floor literally swimming in urine and its so awful to clear it up in public
In her bedroom we have put vinyl down so that nothing gets ruined. Bathroom has tiles and we've removed all carpets from the house and have wooden floors. Its the only way we can 'manage' it
I do empathize and hope you find a solution
In her bedroom we have put vinyl down so that nothing gets ruined. Bathroom has tiles and we've removed all carpets from the house and have wooden floors. Its the only way we can 'manage' it
I do empathize and hope you find a solution
I agree with garnuft that the only way to deal with the situation you describe is to accompany your mum to the toilet and supervise her.
It's nice to have a carpet in the bathroom but there comes a point, and you seem to have reached it, where it is totally impracticable. You need a surface that is easily cleaned. There are so many things we would like to leave unchanged for all sorts of reasons. Accepting the need for a less attractive floor covering is no big deal in comparison with some of the other changes that are eventually forced on us.
It's nice to have a carpet in the bathroom but there comes a point, and you seem to have reached it, where it is totally impracticable. You need a surface that is easily cleaned. There are so many things we would like to leave unchanged for all sorts of reasons. Accepting the need for a less attractive floor covering is no big deal in comparison with some of the other changes that are eventually forced on us.
We have had all our carpet replaced with non slip vinyl. Husband has severe mobility problems but is not incontinent so accidents happen all the time if I can't move fast enough.
Not so warm as carpet but far better for clean ups and hygiene.Also a huge range of patterns and colours so it needn't be as bad as you think.
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Not so warm as carpet but far better for clean ups and hygiene.Also a huge range of patterns and colours so it needn't be as bad as you think.
Sent from my Hudl HT7S3 using Talking Point mobile app
Hmmm....vinyl is definitely the way forward, thanks all
I think I didn't consider it before because I still regard mum's flat as her own home, with her making choices like that......sadly I have to take over in many ways, while still allowing her to feel 'at home'.
Now thinking of how to explain the need for vinyl, when she is in denial about the problem.....think I'll just go with something like 'everyone has vinyl now'.....unless anyone has any better ideas?
Thanks again
Lindy xx
I think I didn't consider it before because I still regard mum's flat as her own home, with her making choices like that......sadly I have to take over in many ways, while still allowing her to feel 'at home'.
Now thinking of how to explain the need for vinyl, when she is in denial about the problem.....think I'll just go with something like 'everyone has vinyl now'.....unless anyone has any better ideas?
Thanks again
Lindy xx
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Would be an idea to ensure pants don't come down till ready to sit. Probs most when taking off pants to side of toilet and then flow starting.Then Only seat is most affected. We also spoke about problem and it has become so much better. If desperate I help with pulling down trousers and saying now sit. Not perfect but so much improved. Luckily or not we don't have faecal probs as constipation is present. As others said, Lino is best. Good luck.
Hi Lindy. To get your Mum to accept the new flooring I suggest something about it being a special offer for pensioners from the Government. Say that everyone over 80, or whatever she is, is being given £200 for new flooring as the Government is trying to prevent falls in older people on worn carpet.
Anything to do with it being free might well work, it did with my MIL! Just get the tradesman who installs to go along with whatever you say. As long as they get paid they shouldn't care!
Anything to do with it being free might well work, it did with my MIL! Just get the tradesman who installs to go along with whatever you say. As long as they get paid they shouldn't care!
Definitely non slip. Lindy will she accept the easier to keep clean version. Or the 'so much easier to walk on'version. Or the much cheaper than replacing your carpet version lots of possibilities.
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Sent from my Hudl HT7S3 using Talking Point mobile app
Hello and thank you for your ideas. My bathroom floor is tiled it is when she walks in it and it is on her slippers that she walks it into the lounge from the hall, however from what you have said I am not alone with this problem and will have to follow her into the loo when I see her going there as you have said there are no short cuts.Mum seems to get water infections a lot which add to the problem as she gets confused, I know she doesn't drink enough but it is hard to get her to drink more we are forever saying have a drink mum.
Hello
I think that's the thing, the times you don't follow will be the times the 'accidents' will happen. I have tried for a long time and I have finally worked out... there's no short cuts.
I would say that the only way to be sure is to help your Mum while she's in the loo, if she will allow you to help her.
Otherwise...
it's six of one half a dozen of the other.
It's hard work either way, you have my sympathy.
Hello
Thank you for your reply, the bathroom floor is tied it is when she walks through the hall into the lounge when she has it on her slippers I will after try to accompany her as much as possible to the loo.
Being pensioners ourselves it is not easy to change all the flooring in the flat as we need the warmth of carpets in the winter but it may be something we will have to think seriously about if it gets worse.
Thank you for your reply, the bathroom floor is tied it is when she walks through the hall into the lounge when she has it on her slippers I will after try to accompany her as much as possible to the loo.
Being pensioners ourselves it is not easy to change all the flooring in the flat as we need the warmth of carpets in the winter but it may be something we will have to think seriously about if it gets worse.
Thanks nitram. I would definitely go for non-slip vinyl - even then, I think there's more concern that she may slip, than there would be with carpet. This is so difficult....
Like edye, I find that mum gets it on her slippers and walks it through. The problem is that because she lives alone, I can't be there all the time (though sometimes it feels like it!) so we have to go for safety first. There is a warden on site about 3 - 4 days a week, but she just pops in and sees to immediate practical issues like maintenance.
I am exhausted thinking about this and everything else ....
Lindy xx
Thanks for the idea pippop......I will try it if I need to. On the whole, though, mum is reluctant to accept any grants or offers from the government, so it might not be my first option....
xWe have done things like getting MIL to sign things by saying the government are giving the money to over 80's when in fact it is nothing of the sort. She forgets withing seconds
I think pippop1 has the best solution
I agree with you when you say it is so tiring to work out what is best, its mentally as well as physically
All the best
I think pippop1 has the best solution
I agree with you when you say it is so tiring to work out what is best, its mentally as well as physically
All the best
Mum is 83 and sometimes don't make the toilet due to signals not reaching the brain quick enough.She has done it in the kitchen ,bathroom and other public places .Its just something we have got used to now.
